FootNotes

Where do I start?! My blood pressure has been really high this week. On Monday, I had to call in SICK. Although I wasn't feeling well, I thought I needed to take advantage of my day off, so I tried to go get Jones' license plates. As it turned out, I was told I couldn't register him, because I had a lapse in insurance last year when I was without a job and had that big vehicle run into Jones. I was told that I would not be able to keep him, that I had to sell him. Sell him? OMG... Here it was already noon. I had wasted the entire morning trying to get him registered... I didn't have enough money to buy a car cash. All I had was the money that I was going to use to move... I didn't know if I could get credit... I just went in FAITH. I told God: I don't know where to look, Lord, but I need to buy another car today. Otherwise, how am I going to get to work? There are no buses in the Valley and I live an hour away from work. Car salesmen always try to steer you wrong. Please lead me towards someone who will provide me with what I need... Jones kept going past the first dealer we came across. I guess he knew where he was going. We stopped at the next dealer. I didn't even look at the prices. I automatically saw a silver car and a black car and assumed they must be the cheapest ones. When the salesman asked me what I was looking for, I told him I wanted something reliable and cheap and it had to have air. Apparently, I was right about the two cars, but I was surprised that the black car was cheaper than the silver car, because it looked nicer. Yes, I have a 2001 Chrysler Sebring. Yes, it was the black car... I actually cried when I had to say goodbye to Jones. It was like losing a good friend...

When I got home, I called my daughter, but she didn't answer. I tried calling the hospital and found her there. Luciano Alfredo came into the world on Monday morning, June 8, 2009, at 10:30 a.m. He is two months early. My daughter was out of it, because of the medications, but when I called later, she was panicky because they wouldn't allow her to see him. He was on an IV and hooked up to tubes. She was worried that he wouldn't know her or want her. She was upset that the nurses were not helping her to pump. Her milk was not flowing, so she was afraid that she would not be able to feed him. I tried to get her to calm down so her body would allow the milk to come, although it is hard to comfort your child when she is six hours away... It has been hard for me to concentrate on my work, so I am not doing so well. I am behind in my work big time. I hope I will be able to do better tomorrow, although I have asked for Friday off so I can go visit her and the baby over the weekend. I have a feeling that she will go home before the baby does, however... Last night she was finally allowed to see him. He is weighing only four pounds. He is very little. Today, he was able to latch on, although he was full when they brought him to her. Hopefully, he will have a better day tomorrow. I would hate for her to have to leave the hospital without him... That would be so sad...

The third thing that happened is that the Eye asked me to sit in for him at the administrative meeting because he had to conduct a training. At the meeting, the main boss said that he has an open door policy. I asked him if that was true. He asked me what I meant. I told him that we were told that if we talked to him, we would be written up. What is scary is that he asked me to put it in writing in an email... The program director showed up at the case management office and wrote on a piece of paper for me to write the email. I think it brough suspicion with my coworkers, because although I tried to write it, the one who is the Eye's right arm kept coming up to the copy machine because it is on my side of the room. I think she was trying to see what I was up to. I am frightened about what could happen. I am not a snitch, but it sounds to me as if the Eye is in trouble, because the program director says there is a reason why he is going to be a trainer instead of our supervisor. I was so nervous that I don't even remember what I wrote on the email but I hope it won't mess me up with the girls, because the Eye's right arm is always hinting that I am not going to have a job.

I had to go by the dealer's today to sign some papers. The dealer had gone with a different bank and got my payment down cheaper. Jones was there! His fender bender had been repaired and he had a bath. He already had a price tag on him. I was going to go see him, but one of the men had taken him on an errand. I told the dealer that I want him to go to a good home. He said that he will be a blessing for someone who will not be able to afford to get an expensive car. Yes, Jones was always dependable and he will be a wonderful blessing to someone else... I just pray that God will continue to bless me by helping me to pay off my new used car so that I can continue to be a blessing to others. I keep wondering what to name him, but I keep thinking of him as my Black Knight... Is that a good name for him? Any other suggestions?

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