Monday, October 13, 2008

Hang Around for a Spell

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:::Snag or Tag:::


I cannot deny that I am feeling a bit anxious this morning. My unemployment was short-lived to only cover the summer months. I thank the Lord that I am economical and I have spent my money wisely, especially since I do not know what lies ahead.

That wise decision helped me to pay the rent in September and October, but it is two weeks until November, and here I am... still without a job... counting my pennies to see how much money I have left to work with and how long it will last. I am right back where I was in January...

I keep trying to be as economical as I can with my phone and electricity. All of the lightbulbs in my apartment have been changed to 40 watt, except for the one in the kitchen, because I cannot reach it.

The weather in the Valley continues to be so hot and the heat makes it difficult to sleep at night. I keep praying for cooler days but every day is just another hot day. In the meantime, I continue to wear as little as possible when I am in my apartment in order to keep my body temperature as cool as I can. I take a quick one or two minute cold shower during the hottest part of the day and another one before I go to bed so that I can sleep at night.

My grocery list continues to be as modest as possible. I continue to make tortillas to stretch my grocery dollar. Once in awhile, I treat myself to a $1 cheeseburger, but my body wants to eat things that are outside my norm.

As for gasoline, the prices appear to be going down at the pump, but I continue to limit the places where I have to go, and if it is not absolutely necessary for me to be there, I don't go.

The biggest chunk that comes out of my pocket is the rent... I continue to pay by the month instead of signing a lease, which hurts because it is more expensive, but I don't want to be caught not being able to fulfill my lease. After all, there is no income coming into my life, not even the pennies I use to find on the street... Lord, I don't even want to think about having to put my things into storage or the possibility of having to go into a shelter. Even if I go to a shelter, they only give you 30 days...

The last time I went through this, I asked Mother if I could come to stay with her until I could get back on my feet. She said no, and my daughter and I were homeless for two years... If she should say yes now, her home is full of mold, there are problems with plumbing and electricity, and there is no room for me, because she lives in a very little house that is over-crowded with her things, because she has no closets.

It is amazing the things that we can accumulate in ten years! I continue to sort through boxes, trying to see what I can part with so that I won't have as much stuff to transfer to wherever the Lord leads me... be it to a new environment, a new job, or to put it into storage until I can find a job.

Parting with some of my things is difficult, but I keep reminding myself that I must be generous with the things that I choose to give away. They have served me well these past ten years, but putting them into someone else's hands will help to brighten someone else's life... and it will help to pave the way for new opportunities in my own life.

These days I find myself having to fight against feeling so discouraged. I have so much to offer, Lord. Why do I keep on being over-looked? Finding a job has taken me so much longer than I expected. This year is almost over, and I am still without a job. Still, I try to hold on to the thought that God is never late.

The moon is 98% full. I am looking forward to taking a moonlit walk with God this evening.

XX

16 comments:

MISSY said...

Winivere, I used to read your Blog regularly on AOL way earlier in the year. I thought you had found a job? What happened?

*M*

Emmi said...

Sending hugs & prayers you way.

Louise *Star Dust* said...

As I read your entry my heart felt so much for you. I do not know you but through your words I can feel your faith. You are what they truly call a survivor, a fighter. Don't stop that positive outlook and know that God does have a plan. Peace & Love!

Missie said...

I've only gotten to know you recently so I don't know to much of your background but what about state assitance? yes, I'm talking welfare. I think most states have emergency status where you get money right away if you need it. My prayers are with you. If you lived near me, I'd put you and your daughter up in my rec-room until you could get on your feet.

Chrissie said...

Win,
I'm so sorry you're going through this again. You should at least go sign up for food stamps so you'll have food until you can find a job. I know they'll give you emergency stuff because my friend lost her job and had two children to feed and they gave it to her right away. You don't have to have children. They help single people too. That will give you the money to save to pay for your rent. I will pray that something comes along very soon so you don't loose your home. I'm sorry that your mother is no help to you. I would never be able to tell my daughter and grandchild they couldn't live with me. I don't understand that.
Take care, Chrissie

Kath said...

Hi Win,So sorry to read you are back to square one again.I hate when people have to struggle like this oh! how I wish I could help everyone.I got kicked offline friday by AOL and have only just got back online today Monday pm..So sorry I havn't been by only just getting the run of the blogging thing.I pray things look up for you soon.Look after yourself.Love th egraphics in your Blog.Take Care God Bless Kath

Dannelle said...

Ok, now I'm ticked. You need help and other people who really don't- get it or take it. You should get the food stamps or anything else until you get your prayers answered. Darn, girl, you are so nice, not to mention talented, I can't stand you hurting so. Love and Hugs and blessings too! Dannelle

Chris/cacklinrosie101 said...

Wini, have you applied for welfare like Missie said? Really, you need some help so you don't stress so much. You've paid your dues. I keep praying that the job will come through for you. I have no clue why the Lord is testing you like this but there has to be a reason. Love ya! (That is an awesome tag, girl!)

Cathy said...

What an amazing time you've had in life so far! And more to come, seems you actually get stronger w/o realizing it? Nov will take care of itself u'll see. Haven't u always made sure u were protected? Such strength, I envy ur ability to tap into it Winivere. Special people are always easy to spot, they have a kind of light even in their words. So I'm not worried for u or about u I've seen that light before. Carry on.
http://cathy-daretothink.blogspot.com/

It's Just Me ~ Katie! said...

This seems to be a season that has come to test our strength. I would like to help, if nothing more than to put a little something in your pocket to ease some of the stress. Please email me: ktkamanski@yahoo.com. My thoughts and prayers shall go up for some kind of comfort and relief. Take care of you my friend,
Katie

ELLIE said...

PLEASE know that major prayers are being said for you - I just know something great is coming for you - keep strong in your faith!
-Ellie

Sugar said...

i feel for you, my son has been out of work (only his parttime 2 day a week job) for a yr 1/2. this economy doesn't help...so many people looking for work!
saying a prayer for you.
have a nice week.
huggies...

Lisa said...

Winny....omg! I absolutly love your blog! That would take me awhile to figure out. lol I'm still crawling around here. :o)
Lisa
http://lisa-pleasedonttakelifeforgranted.blogspot.com/

Rose said...

Oh Sweetie, I agree with Chrissie...sign up for food stamps and that alone will provide plenty of food.

It is my understanding that the President will extend the unemployment......so maybe you can get an additional 13 weeks. Check it out.

My prayers are with you.

Hugs, Rose

Kat said...

That tag scares me. Wish that you could find a job. I need help at my job but I am sure that you are over qualified. Anyway, have a great day and don't make such scary tags.

Lainey Laine said...

Winivere, Im so glad you found me because now Ive found you! I felt for you so much reading your entry - I do hope you get a job soon and that you are out of the situation you find yourself in now. Im sending hugs to you! Laine xxx