The Life of this Single Girl Continues...

Good Morning, my lovelies... Yes @ I am still alive! LOL...

@->---

As you probably predicted, my "job of little pay" took complete control over my Single Girl world of non-existance. Squeezing blood out of every penny takes great creativity, not to mention a lot of Self-Denial of the everyday things that you can only wish for. The year 2010 stormed into my life like an unbelievable twirling tornado that is almost at yet another year's end... and now, the vicious circle of my life has returned to the same crossroad where I was in January... Yes! My job of little pay with a little bit of security has come to an end and I am back to Square One: looking for work so that I can get unemployment. Unfortunately, it's as if I never left, because the only leads are the same high-turnover jobs that I applied for in January!

@->---

I have been in MK for three months, but the hours at my previous job kept getting in my way. My work hours were so unpredictable that I was unable to plan anything for my business, and sometimes, I was not able to attend the meetings... And yet, someway, somehow, my business was blessed with three MK customers. Last month two people in my unit won Mary Kay cars and I was witness to four people in my area who received Recognition and Achievement on stage at the Dallas MK Seminar. I KNOW the opportunity is there, because I have been a witness to it. I just need to make the efforts required to make it happen for me...

@->---

Although it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, I got people buzzing about my efforts to get to Seminar. My job ended on July 21 at 8:00 p.m. I got home a little after 8:30 p.m. I was still undecided about going to the three days left of Seminar, because the girl I was going to room with was going to Seminar in August instead of July, so I didn't have a place to stay. The registration was unrefundable. The bus ticket was unrefundable. What's a girl to do? You got it! At last minute, I decided that if there was no place for me to stay, I would go for a day... and if I got the burning desire to stay an extra day, I would sleep over at the bus station for one night to get an extra day of Seminar... So I quickly packed only what fit in a backpack and a large purse, called a friend to take me to the bus station, and was at the bus station by 10 p.m. The bus did not arrive in Dallas until 9:30 a.m. the next day. Sitting down on the bus all night bus paid it's consequences on my bad knee, and the first thing that happened when I got into Dallas was that my backpack came apart!!!!! But what was so wonderful was that the Convention Center was within walking distance! It was only about four blocks away. I registered, got my free products, went to the day's events, had to go to First Aid to get an icepack for my knee, but was able to watch the rest of the day's events through a big TV screen in the hall, because I was unable to go up and down the arena stairs. When I came in contact with my director, I discovered that she and two other directors separated from the group, because there were originally nine people in a suite. That meant that I had a place to stay and that I could stay for the rest of the Seminar. Breakfast was free at the hotel and Lunch was free. That helped, because I could eat some and save the non-perishables to eat at night. Seminar was wonderful... the most wonderful entertainment, great speakers, wonderful stories of Success, and regular ladies like you and me in beautiful evening gowns receiving honor, recognition, awards, tiaras and roses.

.

XX,

Winivere =.)

always KISS me goodnight:::

I am feeling a little blue today, knowing that 2010 is almost heading into summer... I am blue, because although I bring myself to the point of exhaustion, spinning my wheels with the busy-ness of everyday life, my progress continues to stand still and I continue to lose money working at a job that pays only half what I used to make... I do not regret leaving my previous job, but I do wish that the efforts I make in my current job would bring at least a little bit of reward...

I am grateful that I have a job, even if it is a temporary job, but my mind and my body have become so exhausted that not even sleep brings renewal or relief... and what's worse is that the color of my eyes has gone from brown to red... Good grief @ who was the nut who invented money and did he hoard it all for himself?!

As a single person, my struggles are usually about money, because single people have no other choice but to work in order to survive... If you can't make the money, you learn to do without... but my biggest struggle is that I want to do more than just exist!

Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if there had been an encouraging person in my life to always kiss me goodnight... Unloved children with no support learn to comfort themselves with their own words and with their own arms... and so, I put my arms around myself once more, and tell myself that everything will work out for the best...

::Le Update::

Hi. I am still here, but because of technical problems, I won't be able to post a tag. (sorry) They changed my schedule from 12:30 to 9:00 at work, so my eyes look like kermit. I have not been able to catch up with sleep with all of the time changes at work. Grrr...

I am still trying to get started with my Mary Kay business. I  received my starter kit and I have a lead for my first party. I was able to witness my director host a party, but she just reads what is on the flipchart. I want to incorporate some of my ideas to make it more fun and to make people want to share the experience with their friends! 

XOXO

::HAPPY EASTER::

I was late to work on Tuesday, because I had a torn up flat tire.  My car got me about a mile away from work, but no one at work wanted to help me to fix the tire. After work, I got sunburned and I got blisters on the bottom of my feet from walking all the way to my car. Through prayer, God sent me a nice young man to change my tire. He lay there under my car, getting himself dirty, but not one word of complaint came from his mouth. He was only focused on the task at hand. What a wonderful young man... I pray that God will reward him greatly for his kindness. 

When I got to Wal-Mart, I was surprised to discover that I didn't have one bad tire. I had three!!!  Proof once again that God has taking care of me! What if I had blown out more than one tire on the road?! Because the following day was payday, I purchased two tires... To my dismay, I was only paid for three days instead of five... I don't know what happened, but a lot of people were only paid part of their paycheck. Makes me sad...

Good Friday is the day that I died, but it is also a reminder that I was given a second chance at life. When I am continuously failing, it is so easy to forget about my many accomplishments in life... I have done a lot in my lifetime, but when I interview, I am not getting that across... mostly because the interviewers are not asking the right questions... How can I bring forth my worth?! or is it that they don't want to see it...

Last week, I read Mary Kay's biography. I could not put the book down. I read it all the way through within hours... It is amazing how one woman managed to change the world...

I don't know about you, but I came into 2010 thinking of this year as a year of Dreams... With the nightmare of last year's job, I vowed that this year has to be different... My daughter making it into the Fashion Designer world made me realize that my Dream never died... It only skipped a generation...

Yes, Good Friday is always my day of Reflection... I am grateful that I have a job and the job that I have allows me the freedom to take time off if I want, although I don't get paid for any time off, but the job I am in is not enough to realize my dreams because it doesn't pay enough... Still, it provides me with some money, so I have decided to supplement it by taking a risk. I am now officially a Mary Kay consultant. If you are in need of any Mary Kay products, let me know.

::Spring Fling::

Last month, I was surprised to see a lady at Wal-Mart wearing a Mary Kay jacket. OMG @ it's a pretty good way to advertise... so she had me fill out some survey and I got a free lipstick. That next Monday, I went in as a guest to one of their meetings. They have been having demonstrations on how to have parties focusing on only a few products at a time. 

One night they had a Lucious Lips meeting. Another night, they had a Pajama Party meeting with a Pajama outfit contest... and of course, I won that! LOL... I wore a black Tshirt with pink pajama bottoms, red Elmo slippers, fluffy pink boa, tiara, hair up in pigtails with two pink curlers, a blankie, and my guest was my teddy-bear Fonzi. LOL...  I won first place (a little bag of some Mary Kay samples). 

Last Monday, some people dressed up in this Spring's tropical trends and accessories. Some of the fashions were from Stein Mart, but most were things in people's closets that were jazzed up with new tropical glass and wood jewelry and tropical straw purses. The girls came up one at a time so that the Director could do their makeup with Mary Kay makeup. It was so much fun!

This Monday, they want all of us to dress up in something tropical. I found this fabulous material in green and turquoise on a brown background, so I will be making a simple sundress without a pattern... unless if it turns out to be a skirt...  I hope I bought enough material. LOL

As previously mentioned, I am working as a Personnel Clerk with the United States Census Bureau for only $8.00 an hour. The reason why I took this position instead of the higher paying jobs is because the higher paying jobs do not last very long. After everyone is counted, there is still clerical stuff to do, so this job can extend months longer... but it is NOT enough to pay my rent, car, car insurance, utilities, gasoline, etc, and groceries. 

I am enjoying going to the Mary Kay meetings, even if I am NOT a consultant. I am thinking about going into the Mary Kay business, but I am kind of scared, because I don't know that many people. Still, it is only $100 for the starter kit. That is not a big investment at all for something that might change my life... Plus, you get to discount utilities, phone, mileage, etc., when you do your taxes... Would this be a good opportunity for me?

::Le Update::

OMG @ has it been since Valentine's day?!! So much has happened since then...

As previously mentioned, I was supposed to start working for the Census on February 15, but when I went, they gave me the day off, because I was the only one who showed up for training. I started working for the Census as an Administrative Clerk for only $8.00 an hour on February 16. That's half what I used to make. Grrr... but after my last job, my Spirit was completely destroyed!  I have to try to rebuild my self-confidence.

On February 17, I fell at work. I was coming in the front door during my lunch break, but a man and a woman were talking behind the door. The woman moved but she didn't move her little suitcase. and I didn't see it. I fell over the suitcase and my face almost landed in the man's shoes.  That is no way to fall for a man, even if he IS single!!! I broke my fall with my right knee and my right hand. Oddly enough, the woman never said she was sorry and she never bothered to try to help me up. I continued to work the rest of the day. 

On February 18, I was at the hospital all day... almost eight hours. They took X-rays, gave me some pain killer, gave me a knee stabilizer that is too long for my leg and some crutches. The doctors said they didn't expect to see someone so young-looking compared to the age listed on my chart. LOL... Under doctor's orders, I did not return to work until Monday. That was such a painful weekend, especially difficult getting from one room to the next. I'd finally get to the kitchen when my bladder would yell at me to go somewhere else! Grrr @ why didn't you speak up when I was closer to the bathroom?!# I kept asking everyone how do you get around on crutches?! No one seemed to give me an answer. I think I ended up hurting my healthy leg from trying to get around on those crutches.  Living in an upstairs apartment only adds to the injury.

Working that week was hard. I popped a lot of Tylenol to get through the days, but I still managed to get in 39.5 hours that week. The following week, I worked almost 50 hours... Oh, so tired...  and no time to wash underwear! I had to go buy some more, because if I am in another accident, I don't want to scare the paramedics!!! ... My knee and my hand are still in pain, but I have to keep on going...

To add to my torment, the Unemployment people kept calling me, for about two weeks, different people, all asking the same questions about my fall. I had to send paperwork to the Workmen's comp people... All kinds of people ringing my phone tunes. OMGG... STRESS... To top it off, I have lost my W2. I have to find it so I can do my taxes... Grrr...

I was disappointed at my job when I first started because all I was doing was filing. When they put me on the phones to hire people, they were impressed with me, because I hired 26 people in 1-1/2 days, so I became the "star." I am glad that the bosses see me in a good light. Two of the girls have been gossiping about everybody and whispering. I hate whispering. They also made comments to make me feel bad. One of them keeps saying my name in Spanish. I corrected her in a nice way, but she didn't like it that I spoke up for myself. She said: What? Are you white?!... I was offended because I was singled out... What about Adam? What about Pat? Why do they insist on changing mine but not theirs?! I told her that according to my birth certificate, it does say that I am white. Those two girls continued to be rude, slamming the phone, slamming down files right beside me, so I told on them., because they make me feel uncomfortable. Whenever I am around bullies at any job, I usually just keep quiet and keep to myself, but that hasn't worked for me, so this time, I told on the girls and moved to a different spot. Was that wrong? What is the proper thing to do when you are around bullies at work? 

:: Be My Valentine ::

Happy Valentine's Day! Wish I had some flowers and candy! LOL...

I had an Interview last Thursday. The woman was very young and she had her nails made up for Valentine's Day... I don't know how it went, because it went by FASTer than I can blink! I did leave a thank you note, though... I hope it helps...

On Saturday, I donated a car load of stuff for them to make money for the Children's Home. That stirred some good KARMA, because I was eXtremely surprised to receive a phone call from the Census Bureau. They want me to start on Monday. The job pays half as much as I used to make. If I am on unemployment, how does that work? I will probably have to continue my job searches, which I can do, but what if I am called to Interview? 

XX

:::Le PASSION:::

Le day of amore is right around the corner... Once again, I have let LIFE get in my way...  Usually that happens when I am IN a job. Right now, I have NO job, but looking for a job is my NEW job... so once again, I am on the edge of allowing or not allowing LIFE to pass me by... Did I catch it in the nick of time?? Well, it is NOT V-day yet, but once again, I have failed to put TIME into looking for a boyfriend, so it is pretty much the same as almost missing it... 

I know some women settle for men just because they are good for them... someone who can be a good friend, someone who can be faithful, someone who cares for them...  I have been in relationships with men who were not good for me... but it is hard for me to imagine being with someone if there is no PASSION in the relationship... Am I more willing to be in a relationship with a man who is not good for me than to be in a relationship where there is no PASSION?... Good question...

Right now, I am in a relationship with a man who is good for me, but the relationship has not gone anywhere in years... He is a good friend, but I cannot say that we are a couple, because I have never been attracted to him that way... He has a lot of good qualities... more than are on my list of "must have" qualities, but what cuts me off the most is his mouth. He seems too comfortable in our relationship that he always says things that he shouldn't... total turn-off! Is it possible to create PASSION where there is no CHEMISTRY?!... Yawn...

I have been without a boyfriend since my divorce in 1997... and I waited 13 years to find that one! OMG @ this year will hit another 13 years mark... I better keep my eyes open...

XX

::Le Update::

No blog dayz... Tell me what's a-happening?!#@

My last entry left me totally speechless & surprised... My daughter is designing fashion and putting on fashion shows... My childhood dream has become my child's reality... So proud of her...

There have been some things to write about, but I haven't been in the mood for blogging or creating tags lately... 

Jencarlos showed up in the Valley. The little boy has grown up totally HOT... Refer to pic via prior entry... Some overweight girl won a kiss. He kissed her on the mouth once, but when she tried to take advantage via full tongue, he backed off. LOL @ I thought that was funny.

The job search is especially dry this week, and it is already Wednesday... I have been reviewing jobs I applied for in the past to see if there might be some job leads, but no... Where is that open door? Grrr @ I wish the job would just land in my lap without effort, as it has in the past... but the job search has become a full-time job, usually from six to eight hours a day, with little or no reward...

Being able to watch TV during daylight hours has opened my eyes to the way other people live... Judge Pirro says adults who don't work are more likely to get into trouble... Tyra Banks says there are women who have two Va-JJ's... What?!... 

Goes to prove that although work usually takes full control of my life, I haven't missed out on anything! LOL... Here's to finding a job that will bring more balance into my life... 

XX

D.R.E.A.M.S...

Today, I discovered that my dream was never destroyed... 

Today, I discovered that my dream only skipped a generation...

Today, I discovered that my dream has become my daughter's dream... 

Today, I discovered that my dream is now our dream... 

I smile... 

I cry... 

and my heart is at peace...

~ Winivere

::Cinnamon Never Tasted So Good::

This is the first dark-haired man to walk through my Journal... Canela is the Spanish word for Cinnamon. Did I mention that I love cinnamon? I love everything cinnamon, but this is a new cinnamon to love. (smile)

This is Jencarlos Canela, an actor and a singer. He is one of People Magazine's most beautiful people and he will be coming to our area soon to promote his new CD. Most of his pictures show him flaunting a five o'clock shadow with his hair down, but I am most attracted to him with a goatee and his hair slicked back in a ponytail. Unfortunately, I was not able to find any pictures of him like that...

The job that I interviewed for this week was supposed to start on Thursday. I wasn't called, so I guess I blew the interview... When that happens, all these things go through my head about where I went wrong... Although, I am somewhat relieved that I did not get the job because I really do not want to work 24/7 anymore. If I wanted to do that, I would apply for a job that pays more money...

I also think about my previous job and how my ex-boss wrote down things on paper to make me look as if I was behind when all of my documentation was up-to-date... I could have fought for my job and won, but I was too burned-out at being bullied and at having to drive to a job that is an hour away for the past 13 months...

The kind of work that I do is and will always be stressful. Going into another job only means I am putting myself back into the same pot of hot water... But God knows that I was unjustly let go, and He knows that the job and those She-Devils were draining the life out of me, and so, I believe that it was God that pulled me out of that bad situation and that it is God who will place me in a better place...

This week, I discovered that I am eligible for unemployment. It will not be much money, but any little bit helps. A friend of mine is a college professor, but he has two part-time jobs that do not equal 40 hours, so he is also looking for work. It is sad to know that in these times, a college education is not enough...

For some unknown reason, I have not been able to clean the living room, so yesterday, I rearranged the furniture. It's funny how something as simple as rearranging furniture will give you a boost. 

Excuse me while I prepare myself some Cinnamon toast... =.) 

::New Year Meme::

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I wrote up my boss. I spent the night in New York. I also went to Boston, and California.

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions from last year and will you make any for 2010?
I kept my resolutions the first six months of the year. The downfall came in June when I, unexpectedly, had to buy another car, and I was unable to go to Youth Leadership Camp. My job and the toxic people I worked with kept making me sick. Yes, I will make more resolutions this year, because I want to believe that nightmare is behind me! Here’s hoping for a much better job in the near future.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
YES! My daughter gave birth to Luciano Alfredo.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
The father of my children died. I cannot say that he was close to me, but my daughters took it hard.

5. What countries did you visit?
I cannot visit other countries, because I was not able to renew my passport in time. Grrr

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
To work with nice people at a job that is closer to home. To go to Youth Leadership Camp this summer. For my closet to reflect that I am involved in activities other than work.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory...and why?
There are several dates that should be etched upon my memory this year, but the main date is the date that I was finally liberated from my nightmare: December 15.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being able to hold on to my job as long as I did. Walking out of there, knowing that all of my documentation was up-to-date.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failure to document all the evil things the She-Devils did. Failure to remember that the walls have ears. Failure to find the number to the Labor Board. Failure to find another job before I was let go.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My job literally made me sick. I have never had as many sick days at any other job in my entire life. The worst injury, however, is that they crushed my Spirit. Fortunately, I will not allow anyone to keep me down.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I was sad to let go of Jones, but I am thankful that I was able to purchase another used car.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My daughter’s fashion designs were featured in a Fashion Show. One of her designs got a standing ovation. She was selected to make costumes for several plays. I am very proud of her.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex-bosses, but one day, their bad Karma will show up in the name of justice!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Most of my income goes to rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
When Luciano was finally able to go home. He was a premie and was born with complications.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
She Wolf - Shakira

17. Compared to last year, are you......
happier/sadder? SADDER...
thinner/fatter? FATTER...
richer/poorer? POORER

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I was only paid for 40 hours but I devoted many more hours that went unpaid. I cannot say that I wish I had worked less, because working more hours allowed me to Reunify many families… something that went unrecognized by my superiors but recognized by the kids. Unfortunately, the long hours kept me from having a personal life. I wish I had taken vacations. I wish I could have gone to Youth Leadership camp. I wish I had spent more time with friends and family.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Driving back and forth to a job that is an hour away.

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
I spent it with friends and family online. LOL

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Living in the Valley probably means that I will be single the rest of my life!

22. How many one-night stands?
I’m not that type of girl. Sometimes, I wish I was! LOL

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Betty La Fea

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I am not the type of person who hates people, but their unjust actions make me angry. I hope I can get over this feeling because I need to leave the past behind to be able to go forward.

25. What was the best book you read?
Who has time to read when you are so busy working?!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pandora … LOL

27. What did you want AND get?
New eyeglasses and contacts

28. What did you want and NOT get?
Dentist appointment

29. What was your favorite film of the year?
That’s hard to answer when you don’t even know what was showing. If there was free time in 2009, I spent it on sleep.

30. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
OMG @ I don’t even remember. I wish I could have spent it with my girls.

31. What ONE thing would have made your year immensely more satisfying?
The kind of sex that keeps a woman satisfied. LOL

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
My color-plan helped to keep me from wearing black all the time, but my closet needs clothes for activities other than work.

33. What kept you sane?
It must have been God, because there is no explanation for that question! LOL

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Richard Gere, Mario Cimarro

35. Whom did you miss?
My girls & their families & the kids at Youth Leadership camp

36 Who was the best new person you met?
My new grandson, Luciano.

37 Tell us a valuable life lesson that you learned in 2009.
Listen more. Talk less.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I will survive?!!

Let Your Light Shine

I have a Second Interview this afternoon for the job I interviewed for on December 18.  I am so nervous. My hair is all frizzy and I don't know what to wear... God, I hope I don't blow it. Prayers requested here...

XX

Welcome 2010!!!!!!!!!

I have never been so happy to see a year go! Goodbye 2009! Welcome 2010!!!

This year begins with a Blue Moon. Is that HOT or what?! Must must must go for a moonlit walk tonight!!!

I am trying to keep up with the New Year superstitions. I am wearing my red bra and panties and I have even gone a step further by wearing a red shirt and a red headband! LOL... I cut up whatever I needed to cut up last night so I wouldn't have to use knives or scissors. Next year I will have to do more chopping because I am craving some pico de gallo! LOL...The hardest part has been not to wash anything because my dishes are piling up. Next year I will have to stick to finger foods! LOL... Yesterday, I paid my bills and sent them off. I bought grapes, salt, bread, wine but left the bread and salt in the car to bring into my home this morning. I should have bought two bottles of wine: one to celebrate the New Year and one to bring in with the bread and salt. Oh well, we learn by doing...

I am still thinking about my Resolutions...

Happy New Year! Here's to an exceptional year!

XX