Sunday, May 31, 2009

Motherhood

Poem for Baby

As always, thank you so much for being my angels and keeping me in your prayers. It is a shame that I had to wait until I grew up to find you. I can only imagine how much better my life would have been if you had been in my life always...
* * *
Children don't come with a manual. I thought I had done an excellent job at motherhood, considering that I had no blue print except for the type of mother that I didn't want to be. So naturally, it came as a complete shock to discover how upset my youngest daughter has been with me. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong except that I have not been there for her. Not been there for her? OMG @ where did that come from? The miles keep us apart, but surely, she knows that she is never far from me, because I carry her and her sister in my heart... always... So after several weeks of the silent treatment, she finally opened up and we are talking again... She's going through another high risk pregnancy... I worry a lot about her when she is pregnant, because it is hard to see all the pain and suffering that she goes through. She is healthy, but she has to have injections every week so she will not lose the baby. This week, she had to go to the hospital on Wednesday and she had to return to the hospital on Friday. She is supposed to go home today, but I don't think she's been released yet. Living most of my life without my mother, I never realized that when children grow up, they still need their mommy.
* * *
I am anxious, because I am behind in my work. This week, I was not able to turn in any cases, because they have not been paying for us to be able to do the background checks. I had to give the ones I had to Spelling Bee, because The Eye made me. He said her case took priority, mostly because that kid has been a behavior problem lately. That means that I have had to sit on a case for two weeks, because I have not been able to do the background check. I was able to release three kids last week, which is good, but I'm back at the drawing board on Monday. They were supposed to give us 5 each but even Betty Crocker had to give her one. Grrr... On Friday, my Sponsor missed his flight, because The Eye made us have a meeting and he didn't care that the Sponsor and the Minor had to leave to buy the ticket. In my family, I have never been the favorite. I am experiencing the same thing at work.
* * *
I had made up my mind that I was going to take the two bedroom apartment, but on the day after Labor Day, I forgot my wallet. On Wednesday, she told me to hold off, because the man might be moving out of the one-bedroom apartment... so I am still suffering through the heat in my old apartment. Still, I don't question the ways of the Lord... If he is holding off, it has to be for a reason.
* * *
Jones has been ill, also. Yesterday, he needed a radiator flush, so that's where we were most of the day. The mechanic's wife was not there. To my surprise, he didn't charge me to flush the radiator...
* * *
My body feels so tired... I have so much to do at home, but I am feeling too lazy for housework. All I have done so far is wash clothes. I hope I can get my energy up, but for now, my body just wants to rest...

Luc

The top tag is snaggable, but the bottom one is not. This is a tag I made from my daughter's pregnancy photograph. Luc is pronounced Luke. His name will be Luciano Alfredo. I love it! It's so Italian.

XX

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Honor Their Sacrifice

USA


USA-Hero

In loving memory of all who sacrified their lives

so that we could be free, including my Daddy.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Update

Why is it that when one part of your life goes a little bit right, something else falls apart?!# Basically, I have been kicking butt at work. My original plan was to complete at least two cases per week, but Spelling Bee caught on to my game so now she is trying to complete two per week. That's why I have been focusing on three per week for the past two weeks!... My fast work is making them look bad, so the She-Devils have gotten off their butts instead of only doing the minimum on their cases... ha ha @ even Betty Crocker who has the brownest nose and thinks she is so perfect. I over-hear them saying the same words to their sponsors that I do. LOL... I see them surprised that I know the names of some of their kids. LOL... After all, I am the ONLY one who talks to the boys everyday instead of once a week...
@->----
I have a great relationship with my boys. They can see how hard I work for them... Unlike my co-workers, everything that I do is not for my own glory or to look good in front of my supervisors. Everything that I do is for the good of my boys and they know it... Several direct care workers have told me that many of the boys wish that I could be their case worker instead of Betty Crocker or Spelling Bee. Both of them have had boys that have run away. I hope I never have a boy that runs away. That would be really hard for me, to know that a boy didn't have enough faith in me to help him...
@->----
I am not sure, but I think that even the Eye has noticed the increase in my performance. One thing for sure is that the Eye is a jealous god! He told us that if we went above him, he will write us up and he doesn't want us to talk to any other people about our cases except for him. That's just stupid that he wants to be in so much control. I have seen that in women bosses, but a man boss? That's just wierd.
@->----
The thing that I am hurt about, I cannot write about right now. Thank God that I have work to drown myself in...
@->----
My best friend came down from Corpus Christi to visit with me on Saturday. We went to the outlet mall, and we shared a meal at Chili's. All I've got to say is that my feet hurt. LOL... But it was a good little escape...
@->----
My brother's truck is not working. Mother is all worried about him, as always, but especially now because of his truck, because he makes a living cutting lawns and doing landscaping. It's funny how she always tries to protect him and rescue him, even if he is 54 years old. LOL
@->----
What's even more funny is that she has ten acres, her house is a patchwork, and yet, there is not even room enough for her. All that property and all those rooms, but there is no room for anyone...
@->----
That got me to thinking about my apartment... God said that we are supposed to expand our tent... To save money, I have been renting a one-bedroom apartment. Perhaps the reason why I have not found an apartment is because I need to expand my tent... I know that it is more expensive, but I have wasted six months of thinking "what if." I have been abusing Jones, going back and forth to a job that is an hour away. I have been abusing my body by eating only what I can put into a refrigerator. Yes, I have made up my mind that I am going to put the deposit down on that two-bedroom townhouse. Somehow, I will sacrifice costs on other things so I can afford to live there. The one thing I was counting on, however, is for my brother to help me to move, and now, his truck is not working, so I will need to find an alternative way to move.
@->----
Deeply apologetic at falling behind on making tags. Will get to it asap.
@->----
Thanks for listening.
XX

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Friends

Friends

I am going through something hard to talk about right now, so I am just leaving a tag. As always, you may snag or I will tag for you. Thanks for being here.

XX

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Hello Smiley

eyelashes Monday was a Monday! I don't usually use an eyelash curler, and now I know why! Instead of curling my lashes, the eyelash curler took off a bunch of my lashes! Grrr.. I read up on how to get your eyelashes back & it is recommended to use petroleum jelly on your lashes before you go to sleep, so once again, I am forced to play the guinea pig of my dilemmas.

curlersSometimes, I put in a few electric curlers to give my hair a little lift, but on Monday morning, my curlers finally gave out! OMG @ they are REALLY old, so I know I will not be able to find some like them. Grrr...

PhotobucketI know other things happened that morning but my mind must have chosen to block them out! LOL... What I do remember is that it was very unusual for a cop to be traveling all the way from my home to my work. Yep! You heard right! So there was no way that I could have driven a little over the speed limit! Grr to the 3rd power...

envelopeWhen I got to work, I was able to complete one case to turn it in for approval... Yay!... but the airfare for the case from last week had not come in yet. Grrr... If the money came in on time, the plan was to get him on that plane on Thursday for him to be reunited with his family...

PhotobucketOn Tuesday, I was able to submit two more cases for approval, but the man who reviews them was out on vacation until Friday. Grrr.... LOL @ so many Grrs this week...

envelopeOn Wednesday, the family I was expecting the airfare money from called to tell me that the money order was returned because no one signed for it. Grrr @ the post office people never left us a note to tell us the letter was there and I know this because I checked the mail every day! Grrr...

eat Pac ManWednesday was the one year employment anniversary of one of the She-Devils that I work with, so I had to go out to eat with all the She-Devils. Grrr @ I was praying all day long over that! Of course, they only like to go to Mexican restaurants and there was really nothing on the menu that I wanted, so I tried the Spinach and Mushroom enchiladas. Yuk! Something I will never buy again... I just remained quiet and talked only when spoken to. Absolutely no bonding whatsoever there! They have missed their chances with me, because I have learned that they are people that I can never trust...

sleep smileyOn Thursday, the auditors showed up at 4:50 p.m. What the ?!!@#. We couldn't leave until almost 8 p.m. I didn't get home until almost 9 & you know I am on salary! Grrr...

Hug You Til You Get Here On Friday, a very angry man who had not seen his kid in 11 years insisted that he wanted to see his son. What the ?!!@# @ you abandoned your son 11 years ago. What's one more day of waiting?! EXPLAIN it to me, PLZ!!!!!!! Grrr @ I practically had to almost complete a case that takes about 2 weeks in four hours?! Grrr...

eyeglassesOn Saturday, I finally went to get an Eye exam, because I cannot super-glue my glasses any more! Grrr... When I got there, I was surprised to discover that I had not been there since 2005. What?!!!!!!! Four years ago?! No wonder I have been having problems with my glasses... I got a contact and an eyeglasses prescription, which was $85.00. OMG! So instead of getting, glasses, I decided to get contacts first. Another big expense but I had to order them, because they didn't have them in stock. Grrr...

Today is Sunday and I ate before I weighed in so I don't know if I lost any weight this week. Grrr... LOL @ I hope all the GRRs won't forward over into this week... When will it get better?!

XX
Winivere