Sunday, April 12, 2009

-=REFLECTIONS=-

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Good Friday is always a reminder of the day I died. It is hard to believe that was 29 years ago. I only asked Him to keep me alive until my girls were prepared for life. To me, that meant after they received their education and were ready to face the world, but God continues to keep me on this earth. I do not know why I am still here. I only know that God still wants me here.
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So here I am, reflecting on my life 29 years later... Once was a time when I scratched my claws through life to better myself for the sake of my children. Once was a time when I would go through any sacrifice for them. My body was strong and my mind was alert... It was as if I was invincible... Somehow, I managed to get myself through college. Somehow I managed to juggle home, work, and school while trying to play both roles of mom and dad...
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As I read through this year's entries, I recognize that I continue to be stuck within the wheels of survival... With injury after injury, my body is no longer as strong and my mind is no longer as alert... My mind and my body are tired, but single people, like me, have no other choice but to keep working in order to continue to stay alive... I wish there was something that I could do to change having to be stuck at survival all the time. How can I get ahead?!#
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10 comments:

Lynne said...

I sure wish I had finished college when my mind was more alert, lol. I know it is not like it used to be and neither is my physical self. Hang in there, we'll make it! Blessings

Senorita said...

You have been through so much and I have so much respect for you. I think that you are an inspiration to many women. You've managed to survive on your own all this time, struggle after struggle.

I wish life would get easier for you, and I wish that you would find the man of your dreams. I really want that for you.

I think that the fact that you are alive and walking is a miracle.

Happy Easter :)

friedmsw said...

I am so glad to hear from you again. You sound like you are tired. Hope you will be able to get some good rest. You are still so strong!! You are an inspiration!

Sybil said...

You have not been alone during these years...have you...and HE will see you through whatever lies ahead of that I have no doubt..There is something ahead for you of that I have no doubt so hang on in there dear friend.
Love Sybil xx

LYN said...

YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO ME...

LORENZO said...

Keep on keeping on! You are doing more than survival, it is just hard for you to see. I did not realize that you had children, do they come to see you or is that a long story? Hope all is well, look forward to the spring and summer.

Myra said...

You are surviving, each and every single day that you breathe! I know it isn't easy to feel "stuck" taking one step forward and two steps back, but you are young and still finding your way. You are just where you need to be, lessons learned, character built...hang in there, you are special and inspiring!

james oh said...

I do understand the struggles you have had gone and I have so much respect for you. I know that you are a very strong and determined lady. You are not alone and He is inside you and He will assist you to overcome all challenges.please do pay me visit at http://liftyouup.blogspot.com and am pleased to link your blog so that your inspiring story can lift our visitors up as well. God bless you always,

Robin said...

But, you're right; God wants you here. You have the wisdom of perspective, too, knowing that this hellatious crap at your work will in time pass one way or the other (just hopefully, in a good and positive manner), and that you're still in survival mode. But, that's b/c of things you are not in control of. You are worthy and God wishes good things for you, I'm sure. No wonder you're so good at mentoring and caring for others:) (I would hope you'd be embraced (figuratively) at your work for your skills.) At least those who truly matter, such as the kids, know.

robinthebruce said...

love all your images and all the small images at the side,great blog very nice.