Monday, November 3, 2008

Monday Funny

Happy Bunny


SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

MY DAUGHTER'S FIRST JOKE: To prove she wasn't chicken!

p.s... Did you notice that most of the comments said the chicken was a he? Only a rooster is a he. LOL

Some of you may have noticed that I have not given my political views about this election. Yes, I have them. LOL... It's just that some of my readers keep trying to convince me to vote for the person they want to vote for.

The way I see it, I am amazed at how this election is making everybody come out of the woodwork! Hooray at how America is allowing their voices to be heard.

P.S.S... lol... It is time to start making Thanksgiving tags. If anyone has a scrap kit of American Indian elements, beads, feathers, tubes of live pilgrims & Indians (not cartoons), let me know.


It's Just Me ~ Katie! said...

Amazing - Hoping your day treats you well. Take care and have fun,

Dannelle said...

My chicken is in the oven, she didn't make it across the road. You are as crazy as me and that's a good thing, at least I think so- lol. Dannelle

Senorita said...

Haha, this is hilarious ! I am sorry about the word verification. I just don't know how to remove it :(

Lainey Laine said...

The Dr Seuss one is my favourite of all. Laine xx

Joyce said...

We have a saying here...the chicken crossed the road to show the possum it could be done. Lot's of road kill in them thar hills. lol.
Hugs, Joyce

Coelha :B said...

Oh this is funny! :) Thanks for sharing! Julie

ADM DESIGN'S said...

LOL this funny, thanks for the laughs

ELLIE said...

now that was funny!!!!!!!!!

Juli said...

too alway such beautiful and creative to come and read and see whats new....Juli

~Gem~ said...

OMgosh! this really cracked me up! just so, so funny! I laughed at evey single one, my faves are--Palin's, Obama's, Bush', Al's, Oprah!! :-D.. Lennon, Enstein, Gate's, Sander's!! (that was the GREAT one! LOL!!) and of course, we can't leave Dr.
Seuss out!

oh, gosh..LOL!
Gem :D