Motherhood

As always, thank you so much for being my angels and keeping me in your prayers. It is a shame that I had to wait until I grew up to find you. I can only imagine how much better my life would have been if you had been in my life always...

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Children don't come with a manual. I thought I had done an excellent job at motherhood, considering that I had no blue print except for the type of mother that I didn't want to be. So naturally, it came as a complete shock to discover how upset my youngest daughter has been with me. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong except that I have not been there for her. Not been there for her? OMG @ where did that come from? The miles keep us apart, but surely, she knows that she is never far from me, because I carry her and her sister in my heart... always... So after several weeks of the silent treatment, she finally opened up and we are talking again... She's going through another high risk pregnancy... I worry a lot about her when she is pregnant, because it is hard to see all the pain and suffering that she goes through. She is healthy, but she has to have injections every week so she will not lose the baby. This week, she had to go to the hospital on Wednesday and she had to return to the hospital on Friday. She is supposed to go home today, but I don't think she's been released yet. Living most of my life without my mother, I never realized that when children grow up, they still need their mommy.

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I am anxious, because I am behind in my work. This week, I was not able to turn in any cases, because they have not been paying for us to be able to do the background checks. I had to give the ones I had to Spelling Bee, because The Eye made me. He said her case took priority, mostly because that kid has been a behavior problem lately. That means that I have had to sit on a case for two weeks, because I have not been able to do the background check. I was able to release three kids last week, which is good, but I'm back at the drawing board on Monday. They were supposed to give us 5 each but even Betty Crocker had to give her one. Grrr... On Friday, my Sponsor missed his flight, because The Eye made us have a meeting and he didn't care that the Sponsor and the Minor had to leave to buy the ticket. In my family, I have never been the favorite. I am experiencing the same thing at work.

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I had made up my mind that I was going to take the two bedroom apartment, but on the day after Labor Day, I forgot my wallet. On Wednesday, she told me to hold off, because the man might be moving out of the one-bedroom apartment... so I am still suffering through the heat in my old apartment. Still, I don't question the ways of the Lord... If he is holding off, it has to be for a reason.

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Jones has been ill, also. Yesterday, he needed a radiator flush, so that's where we were most of the day. The mechanic's wife was not there. To my surprise, he didn't charge me to flush the radiator...

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My body feels so tired... I have so much to do at home, but I am feeling too lazy for housework. All I have done so far is wash clothes. I hope I can get my energy up, but for now, my body just wants to rest...

The top tag is snaggable, but the bottom one is not. This is a tag I made from my daughter's pregnancy photograph. Luc is pronounced Luke. His name will be Luciano Alfredo. I love it! It's so Italian.

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