Sunday, March 8, 2009

:::Saying Goodbye:::



What made us good friends ~ you and I?

I think I know the reason why...

The best in me and the best in you...

Held each other because they knew...

That always and always since time began...

Our being friends was part of God's plan...

This is a poem that I wrote in High School... One of my classmates liked it and asked me for it. I wish I had not been stupid enough to give it to him, because years later, he published it and did not give me credit for it! OMGG @ that is NOT the only time that I have written something that I have not been given credit for....

But as you can see, I still remember the poem, word for word... And it seems only fitting that I should dedicate it to Tidbit in this post...

When I left my job with the Mentally Ill, a client who looks like Patrick Dempsey gave me a male cockatiel. He mowed yards for a living, and before I left, he said that he wanted to take me to lunch. I can only imagine his sacrifice to cut yards just to take me to lunch, but he insisted and said that it meant a lot to him to do that for me. Billy was one of my favorite clients. It was hard to say goodbye ~ for both of us. The last thing he told me was to take care of his bird...

The male cockatiel loved to dance and he would always whistle at me when I would get dressed in the morning, so I named him Mad Max Over the Caged Dome...

Another client raised cockatiels. I am ashamed to say that I don't remember her name, but she was the one who gave me Tidbit. Tidbit was a young bird. She was handfeed as a baby. She already had a name, so I didn't change it...

Tidbit and Max were always fighting, because Max wanted sex and Tidbit wasn't old enough to mate... But that didn't stop Max from being his usual cheerful fun self. Years passed and then all of a sudden, I hear this noise coming from the cage. They were having sex all of the time. OMG @ did they every take a break?! Well, it was about that time that Tidbit started to produce eggs. Max insisted that Tidbit should sit on the eggs, but she had never been a mother before, so she just thought he was being macho about it. They started fighting over who should sit on the eggs. One day before Thanksgiving, I found Max at the bottom of the cage. Tidbit had pecked him to death because he kept bothering her about sitting on the eggs... Fortunately, my daughter and my son-in-law came for a visit that year and my son-in-law took Max out of the apartment. Tidbit went into a deep depression. She wouldn't eat and she wouldn't drink water. She just sat on the eggs and was very sad. I had to take the eggs out and try to help her out of the depression. She survived, but now, she was a widow... It was sad for me when Max died, especially, because I had promised Billy that I would take care of him...

Tidbit has been my friend and my companion for over ten years. She always alerted me when someone was near the apartment and she was better than a fire alarm, too! She always let me know when she needed birdseed or water. Sometime she would sing pretty and other times, she would just make a lot of noise. LOL... Like Max, she was a character. She loved attention. Sometimes I would blow bubbles at her to catch her reaction. She was a fun bird. She brought me much joy and I will miss her terribly.

I do not know the mysteries of how Tidbit died, because she died in the feed tray with her body hanging over. It is a visual that I wish I could erase from my memory. Also, because I live alone, I had to take her out of my apartment by myself... That was so hard for me, because I didn't think I would be able to do it... I had to close the blanket over her cage and I took her to the trashbin, cage and all... I am feeling guilty about not being able to give her a burial, but without help, there is no way that I could have touched her dead body to put her into the ground... I feel sad to have to put a friend into the trash, because she was not trash at all. She was a treasure that I will remember always.

11 comments:

Lynne said...

I am so sorry for your loss, they sounded very dear to you. God Bless!

Estela said...

Win, your tribute to Max and Tidbit is so touching! They were both very well loved - it shows. I lost a pet dog named Max about 3 yrs ago after being his Mama for 8 yrs.

Losing a pet is never easy.

Be Strong! God is with you.

Estela

Sybil said...

Dear dear Win, I am so sorry about Tidbit (and MAx) but what a lovely tribute you gave them both. It is so hard when we feel guilty at not being able to do what we think we should do, ie being able to bury Tidbit..but I am sure you cared for her well when she was alive and that is what matters the very most.
I was reading Mary your journal and it remined her a bit about two litle birds she had Mr and Mrs. she called them...there too Mr took more of a liking to Mrs. than Mrs did to Mr. and unfortunatley both ended up fighting to death when Mary was on holiday...
So she feels for you too
Much Love Sybil xx

friedmsw said...

I am sorry for your loss. Your words are so eloquent. What a wonderful tribute!

Kath said...

Aww bless you Winivere I feel so sad you wern't able to bury your dear bird.You have looked after your pet well so feel no guilt at all.What a pity it is we have to lose ones we love.My youngest son has just lost there baby as they called him this week.There Dalmation.They have no children and we have all been upset so I know how you are feeling.Prayers you soon feel better.Take Care God Bless Kath xx

Mike said...

Very sad to hear. It's always hard to lose family.

just me said...

I am very sorry for your loss, it is hard to lose a good friend. I had cockatiels years ago, they are very special.
hugs, Barbara

Joyce said...

I'm so sorry Winivere. I know how hard it is to lose a pet (especially when you live alone). They are more than just an animal. They are your friend and companion. I'll help pray you through you sorrow.
Great Big Hugs GF, Joyce

Shadow said...

oh that is so so sad. we had lovebirds once, and after quite a couple of years of mating with no results, they finally had 2 eggs. and the mommy bird was so broody for the babies and the daddy wasn't the helping kind, she died of starvation 'cause she refused to leave the eggs. that made me terribly sad too.

ADM DESIGN'S said...

I am sorry for your loss, Losing a pet is never easy. Great tribute!

ADB said...

I am very late getting round to you, Winivere, but I am very sad to learn your bird has flown over the Rainbow Bridge. It is like losing a member of the family. Don't kick yourself at the manner of her disposal. You couldn't do it any other way.