New Year's Superstitions & Traditions

This tag has a bit more animation than most of my tags, so it may take longer to load...

With New Year's Eve approaching, it is interesting to note that some people perform certain New Year's rituals. Are there any that you might add?

1. Stay up past midnight.

2. Kiss someone at midnight.

3. Open & close doors to let out the Old Year & let the New Year in.

4. Money must be placed in every wallet in the place to ensure for a prosperous year.

5. Eat 12 grapes at midnight.

6. Wear red panties or boxers for love.

7. Wear gold panties or boxers for prosperity.

8. Throw coins into the home at midnight and leave them there for 24 hours. Then, put them on your altar or give them to the needy.

9. Make New Year's resolutions.

10. Eat fish for prosperity.

11. Eat black-eyed peas for luck and money. (yuck!) LOL

12. There should be food in the cupboard and in the refrigerator.

13. Make noise to ward off evil spirits.

14. Checks should be written & mailed before January 1st.

15. Wear something new on New Year's Day to ensure receiving more new clothes in the year.

16. Dance around a tree in the open air to have good luck in love, prosperity, and health.

17. Don't throw anything out on New Year's Day, not even garbage.

XX

P.S... The New Moon joined us yesterday. Time to stop dieting & eat "normal" within reason... Didn't do so well this time around, because there were too many temptations ~ fresh baked cookies, tamales, and of course, chocolate (although the chocolate did bring about what could have been a great dream)! LOL

Meetings Of Chance- Meetings of Fate

Naughty! Naughty! Naughty! Never leave a woman alone with chocolate in the house! LOL... All I got for Christmas was little bags of milk chocolate from the people at work... I still have one little bag left, but maybe if it had been dark chocolate, I wouldn't feel so bad about eating it, because at least dark chocolate is good for the heart... Yesterday, I exercised a bit, but I don't think it was nearly enough for all the sugar and food I put into my body! LOL...

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Last night I had another dream... I was in this large room where everything was white and the only furniture in the room was a large bed with fluffy white sheets. The only color in the room was me and this cute guy... The mood was romantic... As we kissed, white candles appeared, wicks flickering throughout the room like little twinkling lights... Then this woman comes in. She totally ignored the romantic mood of the room and starts asking us questions... We try to ignore her, continuing to kiss, but she sits on the bed and keeps asking questions... So suddenly the sheets do not look as fluffy and the flickering candles disappear... Then she gets up and leaves... We reach for one another again... the flickering candles reappear and we are kissing more passionately than before... when another woman walks in to spoil the mood once more... I think she was the previous woman's boss, because she starts asking if the woman had come to ask us questions... She totally ignores the mood of the room as well, as if it is very important that she ensure that the other woman was doing her job... The dream could have gone into some wonderful love making... Too bad those women showed up. LOL...

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XX

He is the Reason

I had a dream last Saturday, so I need to write about it... In my dream, I was at my ideal weight and I was walking my Marilyn Monroe walk... I saw myself walking away, and then, turning my head to look at someone. I do not know who the person(s) was, but I was surprised to have been "discovered" so late in my life... That person(s) had me in mind for a very special role. I do not know what the role was or is. All I know is that the role is something very exciting, and they said that they wanted to send me to school for it at no cost to me... The dream was so wonderful that I overslept. Thank God it was on a Saturday. LOL @ I was just excited to see myself at my ideal weight again and that my legs were healed in my dream. If there is another role for me to play in my lifetime, I can hardly wait to know what it is!

I spent just about all day with Mr. Good Wrench, but he couldn't find the part to fix Jones' window. I wish he had told me so that I could have spent the time doing something else. He got after me, saying that I don't allow anyone to get close to me... It's funny how men who have wives think it's ok for you to be their girlfriend. I don't care if she is only a "common law" wife. In my eyes, she is still a wife, and even if he wasn't married, I am only interested in him as a mechanic. LOL

Hammer Guy had to fix the lights that are over my desk. He really tried. He kept bringing in lightbulbs, probably all the new ones he had, but I think it is an electrical problem, so he had to leave me in the dark. LOL... The lead worker had him look for some more chairs in the storage room, but there was a white owl in the storage room. LOL @ he was afraid the owl would attack him until he noticed that I was so calm about the bird, commenting at how beautiful it was... The other girls ran away when they saw it. LOL... I gave out Christmas cards to everyone last week. Hammer Guy was all happy when he got his. LOL... I don't plan on going out with him, but he is good eye candy. LOL

Skinny Girl finally looked at me. I have been going out of my way to make her feel that I have accepted her. I think it worked, because she gave me some chocolate kisses for Christmas! Boy, was I surprised! That means she has finally accepted me, so that was a good triumph this week...

Santa showed up this week. I have a desk now, even though it looks like a toy desk, because it is so small, but it has drawers, so one of the girls is jealous. LOL... The head secretary let me pick which desk I wanted. Mine is the only one that has all the handles on the drawers. LOL... It's good that she likes me...

We had our Christmas celebration yesterday... The boys played games and danced to music in the morning. They had a lot of fun and my group allowed me to take their picture. I had a family show up to see their son. I had to check their identities and make sure that they brough birth certificates to prove relationship to the youth. They had not seen their son since he was crawling. The boy is now 17. The visit was so emotional. There were lots of tears and hugging. The boy didn't know they were coming so it was a pleasant surprise for him. There was a chair set out for each famly member, but mother, brother, and sister all sat in the chair closest to the youth. LOL... At noon, I had to break up the visit, because the youth had to go eat. We had some girls from a local church who came to sing Christmas carols. The Christmas luncheon was very good~ tamales, chicken, a vegetable dish, coleslaw, fruit salad, and Tres Leches cake. I didn't like the cake, but the tamales were what I liked best.

We were supposed to go back to work on Friday, but our boss said that he got permission for us to have the day off. OMG... We were so happy to hear that... The only thing is that we had to complete a week's worth of work in two days. I wasn't able to see the boys until late in the afternoon, so I tried to rush to complete my work. There was only one that I didn't have time to file, but I will do that on Monday.

I hope that everyone will have a very Merry Christmas...

XX

:::Snow-Flake-Friends:::

Is it Friday?! OMG @ is this what "TGIF" is all about?!# It feels so good! LOL... What a pleasant day it was... Perhaps more so because it was the last day of the work week... I got all of my updates completed and filed on time, some ahead of time... The lead worker didn't input my completed case into the computer, but she allowed me to do it myself on her computer, which was super, because I want to learn what has to be done instead of having someone else do the work for me... How exciting! It was so liberating to submit my first case for approval!

I have been bringing my lunch to work almost everyday since I started to work there. I am surprised that my clothes are fitting better, and my tummy is learning to eat less at lunchtime. Today, I went out to eat Chinese with M & M. The food was so delicious, and it is always so fun to eat with chopsticks. I got a free calendar, too! I don't know what the calendar is made of, but I can't believe they would give it away for free, because it is of good quality. And of course, at the end of the meal, you get a little fortune cookie with a fortune or quote inside of it. It's so fun! LOL...

"Hammer Guy" overheard me when I said that yesterday was my favorite day of the year. Today he asked me how long I was married. LOL @ he is interested... LOL @ playing dumb as if I don't know he's flirting...

With everyone participating in the Secret Santa putting up their Santa Wish List, I put up my little wish list beside theirs. LOL... a desk, a computer, computer access, a filing cabinet, a phone, and an office key. M saw my list, smiled at me, and said she was going to take it to the director. LOL... They already know I need those things to do my work...

My little trooper has a Sponsor! Oh, so happy for him... He drew and colored some pretty flowers with pastels (chalk) for me. Oh, so pretty! I taped them up on the wall where I can see them everyday. Makes me happy!

XX

Winter Song

Today is my favorite day of the year. It is the anniversary of my divorce from my girls' father. LOL...

Well, Jones & I made it through Monday and Tuesday. Driving with the window open for two days turned me into an Ice Princess. LOL... With my luck, this had to happen on the coldest days of the week... grrr... I wasn't able to see Mr. Good Wrench until Tuesday evening because he is closed on Mondays. Poor Jones had his guts taken out of the passenger door so they could get to the glass. The little part that holds the window up is broken. Mr. Good Wrench got the window to close, threw all of Jones guts in the trunk and told me to come back on Saturday so he could fix it... Well, there goes my Saturday!

His wife has been spending more time at the shop. I think she suspects that he has a girlfriend... LOL @ she was walking around, trying to see who the blonde was in the car (moi). Mr. Good Wrench has been after me ever since we met. I cannot remember how I discovered his shop. Perhaps it was on one of those occasions when I was having car trouble and Jones stopped at his place... Nevertheless, meeting him has been a blessing, because he lets me ride even when I don't have the money to pay him. I still owe him money from last month when I was having car problems... I don't even remember what it was for, but I am so grateful that he is always there when I need him.... Well, unless if it is Monday. LOL

I am not participating in the Secret Santa, but someone left a Christmas mug with chocolates in it and a box of Mocha Cappuccino on my desk! OMG @ I wonder who left it there. They didn't put my name on it, so I am wondering if it was actually meant for me. What if I eat the candy and it was meant for someone else? Oh, that would make me feel bad. Maybe I should wait to see if someone claims it...

Merry Christmas, Norma Jeane

Compared to my other "saucy" tags, this one must be rated G! LOL... This is Norma Jeane before she became Marilyn Monroe...

The lead case manager was very b*tchy today... I guess she wonders what I do all day, because there were groups waiting to be seen this afternoon, but I see most of my kids on Tuesdays. This is kind of hard, because we also have staffings on Tuesdays. They were scheduled by someone else, so I have nothing to do with that, but that means that my busiest day is Tuesday.

What helped me to get caught up was the day that the girls were out. Their absence was a tremendous blessing, because I was able to use the phone without having to wait on them to finish their phone calls. Also, although I still have to hand write my entries, I try to write my updates as soon as they happen so that I don't forget. This helps because my notes are always up to date.

In reality, I don't know what she has to gripe about, really, because she only has about 24 cases, which is a very low caseload. What makes some women get so b*tchy? I just don't get it. I never get b*tchy. Is there something wrong with me if I don't get b*tchy?!#

The Secret Santa started today... The stockings are hung in our office, so they come and check their stockings and leave things for the people they got... It is all too funny to watch them come and go, because they are all acting like little kids over their gifts...

The skinny girl was in the office today, whispering as usual, to the lead case manager. Guess her mother never told her that it is rude... I was shocked to hear that she loves sexy lingerie, because a stick figure probably has more meat on it's bones. LOL... Oh, my bad! LOL... She still can't seem to look at me in the eyes. She always looks away whenever I am around. I guess she must think I am beautiful. ha ha...

The brother of one of my kids was shot and killed in his home country. They buried his brother today. I contacted the social worker supervisor to ask her to help me with him, just in case he needed counseling after he got the news... And I don't have a phone, so I thought it would give him some privacy if we made the phone call from her office. The boy's brother who lives in New Orleans gave him the news over the telephone. The youth was in disbelief, hurt, and tearful, but he was a real little soldier about it and said he wanted to resume with classes the rest of the day... I checked on him later in the day. He was quiet but he said he was doing ok...

Normally, I would have handled everything myself... the phone call to the brother, the counseling, etc, but because this company only wants me to work as a case manager, I am limited as to how much I am allowed to do. It feels strange to limit myself, because it makes me realize how overworked I was in my past jobs.

I received my first paycheck today. George W. Bush (who is a republican by the way<-- read that Screaming Remo! LOL) took a huge chunk out of my paycheck, way too much! I am glad that I didn't volunteer for them to take any more money than what the company pays for insurance. Imagine how much smaller my check would have been! OMGGGG........

Another thing that happened today is that my car window won't close. The weather is supposed to get into the 30's tonight & I have to wake up way early tomorrow because we have a meeting at 7:00 a.m. My mechanic is off on Mondays, so I am praying that the car thieves don't show up tonight. My car has been broken into twice since I have lived at these apartments. I would hate to wake up not to find my car in the morning... Plz say a prayer for Jones' safety (my car) tonight....

XX

P. S... I had a good diet day today, but I was disappointed to hear that we have to buy our own water. It turns out that the only water available to us is the water that comes out from the bathrooms, so tomorrow, I will have to take my own water/drinks. I was going to start out the day with Tae Chi but I only have nine of the exercises. One is missing. LOL... Will need to figure out which one it is...

Dear Santa: It's Bettie Page!

"I was not trying to be shocking, or to be a pioneer.

I wasn’t trying to change society, or to be ahead of my time.

I didn’t think of myself as liberated,

and I don’t believe that I did anything important.

I was just myself.

I didn’t know any other way to be, or any other way to live."

~Bettie Page

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Who is Bettie Page?!# OMG @ I can't believe someone asked that! Bettie Page was the most famous Pinup of the 1950's. She is known as the Queen of Pinup. Bettie had a Bachelor of Arts degree, but during the 1950's women were not taken seriously in business, so after college, she worked as a secretary. After she was "discovered" she posed for photographs that were shocking for her time. She knew how to sew, so she made her costumes and bikinis. She also posed nude and for fetish and bondage photographs. She stopped posing for photographs after she had a spiritual experience, and in her later life, worked as a missionary to spread the word of God.

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In the movie "Clueless," Claire refers to her mom as a "Bettie." That means her mom was hot, a total babe... Although Bettie Page was a very pretty girl, she survived three divorces. It's funny how most pretty girls are not lucky in love...

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I guess that must mean that I am really beautiful, because I am not lucky in love at all! LOL... Of course, there have been many men that I have ignored... I have men giving me their phone numbers all of the time, but I usually end up losing their number... be it coincidental or a subconcious act! LOL

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Last week, I think the maintenance man, aka The Hammer Guy (sounds more hip~ LOL), was trying to ask me out. OMG @ how young is that guy? Thank God, I don't show my age... Besides, I work for a religious organization and it is never a good idea to mix in the office ink, so that sounds like a double whammy! LOL... I felt kind of pervy the other day, because I was physically attracted to the newspaper reporter, aka Clark Kent Stud. That one is only 21 years old... OMG @ I had to slap myself silly about that one! LOL...

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Most people in the world are so busy trying to find someone to live their life with... Most of them do not know how to cook, do not have an education, do not have a career, might not even be a little bit attractive, but they are still looking... I have been too busy trying to survive... Are my priorities off balance?!

XX

::: Frosty :::

Just dashing by with another Christmas tag...

The moon is full... time to diet...

XX

P.S... OMG @ Bettie Page died tonight.

Birds In The Snow

LOL @ Jimmy's comment about my tags being so saucy that he plans to write to Santa himself! As you can see, I took a turn on this tag... a reminder that just as God takes care of the little birds, he will continue to take care of us...

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I woke up at 7:00 a.m. this morning, which is the time that I have to leave to work to be at work by 8:00 a.m... I put my makeup on so fast, got dressed so fast, and flew faster than my Guardian angels could fly! To my surprise, I got into the building at 8:01 a.m., not knowing how bad or how good I looked! LOL...

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I am pretty caught up on my cases, so I am a bit frustrated, because I wish they were moving a bit faster, but what is left to do is out of my control... We had our weekly staffing today, which took a big chunk of the morning... In the afternoon, I had to investigate the case of the boy who urinated on the arm of one of my kids... I only saw five kids today because three of them went to court, so I have to see them tomorrow. I am ok with that, because it will help me to look busy. LOL... My boss continues to keep a serious face. That continues to worry me... I still have to pinch myself about having a job... I hope the rug is not pulled out from under me...

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The girls continue to stay within their own little click... They were a bit anxious today because they had to see the kids they didn't see yesterday and the kids they were scheduled to see today... so they were on the phone most of the day... I was able to make my phone calls when they were out at lunch time...

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As for my rent, I have to pay late fees for each day that I am late so that's 12 days of late fees. It would have probably been cheaper to make a hot check. I do not know how much I will be paid, but I must believe that God will provide... Gasoline is at $1.49 in the town where I work and it is $1.45 in the town where I live. Too bad I had to gas up where I work. LOL @ it happens...

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XX

P.S... It's awfully windy outside right now. I wonder if that means it is going to be cold tomorrow...

Waiting For Santa

It was already nine o'clock and the girls still hadn't come in to work... If I had not gone up to the front to ask, no one would have told me that both the girls were out sick...

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It was nice to have the office all to myself, because I am still without a desk, a computer, and a phone. It was nice not to have to wait on anyone to use the phone... The mother of one of the kids finally returned my phone call, so I was happy about that, because the case is missing a lot of documents... The maintenance guy even came in to help me get rid of the spider webs in the corners of the ceiling... LOL...

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Plus, I was able to check out the girls systems...

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The lead worker files her case notes/packets alphabetically and uses a three-tier basket to separate the progress or lack of progress per packet separating each packet with a paper clip. She has been there the longest, but she only has things that pertain to work. Her area is neat and tidy. Behind her are drawings of art that the kids have given to her before they leave the shelter...

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The other worker has personal pictures everywhere, and notes that pertain to work are all over the walls. Her forms are in file folders that are placed out in the open. Her case notes/packets are placed in file folders, labeled in pencil, because she says that she reuses the folders. The kids never give her anything, probably because her walls are full of work stuff instead of kids art. She also has a small Xmas tree and a Nativity set on her desk. Her area is the messiest. LOL...

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This taught me a lot about the way people keep their work stations and how they organize their thoughts... The lead worker's way of doing things seems the easiest. When I get a file cabinet, I will try to do things the way she does so that my desk area won't end up like the other worker's. LOL

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I know Mother always tells me that I am fat, but I am lighter than the other two girls that I work with and they are half my age... Is the button on my pants stretching or is my waist getting smaller? LOL @ probably I am the only one who notices the difference...

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The kid that I see on Mondays complained that one of the other kids urinated on his arm. Gross! I talked with the dorm supervisor, but she said that those two boys are always playing around and after they tell on each other, they end up carrying on like they are the best of friends, as if nothing happened...

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Oh, another thing that happened today is that I saw the director sweeping the hall with a broom. Wow! Unheard of!

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Also, it looks as if all the apartments require for you to be at your job at least three months before they will consider you, so that means that I will not be able to move until February....

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XX

Dear Santa: I Can Explain

I haven't found a Christmas scrap kit that I like, so I have minimal things to work with to make Christmas tags. I hope people like what I have made so far...

People always say that if you are naughty, Santa won't bring you presents. I think that is a sorry thing to say to children, because I was always a good girl, but I only got one Christmas present my entire childhood. When buying Christmas gifts, I always think of the children first. I think children should get at least one present on Christmas day.

I don't know what life will be like at the shelter this Christmas season. All I know is that the children that are not reunited with their families will be sad to spend Christmas at the shelter. I hope that we will be able to do something to keep their spirits up... Instead of the Secret Santa idea for the staff, I think we should have donated CD players or radios for the kids at the shelter... I don't know what activities they are planning, but it would be nice to have them do a play or something...

I think I have found a new church home... Well, for as long as I continue to live in this area... I have been going to a nearby Shrine for many years, but I never knew that they give Mass in Latin at the church! I don't know if it is a recent change or if they have always had Mass in Latin, but it has brought back memories of my childhood of the way Mass used to be...

First of all, it is a humble church, which I love, because that means that my money will be helpful instead of being spent on things that the church really doesn't need... The priest faces the altar instead of the people. At communion, people kneel at the pews at the front of the church instead of standing up to receive communion, and they receive communion on their tongue instead of in their hand. Even the music is in Latin! It feels as if the voices are voices of angels singing... The women cover their heads with beautiful lace mantillas, just like in the days of old. I love mantillas. I wish I still had my long mantilla, but I have lots of hats and a collection of pretty vintage gloves that I can wear. I just wish I had prettier clothes to wear... but I need to lose some weight before I consider making some pretties... I am so adorable but nobody knows. LOL...

This morning, I made some homemade corn tortillas to eat with breakfast. All last week, nothing seemed to satisfy my pallete, but this morning's breakfast was yummy. I think I will make some homemade chili today...

My scale doesn't work, because it needs batteries and I can't find the right kind... I am not sure if I have lost some weight this week, but I feel lighter so if I looked at a scale and my weight has not gone down, it would not be helpful, so NOT having a scale that works has been helpful. LOL... I am not eating diet food. I am just trying to eat less and I am taking vitamins. I wake up so early that when I get home, I am exhausted, so I haven't gone walking, and I have been going to sleep earlier than usual... But I have been able to stay awake all day at work, and so far, I have been able to survive wearing my two-inch heels. Yay!

There is still a lot to learn at work, but so far, I am happy to see progress in my cases, and I have been able to keep up with the paperwork. The phone people were in the office last week and they installed the plug where my computer will go, so that is hopeful. I hope I will have a computer and a phone at work soon. My desk will be by the window so I am happy that my boss said that is where they will put me!

Payday is nine days away. LOL @ I continue to count the days... It is hard for me to understand why my coworkers live paycheck to paycheck when they have a two paycheck household, but then, they go out to eat everyday... and it sounds as if they are wasteful with their money.

XX

Dear SaNTa...

People at work are busy making their Christmas lists for the Secret Santa exchange... On one side, they are writing what they don't like and on the other side, they are writing what they like. It's all too funny, because they look like little kids who write letters to Santa, except that my coworkers are expecting gifts of at least $25.00 in addition to the other four daily small gifts...

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Unfortunately, I cannot afford to play along. I keep counting the days until payday, but it is still so far away... I was so embarrassed this week, because Maxine invited me to come to her office to eat. I only had raman noodles to eat and I had to eat it cold because there is no breakroom to heat up my food. The previous day, I tried to take hot soup in a school size thermos, but the soup arrived cold... It was not very tasty cold...

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The way I see it, if I cannot buy gifts for my family this year, surely, I cannot afford to buy for coworkers... I don't know most of them, anyway, and there is no guarantee that I would get Maxine or Anna, who are the ones that I like best... If I want to give someone a gift, I would rather give a gift to someone directly, not expecting anything in return... Why do people think that if a gift is expensive, it is a great gift? I would much rather receive something that took some thought or something that is homemade, even if it is only worth a couple of dollars... Is that stupid thinking?

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I used to love Christmas, but ever since people turned it into a money making business, it just doesn't feel the same. As for me and my family, we will continue to keep the Christmas traditions.

XX

P.S... The landlady left me a nasty note, because I asked her for a 30-day notice form. Last night, it was colder than usual, but the weather is back to normal today. I had to take Tidbit (my cockatiel) into the bathroom, because it is warmer there, and I slept on the floor in the middle of the apartment, because I couldn't get the heater to work. I am surprised that I slept so good that I didn't wake up until 9:30 this morning. OMGG... what if it had been a work day?! I will be so happy to be out of this apartment. I hope I pass probation at work, so I can move from here, because I really-really- really hate living in this apartment... LOL... I only have three bins to pack stuff into, so this weekend, I am going to start packing stuff from the kitchen... When I get paid, I will have to buy more bins. I wish I could begin the New Year in a new place, but it may have to be later than that... God, please help me to pass my probation at work!

The moon continues to wax... new seasons of increase are manifesting themselves in my life... This week, I found a penny on the ground... Yay @ pennies from heaven... a sweet message from God not to worry, that all of my needs will be met... Makes me feel God's wings of comfort all around me as if God is giving me a hug... Makes me happy!

P.S.S.. AGAIN?! LOL... If anyone would like to exchange Christmas cards by snail mail, please leave me your address at winivere@yahoo.com with "Xmas Cards" in the subject line. XX

Spread Your Wings

Here is another Snag or Tag offer.

In my research to find blogs to award the Marie Antionette Award to, I discovered more people who have awarded me this award! LOL... So far, there are eight people who awarded me this award. Funny how I never knew about it... LOL... that's funny... If there are more of you out there who awarded me this award, please raise your hand. LOL

Anyway... so far, these are a few blogs that I would like to pass this award to... I will be back tomorrow to do some more research to find more. LOL...

Mike is a single chiropractor who writes about his dating experiences. Great to catch things from a male's point of view. The second blog listed contains pictures from actual profiles. It is good for a laugh...
http://goingsaneinacrazyworld.blogspot.com/
http://icantbelieveshesstillsingle.blogspot.com/

Sandra performs as a belly dancer, but she is also studying law. She writes about her life and her dating experiences. She just had a birthday.
http://frauleinsenorita.blogspot.com/

Kat is a sweet married mom who thinks of others first. She is trying a new diet called the Clean Diet. I am anxious to find out what it is...
http://thebigjourneytochangemylife.blogspot.com/

Here are the rules for the Award:
1. Please put the logo on your journal - Real People - Real Blogs.
2. Place a link from the person, from whom you received the award.
3. Nominate at least 7 if you can.
4. Put the links of those on your journal.
5. Leave a message on their journal to let them know.
6. Put the award on your sidebar/journal.

Marie Antoinette Award

OMGGGGG!!! LOOKS like I have been awarded the Marie Antoinette Award of Real Blogs by Real People by eight people: Joyce of Tags and a Little Chatter, Liz of 40 Something, Veronica of Buffalo Squirrels, Rose of Roses Are Red, Lynne of I'm On A Mission, Louise of Our Lives, Dannelle of Odes To The Odd Part Deau, and Robin of Random Threads.

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I don't know why they think I am worthy to receive this award, but I am just grabbing my award and running away with it! LOL...

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Thank you so much for thinking that I am as REAL as the Queen who was accused of having extramarital affairs, orgies, and incest with her own son... Just don't put my head on a guillotine! LOL...

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I will try to pass on the batan to other "real" bloggers who write about "real" everyday life, although it will be a challenge to find them, because the ones I was thinking of have already won this award! Will have to do some more research for this before I post my choices...

XX

Look Deep Within

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I usually start out my day in prayer, but this morning, I had to take my mind off Mother by praying all the way to work! It was hard to keep from crying, but I am not eligible to take time off for that! Good grief! I am so mad at myself for allowing her to make me feel bad!

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I think God heard my prayer, because when I got to work, I had plenty of work to keep myself busy. First of all, I tried to file the paperwork that I did the previous week. I hope I put everything in the right places! I just put like forms together just like playing matching in kindergarten. LOL...

@->----

When I got back from filing, I had received three packets from three of the kids sponsors, so I had to go through the packets to ensure everything was there. Most of the time, there is something missing, but I don't have a phone at work and the girls were busy using their phones all day, so I had to wait until after work to make my phone calls...

@->----

Most of my kids are in one group, except for the one I saw today. Turns out he has a very bad cold, so I notified the infirmery & an appointment was made for him to see the doctor tomorrow... Tomorrow, I have staffing in the morning, and I have to eight kids to see in the afternoon, so I have to see what I can do to speed their cases along and report back to them... That means that tomorrow will be another busy day... Yay!

@->---

At lunch time, the woman I started this job with came over to my office to eat lunch with me. She has the same background experience as I do except that she has a Master's in Social Work and she is licensed. She is not my supervisor, but she is an administrative supervisor.

@->---

I am angry at myself for not being able to do the kind of work I used to do because I don't have a license. That means less money... Looking through the kids packets, I have to evaluate income to ensure the sponsors can care for the kids financially. In this process, I have discovered that people who pack chickens with no degree and no English are making more money than I do... even waitresses make more money than I do, $1,000 in tips alone! OMGGG...

@->---

Anywho... the woman said that she missed me a lot and that she felt that we had bonded when we had training together... We had a good talk, sharing thoughts, etc... She says she likes me a lot because I make her laugh. I thought that was odd, because I thought I was serious at training. LOL... BUT... One thing that I never expected to hear her say is that she will always back me up if I need her to. Wow! So happy to have a good friend in high places! LOL

@->----

Question

I don't get paid until December 15. My rent is due no later than December 3. I have to make a hot check to pay my rent. If anyone has made a hot check before, can you tell me what will happen? Will it cause problems with the landlord? Also, once you give a hot check, how many times will it bounce and how much does it cost every time it bounces?

Thanks for your help.
XX

Sunday S-U-R-V-E-Y!

This is my 2nd posting today. LOL @ making up for being away?!

I snagged this little meme from Lucky Begonia's journal. Super simple... You just highlight the things you've done in your life. Unfortunately, it has transformed itself into black which will not show up against my black background so gotta go back & redo. Grrr... LOL... I know you will do this one, Sandra! Teehee... My answers are in pink. I think I am behind in my travels. ha ha

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii (no but dau did)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain (only a hill. LOL)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (in the shower & in the car. LOL)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (from my porch)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (several)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you were not ill
24. Built a snow fort (no but a sand fort yes)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (no but walkathon yes)
28. Riden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (city no but country yes)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (can hardly wait to be there again)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke (badly LOL)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant (frequently & anonymously)
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (modeled for an art class while in college)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (no but I was in a play & on TV)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (several)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible (a big chunk of it but not all)
86. Visited the White House (doesn't say @ Washington DC LOL)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (fish)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury (it was a mock jury. LOL)
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (no- this is surprising because Grandfather raised bees)
100. Had a life-death experience

S-E-X-Y

I woke up crying in my sleep. Grr @ I hate when that happens... I try to be strong, but my body always seems to come to my defense, even if it is only through a few tears...

I am embarrassed about spilling my guts out yesterday. What was I thinking when I thought that Mother had finally changed?!! The only time I remember her actually being happy about the way I looked was when I had a short haircut like a boy and I was wearing a size zero. Having my hair cut that short was not by choice... it was because of a bad haircut that had to be re-cut.... Being a size zero was also not by choice... It was because I was in a bad car accident and was not able to eat anything but liquids...

In Mother's eyes, I am and will always be nada, because: (1) I am not a boy and (2) I am no longer a size zero... It wouldn't matter to her if I had a million degrees on my wall or if I was friends with Sister Teresa. The only thing that is important to her is appearance, which is ironic, because she doesn't want me to look sexy and she doesn't want me to have a nice place to live. She hates it that I have boobs and that I live in an apartment with electricity and running water inside. Makes me want to get out of this humble apartment where nothing works and move into the best possible apartment I can afford! That would REALLY shock her! LOL...

I know I am the one to blame, because I don't want to look like a boy and I don't want to be a size zero... That is where the conflict lies... Oh, I could snap back with all sorts of words and things that I have kept my mouth shut about just to boomerang the hurt, but really, what point is there in that?!# Telling someone they are fat is just as ridiculous as telling them that they are short or skinny or that they have a big nose. No one knows our imperfections better than we do, so what makes some people feel that it is their duty to tell us we are not perfect. Do they think we are dead or blind or so out of touch with reality that we cannot see our own faults?

Like Marilyn Monroe, no one ever told me that I was pretty when I was a little girl, and no boyfriend or husband ever told me that, either, but that never stopped me from wanting to make something of myself. I am sorry that will never be enough for her. Her never ending cruelty may hurt, but I know that in a couple of days, I will snap out of it, because the survivor inside of me will NOT allow her to break me...

The moon is waxing...

There are more important things to think about...

* I will not get paid until December 15. I will have to make a hot check to pay my rent this month. I have never made a hot check before... Will it cause me problems to stay in my apartment until I get paid???! I must trust God to provide a roof over my head.

* Because of distance, I have to gas up every other day to get to and from work. I am happy that the price of gasoline continues to go down. I must trust God to provide my car with gas to be able to get to work every day.

* I have not been able to find a thermos to take something warm to eat to work, but that may be because I don't have the money to buy it right now. God knows what I need before I even ask. I will trust in Him to provide lunch. LOL

* I have eight cases so far, and those families are dependent on me to help them. This week, I hope to learn as much as I can about my job so that I do not have to depend on the knowledge of the other girls to get my job done.

* I was hired, because my bosses believe that I will be able to do this job. That means that there should be no doubt in my head that I will pass probation. God opened this door of opportunity for me. I must trust that what God has opened for me cannot be closed by a mere human being.

XX

P.S... Grrr @ computer problems right now... unable to visit your journals... will keep trying while I am trapped in the wash cycle...

The Mask

Honor thy father and thy mother... Oh, Lord, why did you give me such a hard commandment to keep?!

I haven't finished reciting my rosary... I kneel on my knees for hours and pray for my son... You would never know that I am talking about the same person...

She came to my door and banged on it hard, as if she was mad. What did I do? If she didn't want me to drive her, she should have gone by herself or gotten on the bus... She stomped down the stairs, as I followed behind. When she got in the car, she quickly pushed down the button that turns the air off... and all the way up, she criticized people and told me five times that I am fat... that I need to push myself away from food... that I need to put on some hiking boots and climb a mountain somewhere... the fat talk just goes on and on...

Why is she so critical? Why is she so hateful? She says that is the way Grandfather was, but he was never like that. She criticizes everyone except the people she likes. She is always so hateful towards me, but as long as there is no one to witness it, she keeps that hatred a secret between us...

So I mention that I don't believe in being angry, that there should be more forgiveness in the world. She snaps back that she does believe in being angry, because it is a way to honor your parents and your ancestors. She says I don't honor my father because I don't have a flagpole with a flag in front of my house which is funny because she has a house but doesn't have a flagpole. I live in an apartment. I am not allowed to do that...

On the way back, it was no different. I drove all the way back with no air. She continued to sound mad at me... She continued to tell me that I am fat... She continued to say stupid things like only boys are special because they carry the seed...

It's funny how she is so different around other people. What have I done that makes her hate me so much?

How can she continue to hide behind the mask of making people think that she is a servant of God? I just don't get it...

XX

Thanksgiving 2008

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! I have no clue as to why my computer is running slower than a snail today... but it happens! LOL...
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I know it is a dangerous time to travel, but I am playing chauffer today. I am driving Mother to spend time with family for the Thanksgiving holiday, so I will be driving six hours to get us there today. She talks all the way and she is a back-seat driver, so wish me luck! LOL... Hopefully, we should be back by Sunday.
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Remember always that being grateful should be a part of EVERY day.
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Wishing you a wonderful day!
XX

P.S... We are going into the New Moon... time for beginning special projects...

I have made three friends at work, maybe four. Unfortunately, they are not the ones I share an office with. The girls in my office are already whispering behind my back or should I say in front of my face? The skinny girl on the other side of the building comes into our office to make them laugh, but she never looks at me in the face... I don't want to have problems at work. The bossmen still have serious faces. I see them frequently talking alone to each other in the hall and on campus.. makes me wonder what is going on... but yesterday, the boss's secretary finally brought my letter of acceptance to me for me to sign... It is weird that they continue to do things backwards. They still haven't gotten my fingerprints or taken my picture for the ID, but I guess that will happen when they are ready. LOL

Pocahontas Thanksgiving (SAC)

Today, I found out that I will not get my first paycheck until December 15, so I am trying to figure out how I will pay the December rent. Also, because of the distance to work, I have had to fill my gas tank every other day, so I will still need gas money. grrrr

I must continue to TRUST in the Lord to provide......

XX

P.S.

Does anyone have a Family Tree chart? If so, if I have great grandparents, what are their children to me? How are we related?

I Join The Rat Race...

I started my new job on Monday, but no one told me to wear pants for training... I thought training would be about the job and what to expect, but it was about how to handle yourself with angry-aggressive clients, so it was pretty physical. The training continued into the next morning, too. We learned how to get out of different kinds of holds and how to contain an aggressive client... So on Monday, I felt overdressed, and on Tuesday, I felt underdressed! LOL...


Everyday of this week, I suffered through anxiety, wondering if they are going to keep me and if I am learning things fast enough. It takes me an hour's drive to get to work, and I get home in the dark, so it has been hard on my wallet and hard to wake up so early... The anxiety has made it difficult to sleep at night and one day I went to sleep at 8 p.m. & woke up late. All in all, I am very exhausted!

There is a refrigerator, but there is no break room & no vending machines. That means that I will not be able to diet, and I hate sandwiches, because cold food doesn't fill me up... so I am always hungry...... grrrrrrrr.......

I am working at a children's shelter as a case manager. I share a room with two other girls, whom I will refer to M and P... The girls sit at a "desk" table with no drawers, a telephone, and a small filing cabinet. I am sitting at a table with no computer or telephone and only a black pen and a red pen. That means I am feeling isolated and that also means that I will have to do all of my paperwork manually until I get a computer. The boss man says I will have the same setup as the girls, but the girls say it takes a good while to receive things after they have been ordered.

Because we work with classified files, we have to clean our own office. Right now, there are spider webs everywhere, which means that the office has not been cleaned since they opened or before that! LOL... That may also be the reason why we are always sneezing.

There are plans for the room to be painted, and they are looking to hire two more people to share our room, which also worries me, because the census has gone down 50% within November alone and I have only been there a week. There are also plans for partitions, so I think the room will be very crowded when all this happens... M was hoping for the bigger room next door to us, so we can have a sofa in there for when the sponsors come to visit the kids, but I think the boss man has other plans for the bigger room...

There are many legal documents, we will be doing security clearances and collecting evidence, and there is so much to memorize and learn... Training with the girls has been a bit difficult, because they start telling me things when they are doing them instead of training me from beginning to end... That means that I have bits and pieces of the middle and the end, etc, so I am way confused! LOL...

Also, the boss man has not had a happy face this week, so I have been worried about that, but it turns out that the girls made some mistakes and a file was missing all week... I have been warned that he does not like mistakes. Fortunately, the look on his face was not about me...

Also... yesterday (Friday), I was introduced to the kids, so that means that I made it to the end of the week. Yay! BUT... without notice, I had to make a speech in front of them in Spanish, Yikes! Almost everything I will have to do will be in Spanish, lots of new words I will have to use that we don't usually use in our everyday Spanish language. Yikes!!

I was included in the meeting where we discussed the three-day week next week...so hopefully, I will be there next week, too, and I will get my first mini-break for Thanksgiving day and the day after Thanksgiving.

I have never been so happy to see a week end. OMG @ this has surely been a week that tested ALL of my emotions!! LOL... I hope next week I will be able to relax and feel more confident! LOL

XX

Climbing the Ladder

LOL @ the majority is still asking if I got a job. I guess everyone missed the entry... It happens...

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I am not sure if I have a job... The man who hired me is doing things backwards. Just last week, he was asking me for references (after he had already told me that I start work on November 17)... But I am not going to question this... I am just going to show up for work tomorrow... After all, the worst he can do is ask me to go home. LOL...

.

I think the man who encouraged this man to hire me was the man in my dream. Remember? My dream suggested that I was going to get hired by a man... I am thrilled about that, because all the women I have worked for have been exactly like Miranda Priestly... (bosses from hell) LOL...

There have been two films that have caught my eye in the last few years... "Girl With a Pearl Earring" and "The Devil Wears Prada"... mostly because these were professions that I originally dreamed of going into... I don't know if I was fortunate that life took me in a different direction... or not... It may have been to protect me from the hardships and cruelty of art and fashion design.... or from having to live in a big city far away from my family... or maybe because God felt that I would find life more rewarding by helping people... Only God knows why He does things the way He does. Whatever His reasons, it is not my place to question them...

I spent most of Saturday watching "The Devil Wears Prada"... mostly studying the fashions and commentaries, really... the colors and the combination of colors... Looks as if the only bright color used was red and it was only in accessories... a pair of gloves, a belt, a pair of shoes, outerwear... The rest of the colors were neutrals in black, brown, beige, winter white, black, black, and more black... As Vera Wang says: just a little touch of surprise... Most people wear black, because it is slimming... I wear black, because it is elegant and chic and because most of the fashion designers use it a lot... but black is also very easy to match and "mix and match," so it is also very economical.

The wardrobe strategy in the movie helps me to rethink the clothes in my closet. It makes it easier to decide which clothes to keep and which clothes to donate to charity. I have written down on paper what combinations I will be wearing this week, so that it will be easier and faster to get dressed in the morning and so that I don't end up wearing black everyday... but especially because it will take me at least an hour to drive to work everyday so getting dressed quickly will be crucial. Thank God for the time change, although I may end up getting home in the dark... As expected, the movie mentioned that the shoes are what makes or breaks the outfit... I am so worried about my back, my feet and my ankles making it through the week, so I continue to pray a lot for the improved health of my body...

At mass, the priest always prays for our protecton from anxiety... I always smile to myself, every time I hear it, but ever since the full moon, I have been eating like crazy, because I have been so nervous... There goes the Moon diet! LOL... but the dieting days continue until the New Moon, so maybe I can manage to get myself back on track... I keep telling myself to stop being so nervous... My scale no longer works and I cannot find a battery to fit it anywhere, but someway, somehow, I have managed to carve an inch off my waistline.... Oh, so happy about that!

XX