Woman in the Glass Box

The Life of this Single Girl Continues...

2010-08-08T07:22:00.004-05:00

Good Morning, my lovelies... Yes @ I am still alive! LOL...

@->---

As you probably predicted, my "job of little pay" took complete control over my Single Girl world of non-existance. Squeezing blood out of every penny takes great creativity, not to mention a lot of Self-Denial of the everyday things that you can only wish for. The year 2010 stormed into my life like an unbelievable twirling tornado that is almost at yet another year's end... and now, the vicious circle of my life has returned to the same crossroad where I was in January... Yes! My job of little pay with a little bit of security has come to an end and I am back to Square One: looking for work so that I can get unemployment. Unfortunately, it's as if I never left, because the only leads are the same high-turnover jobs that I applied for in January!

@->---

I have been in MK for three months, but the hours at my previous job kept getting in my way. My work hours were so unpredictable that I was unable to plan anything for my business, and sometimes, I was not able to attend the meetings... And yet, someway, somehow, my business was blessed with three MK customers. Last month two people in my unit won Mary Kay cars and I was witness to four people in my area who received Recognition and Achievement on stage at the Dallas MK Seminar. I KNOW the opportunity is there, because I have been a witness to it. I just need to make the efforts required to make it happen for me...

@->---

Although it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, I got people buzzing about my efforts to get to Seminar. My job ended on July 21 at 8:00 p.m. I got home a little after 8:30 p.m. I was still undecided about going to the three days left of Seminar, because the girl I was going to room with was going to Seminar in August instead of July, so I didn't have a place to stay. The registration was unrefundable. The bus ticket was unrefundable. What's a girl to do? You got it! At last minute, I decided that if there was no place for me to stay, I would go for a day... and if I got the burning desire to stay an extra day, I would sleep over at the bus station for one night to get an extra day of Seminar... So I quickly packed only what fit in a backpack and a large purse, called a friend to take me to the bus station, and was at the bus station by 10 p.m. The bus did not arrive in Dallas until 9:30 a.m. the next day. Sitting down on the bus all night bus paid it's consequences on my bad knee, and the first thing that happened when I got into Dallas was that my backpack came apart!!!!! But what was so wonderful was that the Convention Center was within walking distance! It was only about four blocks away. I registered, got my free products, went to the day's events, had to go to First Aid to get an icepack for my knee, but was able to watch the rest of the day's events through a big TV screen in the hall, because I was unable to go up and down the arena stairs. When I came in contact with my director, I discovered that she and two other directors separated from the group, because there were originally nine people in a suite. That meant that I had a place to stay and that I could stay for the rest of the Seminar. Breakfast was free at the hotel and Lunch was free. That helped, because I could eat some and save the non-perishables to eat at night. Seminar was wonderful... the most wonderful entertainment, great speakers, wonderful stories of Success, and regular ladies like you and me in beautiful evening gowns receiving honor, recognition, awards, tiaras and roses.

XX,

Winivere =.)

always KISS me goodnight:::

2010-05-11T20:52:00.003-05:00

I am feeling a little blue today, knowing that 2010 is almost heading into summer... I am blue, because although I bring myself to the point of exhaustion, spinning my wheels with the busy-ness of everyday life, my progress continues to stand still and I continue to lose money working at a job that pays only half what I used to make... I do not regret leaving my previous job, but I do wish that the efforts I make in my current job would bring at least a little bit of reward...

I am grateful that I have a job, even if it is a temporary job, but my mind and my body have become so exhausted that not even sleep brings renewal or relief... and what's worse is that the color of my eyes has gone from brown to red... Good grief @ who was the nut who invented money and did he hoard it all for himself?!

As a single person, my struggles are usually about money, because single people have no other choice but to work in order to survive... If you can't make the money, you learn to do without... but my biggest struggle is that I want to do more than just exist!

Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if there had been an encouraging person in my life to always kiss me goodnight... Unloved children with no support learn to comfort themselves with their own words and with their own arms... and so, I put my arms around myself once more, and tell myself that everything will work out for the best...

::Le Update::

2010-04-18T18:29:00.003-05:00

Hi. I am still here, but because of technical problems, I won't be able to post a tag. (sorry) They changed my schedule from 12:30 to 9:00 at work, so my eyes look like kermit. I have not been able to catch up with sleep with all of the time changes at work. Grrr...

I am still trying to get started with my Mary Kay business. I received my starter kit and I have a lead for my first party. I was able to witness my director host a party, but she just reads what is on the flipchart. I want to incorporate some of my ideas to make it more fun and to make people want to share the experience with their friends!

XOXO

::HAPPY EASTER::

2010-04-04T19:25:00.002-05:00

I was late to work on Tuesday, because I had a torn up flat tire. My car got me about a mile away from work, but no one at work wanted to help me to fix the tire. After work, I got sunburned and I got blisters on the bottom of my feet from walking all the way to my car. Through prayer, God sent me a nice young man to change my tire. He lay there under my car, getting himself dirty, but not one word of complaint came from his mouth. He was only focused on the task at hand. What a wonderful young man... I pray that God will reward him greatly for his kindness.

When I got to Wal-Mart, I was surprised to discover that I didn't have one bad tire. I had three!!! Proof once again that God has taking care of me! What if I had blown out more than one tire on the road?! Because the following day was payday, I purchased two tires... To my dismay, I was only paid for three days instead of five... I don't know what happened, but a lot of people were only paid part of their paycheck. Makes me sad...

Good Friday is the day that I died, but it is also a reminder that I was given a second chance at life. When I am continuously failing, it is so easy to forget about my many accomplishments in life... I have done a lot in my lifetime, but when I interview, I am not getting that across... mostly because the interviewers are not asking the right questions... How can I bring forth my worth?! or is it that they don't want to see it...

Last week, I read Mary Kay's biography. I could not put the book down. I read it all the way through within hours... It is amazing how one woman managed to change the world...

I don't know about you, but I came into 2010 thinking of this year as a year of Dreams... With the nightmare of last year's job, I vowed that this year has to be different... My daughter making it into the Fashion Designer world made me realize that my Dream never died... It only skipped a generation...

Yes, Good Friday is always my day of Reflection... I am grateful that I have a job and the job that I have allows me the freedom to take time off if I want, although I don't get paid for any time off, but the job I am in is not enough to realize my dreams because it doesn't pay enough... Still, it provides me with some money, so I have decided to supplement it by taking a risk. I am now officially a Mary Kay consultant. If you are in need of any Mary Kay products, let me know.

::Spring Fling::

2010-03-20T11:26:00.004-05:00

Last month, I was surprised to see a lady at Wal-Mart wearing a Mary Kay jacket. OMG @ it's a pretty good way to advertise... so she had me fill out some survey and I got a free lipstick. That next Monday, I went in as a guest to one of their meetings. They have been having demonstrations on how to have parties focusing on only a few products at a time.

One night they had a Lucious Lips meeting. Another night, they had a Pajama Party meeting with a Pajama outfit contest... and of course, I won that! LOL... I wore a black Tshirt with pink pajama bottoms, red Elmo slippers, fluffy pink boa, tiara, hair up in pigtails with two pink curlers, a blankie, and my guest was my teddy-bear Fonzi. LOL... I won first place (a little bag of some Mary Kay samples).

Last Monday, some people dressed up in this Spring's tropical trends and accessories. Some of the fashions were from Stein Mart, but most were things in people's closets that were jazzed up with new tropical glass and wood jewelry and tropical straw purses. The girls came up one at a time so that the Director could do their makeup with Mary Kay makeup. It was so much fun!

This Monday, they want all of us to dress up in something tropical. I found this fabulous material in green and turquoise on a brown background, so I will be making a simple sundress without a pattern... unless if it turns out to be a skirt... I hope I bought enough material. LOL

As previously mentioned, I am working as a Personnel Clerk with the United States Census Bureau for only $8.00 an hour. The reason why I took this position instead of the higher paying jobs is because the higher paying jobs do not last very long. After everyone is counted, there is still clerical stuff to do, so this job can extend months longer... but it is NOT enough to pay my rent, car, car insurance, utilities, gasoline, etc, and groceries.

I am enjoying going to the Mary Kay meetings, even if I am NOT a consultant. I am thinking about going into the Mary Kay business, but I am kind of scared, because I don't know that many people. Still, it is only $100 for the starter kit. That is not a big investment at all for something that might change my life... Plus, you get to discount utilities, phone, mileage, etc., when you do your taxes... Would this be a good opportunity for me?

::Le Update::

2010-03-14T13:52:00.000-05:00

OMG @ has it been since Valentine's day?!! So much has happened since then...

As previously mentioned, I was supposed to start working for the Census on February 15, but when I went, they gave me the day off, because I was the only one who showed up for training. I started working for the Census as an Administrative Clerk for only $8.00 an hour on February 16. That's half what I used to make. Grrr... but after my last job, my Spirit was completely destroyed! I have to try to rebuild my self-confidence.

On February 17, I fell at work. I was coming in the front door during my lunch break, but a man and a woman were talking behind the door. The woman moved but she didn't move her little suitcase. and I didn't see it. I fell over the suitcase and my face almost landed in the man's shoes. That is no way to fall for a man, even if he IS single!!! I broke my fall with my right knee and my right hand. Oddly enough, the woman never said she was sorry and she never bothered to try to help me up. I continued to work the rest of the day.

On February 18, I was at the hospital all day... almost eight hours. They took X-rays, gave me some pain killer, gave me a knee stabilizer that is too long for my leg and some crutches. The doctors said they didn't expect to see someone so young-looking compared to the age listed on my chart. LOL... Under doctor's orders, I did not return to work until Monday. That was such a painful weekend, especially difficult getting from one room to the next. I'd finally get to the kitchen when my bladder would yell at me to go somewhere else! Grrr @ why didn't you speak up when I was closer to the bathroom?!# I kept asking everyone how do you get around on crutches?! No one seemed to give me an answer. I think I ended up hurting my healthy leg from trying to get around on those crutches. Living in an upstairs apartment only adds to the injury.

Working that week was hard. I popped a lot of Tylenol to get through the days, but I still managed to get in 39.5 hours that week. The following week, I worked almost 50 hours... Oh, so tired... and no time to wash underwear! I had to go buy some more, because if I am in another accident, I don't want to scare the paramedics!!! ... My knee and my hand are still in pain, but I have to keep on going...

To add to my torment, the Unemployment people kept calling me, for about two weeks, different people, all asking the same questions about my fall. I had to send paperwork to the Workmen's comp people... All kinds of people ringing my phone tunes. OMGG... STRESS... To top it off, I have lost my W2. I have to find it so I can do my taxes... Grrr...

I was disappointed at my job when I first started because all I was doing was filing. When they put me on the phones to hire people, they were impressed with me, because I hired 26 people in 1-1/2 days, so I became the "star." I am glad that the bosses see me in a good light. Two of the girls have been gossiping about everybody and whispering. I hate whispering. They also made comments to make me feel bad. One of them keeps saying my name in Spanish. I corrected her in a nice way, but she didn't like it that I spoke up for myself. She said: What? Are you white?!... I was offended because I was singled out... What about Adam? What about Pat? Why do they insist on changing mine but not theirs?! I told her that according to my birth certificate, it does say that I am white. Those two girls continued to be rude, slamming the phone, slamming down files right beside me, so I told on them., because they make me feel uncomfortable. Whenever I am around bullies at any job, I usually just keep quiet and keep to myself, but that hasn't worked for me, so this time, I told on the girls and moved to a different spot. Was that wrong? What is the proper thing to do when you are around bullies at work?

:: Be My Valentine ::

2010-02-14T00:43:00.001-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day! Wish I had some flowers and candy! LOL...

I had an Interview last Thursday. The woman was very young and she had her nails made up for Valentine's Day... I don't know how it went, because it went by FASTer than I can blink! I did leave a thank you note, though... I hope it helps...

On Saturday, I donated a car load of stuff for them to make money for the Children's Home. That stirred some good KARMA, because I was eXtremely surprised to receive a phone call from the Census Bureau. They want me to start on Monday. The job pays half as much as I used to make. If I am on unemployment, how does that work? I will probably have to continue my job searches, which I can do, but what if I am called to Interview?

:::Le PASSION:::

2010-02-08T05:45:00.000-06:00

Le day of amore is right around the corner... Once again, I have let LIFE get in my way... Usually that happens when I am IN a job. Right now, I have NO job, but looking for a job is my NEW job... so once again, I am on the edge of allowing or not allowing LIFE to pass me by... Did I catch it in the nick of time?? Well, it is NOT V-day yet, but once again, I have failed to put TIME into looking for a boyfriend, so it is pretty much the same as almost missing it...

I know some women settle for men just because they are good for them... someone who can be a good friend, someone who can be faithful, someone who cares for them... I have been in relationships with men who were not good for me... but it is hard for me to imagine being with someone if there is no PASSION in the relationship... Am I more willing to be in a relationship with a man who is not good for me than to be in a relationship where there is no PASSION?... Good question...

Right now, I am in a relationship with a man who is good for me, but the relationship has not gone anywhere in years... He is a good friend, but I cannot say that we are a couple, because I have never been attracted to him that way... He has a lot of good qualities... more than are on my list of "must have" qualities, but what cuts me off the most is his mouth. He seems too comfortable in our relationship that he always says things that he shouldn't... total turn-off! Is it possible to create PASSION where there is no CHEMISTRY?!... Yawn...

I have been without a boyfriend since my divorce in 1997... and I waited 13 years to find that one! OMG @ this year will hit another 13 years mark... I better keep my eyes open...

::Le Update::

2010-02-03T17:42:00.000-06:00

No blog dayz... Tell me what's a-happening?!#@

My last entry left me totally speechless & surprised... My daughter is designing fashion and putting on fashion shows... My childhood dream has become my child's reality... So proud of her...

There have been some things to write about, but I haven't been in the mood for blogging or creating tags lately...

Jencarlos showed up in the Valley. The little boy has grown up totally HOT... Refer to pic via prior entry... Some overweight girl won a kiss. He kissed her on the mouth once, but when she tried to take advantage via full tongue, he backed off. LOL @ I thought that was funny.

The job search is especially dry this week, and it is already Wednesday... I have been reviewing jobs I applied for in the past to see if there might be some job leads, but no... Where is that open door? Grrr @ I wish the job would just land in my lap without effort, as it has in the past... but the job search has become a full-time job, usually from six to eight hours a day, with little or no reward...

Being able to watch TV during daylight hours has opened my eyes to the way other people live... Judge Pirro says adults who don't work are more likely to get into trouble... Tyra Banks says there are women who have two Va-JJ's... What?!...

Goes to prove that although work usually takes full control of my life, I haven't missed out on anything! LOL... Here's to finding a job that will bring more balance into my life...

D.R.E.A.M.S...

2010-01-23T22:26:00.000-06:00

Today, I discovered that my dream was never destroyed...

Today, I discovered that my dream only skipped a generation...

Today, I discovered that my dream has become my daughter's dream...

Today, I discovered that my dream is now our dream...

I smile...

I cry...

and my heart is at peace...

~ Winivere

::Cinnamon Never Tasted So Good::

2010-01-09T11:09:00.000-06:00

This is the first dark-haired man to walk through my Journal... Canela is the Spanish word for Cinnamon. Did I mention that I love cinnamon? I love everything cinnamon, but this is a new cinnamon to love. (smile)

This is Jencarlos Canela, an actor and a singer. He is one of People Magazine's most beautiful people and he will be coming to our area soon to promote his new CD. Most of his pictures show him flaunting a five o'clock shadow with his hair down, but I am most attracted to him with a goatee and his hair slicked back in a ponytail. Unfortunately, I was not able to find any pictures of him like that...

The job that I interviewed for this week was supposed to start on Thursday. I wasn't called, so I guess I blew the interview... When that happens, all these things go through my head about where I went wrong... Although, I am somewhat relieved that I did not get the job because I really do not want to work 24/7 anymore. If I wanted to do that, I would apply for a job that pays more money...

I also think about my previous job and how my ex-boss wrote down things on paper to make me look as if I was behind when all of my documentation was up-to-date... I could have fought for my job and won, but I was too burned-out at being bullied and at having to drive to a job that is an hour away for the past 13 months...

The kind of work that I do is and will always be stressful. Going into another job only means I am putting myself back into the same pot of hot water... But God knows that I was unjustly let go, and He knows that the job and those She-Devils were draining the life out of me, and so, I believe that it was God that pulled me out of that bad situation and that it is God who will place me in a better place...

This week, I discovered that I am eligible for unemployment. It will not be much money, but any little bit helps. A friend of mine is a college professor, but he has two part-time jobs that do not equal 40 hours, so he is also looking for work. It is sad to know that in these times, a college education is not enough...

For some unknown reason, I have not been able to clean the living room, so yesterday, I rearranged the furniture. It's funny how something as simple as rearranging furniture will give you a boost.

Excuse me while I prepare myself some Cinnamon toast... =.)

::New Year Meme::

2010-01-06T10:20:00.006-06:00

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I wrote up my boss. I spent the night in New York. I also went to Boston, and California.

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions from last year and will you make any for 2010?
I kept my resolutions the first six months of the year. The downfall came in June when I, unexpectedly, had to buy another car, and I was unable to go to Youth Leadership Camp. My job and the toxic people I worked with kept making me sick. Yes, I will make more resolutions this year, because I want to believe that nightmare is behind me! Here’s hoping for a much better job in the near future.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
YES! My daughter gave birth to Luciano Alfredo.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
The father of my children died. I cannot say that he was close to me, but my daughters took it hard.

5. What countries did you visit?
I cannot visit other countries, because I was not able to renew my passport in time. Grrr

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
To work with nice people at a job that is closer to home. To go to Youth Leadership Camp this summer. For my closet to reflect that I am involved in activities other than work.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory...and why?
There are several dates that should be etched upon my memory this year, but the main date is the date that I was finally liberated from my nightmare: December 15.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being able to hold on to my job as long as I did. Walking out of there, knowing that all of my documentation was up-to-date.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failure to document all the evil things the She-Devils did. Failure to remember that the walls have ears. Failure to find the number to the Labor Board. Failure to find another job before I was let go.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My job literally made me sick. I have never had as many sick days at any other job in my entire life. The worst injury, however, is that they crushed my Spirit. Fortunately, I will not allow anyone to keep me down.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I was sad to let go of Jones, but I am thankful that I was able to purchase another used car.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My daughter’s fashion designs were featured in a Fashion Show. One of her designs got a standing ovation. She was selected to make costumes for several plays. I am very proud of her.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex-bosses, but one day, their bad Karma will show up in the name of justice!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Most of my income goes to rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
When Luciano was finally able to go home. He was a premie and was born with complications.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
She Wolf - Shakira

17. Compared to last year, are you......
happier/sadder? SADDER...
thinner/fatter? FATTER...
richer/poorer? POORER

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I was only paid for 40 hours but I devoted many more hours that went unpaid. I cannot say that I wish I had worked less, because working more hours allowed me to Reunify many families… something that went unrecognized by my superiors but recognized by the kids. Unfortunately, the long hours kept me from having a personal life. I wish I had taken vacations. I wish I could have gone to Youth Leadership camp. I wish I had spent more time with friends and family.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Driving back and forth to a job that is an hour away.

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
I spent it with friends and family online. LOL

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Living in the Valley probably means that I will be single the rest of my life!

22. How many one-night stands?
I’m not that type of girl. Sometimes, I wish I was! LOL

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Betty La Fea

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I am not the type of person who hates people, but their unjust actions make me angry. I hope I can get over this feeling because I need to leave the past behind to be able to go forward.

25. What was the best book you read?
Who has time to read when you are so busy working?!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pandora … LOL

27. What did you want AND get?
New eyeglasses and contacts

28. What did you want and NOT get?
Dentist appointment

29. What was your favorite film of the year?
That’s hard to answer when you don’t even know what was showing. If there was free time in 2009, I spent it on sleep.

30. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
OMG @ I don’t even remember. I wish I could have spent it with my girls.

31. What ONE thing would have made your year immensely more satisfying?
The kind of sex that keeps a woman satisfied. LOL

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
My color-plan helped to keep me from wearing black all the time, but my closet needs clothes for activities other than work.

33. What kept you sane?
It must have been God, because there is no explanation for that question! LOL

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Richard Gere, Mario Cimarro

35. Whom did you miss?
My girls & their families & the kids at Youth Leadership camp

36 Who was the best new person you met?
My new grandson, Luciano.

37 Tell us a valuable life lesson that you learned in 2009.
Listen more. Talk less.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I will survive?!!

Let Your Light Shine

2010-01-05T08:35:00.000-06:00

I have a Second Interview this afternoon for the job I interviewed for on December 18. I am so nervous. My hair is all frizzy and I don't know what to wear... God, I hope I don't blow it. Prayers requested here...

Welcome 2010!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-01T15:39:00.000-06:00

I have never been so happy to see a year go! Goodbye 2009! Welcome 2010!!!

This year begins with a Blue Moon. Is that HOT or what?! Must must must go for a moonlit walk tonight!!!

I am trying to keep up with the New Year superstitions. I am wearing my red bra and panties and I have even gone a step further by wearing a red shirt and a red headband! LOL... I cut up whatever I needed to cut up last night so I wouldn't have to use knives or scissors. Next year I will have to do more chopping because I am craving some pico de gallo! LOL...The hardest part has been not to wash anything because my dishes are piling up. Next year I will have to stick to finger foods! LOL... Yesterday, I paid my bills and sent them off. I bought grapes, salt, bread, wine but left the bread and salt in the car to bring into my home this morning. I should have bought two bottles of wine: one to celebrate the New Year and one to bring in with the bread and salt. Oh well, we learn by doing...

I am still thinking about my Resolutions...

Happy New Year! Here's to an exceptional year!

Traditions and Superstitions

2009-12-30T14:47:00.011-06:00

Here are a few

New Year Traditions and Superstitions.

Can you think of some more?

* Firecrackers and making noise scares away evil spirits.

* If you don’t clean your home by midnight, your home will be dirty all year.
* Before midnight, make sure you have money in your pockets or purse.

* At midnight, open the doors and windows to let out the Old Year and to bring in the New Year.

* Pay bills before New Year’s Day.

* The first person to come into your home should be a good-looking dark-haired man bringing gifts of bread, salt, wine, and fresh fruit.

* For good luck, eat 12 grapes, pork, black eyed peas, lentils, greens or cabbage.

* Using scissors or knives will cut off any fortune coming your way.

* Washing dishes, washing your hair, washing clothes will wash away luck and can cause death in the family in the coming year.

* To keep your money, on New Year’s Day, nothing of value should leave the house, do not pay for anything, do not lend money, do not give away precious gems.
*Wear red underwear for love and yellow underwear for prosperity.

* For love, health, and prosperity, dance around a tree.

-=-Happy Bunny-=-

2009-12-29T06:56:00.000-06:00

I know it is not the end of the year yet, but I am so ready for 2009 to walk out the door... Looking for work this time around is no different than last time: My biggest weakness is that I do not have a social work license and my degree is in Criminal Justice instead of Social Work.

I cannot believe that I have already been unemployed for two weeks. I turned in my first job search report to the employment office, and I received a phone call from somebody who will be checking my progress every two weeks, but I still do not know if I will receive unemployment benefits. Plans for today are to go to the employment office to refresh my Resume and to apply for some leads I found on the Web, pick up the little pamphlet of weekly classified ads at the Library, and run some errands.

According to the free Tarot readings on the web, I'm spinning my wheels, because at the moment, there is no hope for me to find a job. Wonder if my ex-employer is already talking bad about me.

More Xmas Tags & Christmas Trivia

2009-12-24T10:48:00.003-06:00

Christmas Holiday Trivia

The word Christmas is Old English, a contraction of Christ's Mass.

The first president to decorate the white house Christmas tree in the United States was Franklin Pierce.

Germany made the first artificial Christmas trees. They were made of goose feathers and dyed green.

Electric lights for trees were first used in 1895.

The first Christmas cards were vintage and invented in 1843, the Victorian Era.

"It's a Wonderful Life" appears on TV more often than any other holiday movie.

Rudolph" was actually created by Montgomery Ward in the late 1930's for a holiday promotion. The rest is history.

The Nutcracker" is the most famous Christmas ballet.

Jingle Bells" was first written for Thanksgiving and then became one of the most popular Christmas songs.

If you received all of the gifts in the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas," you would receive 364 gifts.

The poinsettia plant was brought into the United States from Mexico by Joel Poinsett in the early 1800's.

Holly berries are poisonous.

Contrary to common belief, poinsettia plants are non-toxic.

Mistletoe was chosen as Oklahoma's state flower in 1893 and later changed to the state floral emblem.

In 1843, "A Christmas Carol" was written by Charles Dickens in just six weeks.

The first state to recognize the Christmas holiday officially was Alabama.

Christmas became a national holiday in America on June, 26, 1870.

An angel told Mary she was going to have a baby.

Clearing up a common misconception, in Greek, X means Christ. That is where the word "X-Mas" comes from. Not because someone took the "Christ" out of Christmas.

Traditionally, Christmas trees are taken down after Epiphany.

More diamonds are sold around Christmas than any other time of the year.

In Mexico, wearing red underwear on New Year's Eve is said to bring new love in the upcoming year.

Christmas Eve Traditions

1. Create a Holiday Environment: Christmas music, lights, candles.
2. Worship: Midnight Mass
3. Prepare Christmas Eve Dinner
4. Deliver Christmas Presents
5. Donate Time to Charities - Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen or Homeless Shelter
6. Holiday Travel
7. Read "The Night Before Christmas" to the children and serve hot chocolate.
8. Visit people in a nursing home or at a children's hospital.
9. Perform little acts of kindness.
10. Start your own traditions.

Christmas Meme

2009-12-23T05:33:00.000-06:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? There's no excitement in opening up a present from a gift bag. Wrapping paper is the way to go! It's almost as exciting as opening up a man with lots of buttons.

2. Real tree or Artificial? The aroma of a real tree is awesome, but an artificial tree saves the forests and it is more economical because you can spend your money on presents instead.

3. When do you put up the tree? After Thanksgiving and hopefully before Christmas. LOL

4. When do you take the tree down? Christmas is not over until after the Three Kings come in January.

5. Do you like eggnog? Not really... We prefer Abuelita Hot Chocolate. It's a Christmas must.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? This doesn't specify if it was a Christmas present or not. We were too poor to receive Christmas presents when I was a child, but one time when I was sick an elderly woman from school came to our house and gave me a ceramic figurine of a little girl with a flowing dress and a bonnet. I don't remember who the woman was but her kind gesture is something I will always remember.

7. Hardest person to buy for? Mother. She will regift or come straight out and tell you she doesn't like it.

8. Easiest person to buy for? The children because they always tell you what they want. LOL

9. How do you decorate your tree--matchy-matchy or hodgepodge? Most of my ornaments are from the same designer. They are of fat mermaids, fat fish, seahorses, a frog prince. The others are not designer but they continue the sea theme. My brother bought me a starfish to put on the top of the tree, but Mother lost it and never gave it to me. I keep telling myself that I am going to go buy one, but I haven't taken myself to the Island in a long time.

10. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? I get lucky if I get to unwrap tamales. Should I buy my own gifts and act surprised?!

11. Favorite Christmas song? Santa Baby

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? While You Were Sleeping

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? In January. I like to shop throughout the year to make sure I don't get caught in that Christmas shopping mess.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No. I hang on to presents I don't like. LOL

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? tamales = food and unwrapping in one! LOL

16. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Doesn't matter as long as it is spent with Family.

17. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Was one of them named Chuy? LOL

18. What do you want to do for Christmas this year? It would be nice to stick to my original plans to visit with my daughter and her family in San Antonio, but if I don't get a job before Christmas, it will be more economical to stay here and continue to look for work.

::Snow Princess::

2009-12-22T13:43:00.003-06:00

It's funny that I have 90 followers but there's only a small handful who will actually leave comments. I often wonder if they take the time to read what I write or if they just snag the graphics I make...

Today, I met with the other candidates who are applying for jobs with the Census Bureau. As I filled out the application, I reconsidered applying for this job, because they ask you if you have ever been fired and if you owe the government any money (student loan) and did I mention that they say: READ THIS BEFORE YOU SIGN: If you don't tell the truth, we'll fire you if we hire you and you may be prosecuted if you are committing perjury for false information. Grrr... On the positive side, I am alive, I am available for work, and I do not have any criminal charges.

I was a bit disappointed to miss some of the questions, but I scored a 90, which the woman said was very good.

::Meet Me Under The Mistletoe::

2009-12-21T21:41:00.005-06:00

Christmas is on Friday, so I am going to try to add more Christmas tags this week. I couldn't resist this picture of Bridget and Mr. Darcy. I hope I did it justice. I love it when she says good boys don't kiss like that! Way to go, Mr. Darcy! LOL

The lady who interviewed me on Friday said I would hear something today, but I would like to think they are still deciding because I didn't get a call.

I was a bit nervous about going to the employment office, because I used to work for them, so there is always a chance that I will run into people who are going to ask: What are you doing now? Thank God all the people in front were people who don't know me... The pickings onsite were minimal... very minimal... Still, I applied for a couple of jobs today, and tomorrow, I have an employment test for a different job...

The employment office is close to the St. Jude shrine, but there is construction closing off the street to the shrine, so I had to go all the way around. It is usually very quiet and peaceful at the shrine, but today, there was a child that was very, very loud... Whenever I hear children acting like that, I am grateful that I do not have litle kids... The child's loud screams was a definite sign that I was not going to be able to pray, so I went into the shop to look around. I was surprised that there was hardly anything for sale in the shop.. What happened?!# I bought a green candle and walked back to the shrine. Fortunately, the child was gone and so were his screams. Yay! I put a little bit of holy water all over my body , asking God to bless me so that I can continue to bless others and I blessed the candle, too, before I lit it and knelt down to pray, hoping to find a little bit of peace within myself.

XX

P.S... One of my friends says what I have is valour. I like to think so. =.)

Valor/Valour... The quality of mind enabling one to face danger or hardship resolutely: braveness, courage, fearlessness, foritude, gallantry, heart, spirit, valiance, spunk, gutsiness... The quality or state of being heroic.

::Naughty Girl::

2009-12-21T06:39:00.004-06:00

Looking at Christmas lights in the Valley is more like a "who done it" mystery. When I drive past the houses of people who have money, there is very little or no Christmas spirit in their yard. If there is anything at all, it will be decorated with white or clear lights around the edge of their houses and maybe a few trees or there might be some reindeer in the yard, but usually, there are no lights and no decorations at all. If I drive past the houses of the middle class, the lights are colorful and their Christmas tree is proudly displayed in the window. If I drive past the houses of the poor, the lights are colorful and the lawns are full of lighted displays of the Holy Family and/or Santa Claus and snowmen, etc.

In the homes of the people who have money, the money is probably spent to buy expensive presents instead of spending money in the yard. In the homes of the middle class, they are probably overloading their credit cards trying to have it all: tree, food, decorations, and presents. In the homes of the poor, there are probably few or no presents, because they are trying to make it seem like Christmas with what they have.

I cannot say that I believed in Santa Claus in my childhood or not. All this talk about Naughty or Nice never made any sense to me, because no matter how nice you were all year, Santa never came to our house. For us, Christmas was about going to Midnight mass and the birth of the baby Jesus. At CCD, we would get a Christmas stocking with an orange and an apple and a handful of old-fashioned Christmas candy... but presents, we never got. We never questioned it and we never asked for presents. Perhaps that is why I never think about what I want for Christmas, because Christmas has never been about me.

In my adulthood, I do believe in Santa. He still does not come to my house to leave presents for me, but Santa is not about presents. Santa is about the spirit of giving. When it comes to Christmas giving, my thoughts turn to the children, because even if children live being poor everyday, they do not understand the concept of being so poor that Santa doesn't come to their house. Every Christmas, the first present we get should be a gift for a child who might not get present. It's not so much about getting the most expensive gift you can find, it is the thought that someone thought about them enough to get them something. Poor children seem to appreciate things so much more than a child who always has everything they need. I am a great believer in that children should not get everything they want. I am a great believer in teaching children how to appreciate what they have and in teaching them to be grateful, but even if you do not have money, there are always ways to make the day special for the little children.

All I Want For Christmas

2009-12-19T05:23:00.001-06:00

December 18 is my favorite day of the year... This year, I had my first interview after being fired in the same week! See how great that date is for me! I was very disappointed that it took half a tank of gas to get to and from the interview. I hope it will be the last time that I have to travel that far to look for work...

I went to sleep the night before, not knowing what I was going to wear (shocker)... I wore a black tank with a cowl neckline, black pants, and a pinstripe jacket and boots. The closest jewelry within reach was a waterpearls necklace and earrings that I had worn recently, so I put that on. Basically God dressed me, because I ended up wearing whatever was clean and not wrinkled. LOL... When I sat down, there was a woman waiting to meet a child and her deaf sister. I was surprised that I was able to speak a little sign language with her. Then, a kid that I knew walked up to me. He was transferred from the shelter where I used to work. He couldn't believe that I had left the facility. Have I mentioned that the children at the shelter loved me? Kids know. Too bad adults can be such haters!

The woman who interviewed me was almost wearing the same outfit as I was. LOL... I have to say that the interview went well. I think I made a good impression, because when we talked about my reasons for not being at my job anymore, she said it really doesn't matter. Basically, I just told her that I was burned out from the driving distance everyday and that when I left the job on Tuesday, the feelings were mutual. Also, when she said that if I were to get the job, they would need my transcripts, she was impressed that I pulled them straight out of my briefcase. She was able to make copies right away and I signed papers for the background check.

After the interview, I was debating whether to go to Red Lobster or not, because the cost of a meal is like between a third or half of a week's groceries! It was exactly like that angel vs devil on my shoulders routine... Yes, in the end I gave in... I ordered water with lemon to cut costs. As I sat there eating my meal,the food was not as good as other Red Lobster restaurants that I have experienced. I paid my bill and purposely over-tipped the waitress because it is the Christmas holidays... How crazy is that when you have no income coming in? But when I came out of the restaurant, I had to laugh at myself, because God never ceases to surprise me...

A friend whom I used to work with came out of the same restaurant a few minutes after I did! I found her with no effort. I found her with God's effort! We exchanged phone numbers and she is going to write me a letter of recommendation. Yay! So I figure if God pushes you somewhere, go! The price of a meal at a restaurant when you have no income may sound stupid but the price of a letter of recommendation from a friend who believes in you, priceless! =.)

Dear Santa: I Can Explain

2009-12-17T14:20:00.001-06:00

Greetings! Yes, I got fired on Tuesday. The main boss really doesn't know the paperwork involved in case management so the way the Boss from Hell wrote it up, she made me look really bad, although it was minor stuff that could have probably been completed in an hour or two. Because I was planning to take three days vacation, I was busy trying to get as much done so I could turn in my remaining cases before the end of the week so the cases could be reviewed for approval while I was out. But at 4:30, the main boss asked me in and the Boss from Hell was there, too. I was upset that they didn't allow me to keep the kids art. I had tons of it. They are jealous that the kids love me so much. They watched me pack and they walked me out. Fortunately, the kids were no longer in the building...

They actually did me a favor letting me go, because I was burned out with my boss' bullying... and for the first time since this job began, I actually woke up in tears on Monday. She literally sucked the life out of me and crushed my spirit. The drive back and forth took two hours out of my day everyday, not to mention waking up so early just to get there in time.

I have never been as sick as often as I was at that job, and that's mostly because I never took a vacation the whole year I was there. It is amazing that I was unbelievably sick on Monday and Tuesday, sneezing and coughing like a dog. Yesterday, I took care of myself and actually rested. I couldn't go anywhere, because God has been crying for over a week. It has been cold and raining and raining. I can only imagine how flooded out Mother is.

I keep getting wet in the rain. Yesterday was so bad that I didn't go to the employment office, but I requested three letters of recommendation from three of my friends. I hope they can write them up soon. I found an old paycheck, so I was able to figure out how much I was paid an hour. I revised my application and resume in the Work In Texas site and applied for three jobs. Then, I went to the grocery store last night, although it was still raining, but the price of my medications went up double the price! OMG... I bought some toilet paper and came home. LOL...

This morning, I applied for unemployment by telephone. I was on the phone for over 30 minutes. OMG @ I am going to have to buy more minutes for my phone. I don't know how this is going to work, because I usually only use my minutes for emergency and I talk to my daughter for a little while on the weekends...

Well, today, I was surprised to get a phone call from one of the places where I applied. I have an interview in the morning. They are opening a new center in the town where I currently live, but the interview will be all the way to Brownsville, which is an hour and a half from here. Grrr... I hope it is not raining tomorrow. I also have a test for a different job on the 22nd.

::Tease the Season::

2009-12-15T19:35:00.001-06:00

It finally happened... the She-Devils finally got their way. So tomorrow is the start of a new life for me... It's kind of scary to be without income again, but I feel relieved to leave the nightmare of working there behind me. The problem, of course, will be money... I will not be able to pay for rent and my car, so I need to get serious about packing to get my things into storage and to get out of this apartment by the end of January.

Waiting for Santa

2009-12-13T09:07:00.003-06:00

Last Wednesday after work, I went to find an outfit for Saturday. That was hard, because there wasn't much to pick from and/or the items were either too big or too small. Most of the red or Christmasy items had a red ticket, so I had to settle for holiday festive. That was hard, too, because all I could find was a tank top with silver sequins at the neckline. I matched it up with a black ruffled wrap sweater and a black flippy skirt and silver accessories. After trying on so many things in the dressing room, I was too exhausted to try my final choice on, so I just hoped for the best and came home.

On Friday, I read somewhere that if you are bloated, beano can shed like three to four inches off your waistline overnight! OMG! Well, there's nothing wrong with checking it out, so I bought something similar at the store with hopes that it would do it's magic. The pharmacist explained that when you get gas in your intestines, it's like a huge bubble. This medication acts like an efferdecent. It breaks up the big bubble into a lot of little bubbles so that it is easier to come out. LOL...

On Saturday, I put on my makeup and fixed my curly hair, as best as it would allow, added a little rhinestone hairclip on the left side, and wiggled myself into a pair of pantihose. I wore my black hoodie with some jeans and my black pumps. When I got to the store, I went looking for some tops that I was considering to buy and put them on hold. Then, I went into the dressing room to change into my outfit. Well, it wasn't the best, but considering what I had to work with, it met the rules! When I came out, I noticed that all of the dressing rooms were full! One lady was wearing the red top I liked inside a pencil skirt, but they made her take it off, because it had a red tag. The bad part was that she had only minutes to find a new outfit. OMG at I am glad that wasn't me!

So, we finally lined up. I think they went by outfit, because the line went from Christmasy to holiday festive to non-holiday dressy to casual everyday wear. There were eleven of us in all shapes and sizes. I was second in line. The first girl was wearing a red and black dress with a black shrug. As per our directions, she walked to the right, stopped and posed while the photographers took pictures, walked to the middle, stopped and posed for more pictures, and then walked to the left to pose for the audience and for more pictures. There were a few customers in chairs watching us. Then, it was my turn. I was a bit more "top model," remembering Tyra Banks "fierce" runway suggestions, although not as extreme... After all, I AM in the Valley. LOL... I stopped and posed to the right, went to the middle, posing with the silver purse in my hands with my legs apart, and ended with a Marilyn Monroe pose on the left. Because there was no applause for the first model, I was surprised that there was applause for me, and a lady in the audience commented that I did "really good." So then the other girls go up to model, but I didn't see them, because I was already at the end of the line. On the second round, we went in pairs. This was hard because all of this was unrehearsed and I couldn't see what the other girl was doing, but I got through it. On the third round, we just walked around the runway so the audience could see our outfits. OMG... so does this mean that I am Fashion Bug's next top model! LOL... I was really surprised at all the sales the store got from our modeling, so I guess we did really good.

In the end, I didn't buy the outfit I wore, but I got 30% off all regular-priced items that I wanted to buy. The red top had a red ticket, so I had to hunt for another red ticket item at the same price so I could get the second item at half price.

So... I bought the red top with red roses at the neckline, the tank with silver sequins at the neckline that I modeled at the fashion show, a turquoise print top with silver embroidery and sequins at the neckline, a purple top with 3/4 sleeves and black roses on the left side, and a black velour hoodie, all for under $100 after taxes! OMG at Winivere models hard for the money! LOL @ not buying anything new all year, Winivere finally has some new things!

P.S... The drama at work continues... I have to meet with my boss every Friday so she can review my files every week. I hate it. People in the Valley have a different way of thinking. At this job, the only way to survive is to be passive, submissive, shut up, and do what you are told. As far as relationships with a man in this area, there is no difference: be passive, submissive, shut up, and do what you are told... Sometimes, or should I say: most times, I just want the ground to swallow me up.

Thank God for the modeling I did on Saturday! It was a lot of fun and a welcomed little escape from all that drama at work! =.)

Some of My BEST Friends are FLAKES

2009-12-06T16:42:00.003-06:00

I haven't been feeling very creative lately... It could be because I am sick with a cold, but I think it is mostly because I am in a funk...

It was shocking to hear from the people I interviewed with from Corpus Christi. They wanted me to return for a second interview, but I was home sick and I really don't have time to take off. I have missed too much time being sick already. I've already been approved for three days off during Christmas week... so I think I missed the boat at getting on board that $12/an hour job. LOL@ I guess it's no big deal if that's all the job offers. ..At least, I know they were interested in me. =.)

I am still on probation at work, because I was unprofessional at making the company look bad by telling someone that I bought my own supplies. My current boss continues to go through my stuff with a fine-toothed comb and she plans to evaluate me soon. Grrr... I am burned out at the way I am treated at this job... But what direction can I take on this twisted fork in the road?! What else can I do that will pay me a decent salary? St. Anthony, please help me to find something better that is closer to home...

XOXO

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T11:57:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! The thing I am most grateful for this year is the people who come into my blog. This has been a year full of drama. Thanks for being there when I have needed to vent! May the Lord continue to bless you... always.

I Count You Twice

2009-11-22T09:52:00.004-06:00

It is so nice and cool that there is no need for the air conditioner this weekend! Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom... Don't you just love it?!

They were not kidding about the rain in Corpus Christi on Friday and Saturday. It was pouring. I have to say that I was very disappointed in the interview, mainly: (1) because of the low salary and (2) because I would be just another "at will" employee, which means that they can fire you any time without warning. Also, towards the end, I had questions to ask, but the interviewer seemed anxious to end the interview, which to me means that she had not scheduled enough time for the interview, she did not expect me to ask questions, or she was not that much into me. Ouch! Maybe she is just a bad interviewer?

The trip makes me wonder what I need to do in order to relocate. For one thing, to rent an apartment, you have to make at least three times the rental quote., plus you have to have enough money for deposits and/or first and last month's rent. Also, you have to be working at your job for at least six months. Plus, there is the problem of moving your stuff from one location to the other. What would Martha Stewart do? LOL

Today is the Day

2009-11-20T08:23:00.000-06:00

Today is the day of my interview in Corpus Christi... I hope they will like me! There is a flood warning, so I hope I won't have any problems driving up there! Too bad my Blackmobile will not turn into a boat! ha ha... The news reported that they had to close the schools in Rockport because there was eight inches of rain. OMG! Wish me luck!

Winivere

Count Your Blessings

2009-11-14T10:23:00.005-06:00

Looking at my last post, I am wondering why I made the poor choice of being a career girl instead of a porn star. LOL @ at least I would have gotten some sex out of it. OMG... Did I say that?!#

As previously mentioned, I was put on three days suspension without pay, because I told someone that I bought all of my own office supplies, which my boss said was unprofessional... so I went in the Sunday before to submit eight cases for approval. Why should the kids have to suffer because I was suspended without pay?! So get this... only four of the cases have been approved and that was at almost 5:00 p.m. on Friday. Good grief at am I working too fast for them? And that was with two different set of people reviewing the cases! Well, luckily, I was able to contact the families to request the airfare money for the kids, so hopefully, the money will arrive in time for at least four of the kids to be released to their families before Thanksgiving. Aww, that's so cool!

The bad thing is that they are limiting the hours we can work after 5 p.m. and on the weekend. I am on salary. What's the big deal if they are getting FREE work from me anyway? They are so tight-assed that you can freeze ice from their butts... OMG @ so sorry if that offends, but there is no other way to describe their stupid ways of thinking... I hate control freaks who only want you to do as they say and keep your mouth shut. Grrr...

I have an 8-hour day coming that I haven't taken yet. I am using it to go to an interview in Corpus Christi next Friday. God help me to get the job, even though it means I will finally have to pack to get out of the Valley! It is my dream to get out of here anyway... Sure, I came here to help my family, but all I have done to myself is to totally isolate myself from any kind of resources or assistance. When my car breaks down, I can't even call them to help, because they never answer the phone, and my brother has been without transportation for over a year with no intentions of resolving his transportation problem. My brother is and will always be the favorite, which is fine with me, except that they only contact me when they want to come over to eat at Thanksgiving or if Mother wants me to drive her up to San Antonio. It is too hard to count your Blessings when you live in the Valley, especially if you are alone in the world. I never should have left Corpus Christi.

I hope next week is a better week!

XOXO,
Winivere

P.S. It was so much easier to follow people's blogs before. What is google friend connect?!#

Legal Question

2009-11-07T08:41:00.005-06:00

So yesterday I felt as if I was called into the Principal's office. I will be on Suspension without pay on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday because I told someone from an outside agency that I have paid for all of my own office supplies. My employer said this comment makes the agency look bad. I am on salary and Veteran's Day is a holiday. Am I protected under the law? Do these laws also apply to a non-profit organization? Anyone out there with some legal savvy? Sandra?

When other little girls were busy playing with dolls, I was dreaming of a career. Too bad reality cannot be as perfect and wonderful as the dreams you make up in your imagination. In spite of the obstacles and difficulties of my job, I like my job, but I continue to ask myself the same question: Will I be able to keep my sanity until I am able to reach retirement? And when I finally reach retirement, will I be able to survive on the little amount I will receive?!

It's not oVeR!

2009-11-01T08:54:00.003-06:00

OMG @ I can't believe my favorite holiday is over and I didn't add any of my Halloween creations to my blog! Don'tcha just hate it when WORK becomes your entire life?! Grrr... Well, at least Daylight Savings time finally got here! I am all for an extra hour of being younger, although I was two hours younger on Friday! LOL @ I was in California dropping off a child to Foster Care. The Social Worker who met us at the airport was so HOT. OMG @ why couldn't I have been a few YEARS younger instead of only a few HOURS? OMG at his dimples are still fresh on my mind! LOL

OK... So HALLOWEEN is oVeR... but in the Latin culture, there is still All Souls Day and the Day of the Dead... Yep... the celebration continues for two more days. All Souls Day is when people pray for the people who were dear to us who have gone before us. Many people will be visiting the graves of their loved ones today... The Day of the Dead is based on the belief that the dead are allowed to return to earth on this day to be with their loved ones. For this reason, elaborate altars are created in people's homes, and everything is prepared as if they are actually coming to visit. The guest room is prepared for them or extra blankets and linen are laid out for them. An extra plate is set on the table. Their favorite meals and drinks are prepared. There are carnivals and celebrations in the streets with people dressed up like skeletons. Little three dimensional shadow box pictures with skeleton people doing everyday things are created to hang on the wall. The marigold is the flower of the dead, so there are marigolds everywhere, including the altars. Although I am Latin, I had never heard of this celebration until I came to the Valley, but I think it is a cool belief that our loved ones are allowed to visit us on this day and at how creative these people are even though their incomes are limited.

Autumn Cool Breeze

2009-10-14T04:25:00.004-05:00

Well, would you believe I was a redhead for only a week?! LOL @ my hair went back to blonde. I think it is funny, because when I dyed it brown, it went back to blonde. LOL @ am I just supposed to leave it alone?! Shakira! LOL

Anyways, last Wednesday, I had to meet a minor at 5 a.m. at the airport. I flew to Boston, MA, to reunite him with his papi. Too bad I didn't run into any Kennedys, but I did wear my lucky black shirt. LOL... Did you know they stopped giving food on the airplane? Now they charge you for your food! Imagine four dollars for a little bit of cheese and a few crackers! GRRR... I was also disappointed in the huge souvenir magnets they had to choose from, because only one would have taken up all of the space on my refrigerator! OMG @ I decided to get a pair of silver earrings instead. They are long and they are made of tiny little chains. Awesome! I also found an aluminum flaming heart with wings to put on the wall when I was at the Dallas airport and some jumping beans. The beans are so fun. =.) The bad part is that my day did not end until 10:45 p.m. and The Boss From Hell Who Can't Spell only gave me four hours of compensation. That's not right; is it?

Last week, I turned in seven investigations. Four were approved and three kids have already reunited. On Monday I turned in another one, so now I have four cases pending approval.

I have more cases to complete this week. God give me the strength to keep up with my paperwork! It is so much work to get all of the evidence completed, but the best part of my job is when the families are reunited. It's like going through hard labor, and then, giving birth. The struggles are tough, but the rewards are great. God help me to hold on to my job and to survive the She-Devils so I can continue to help these kids.

XX

OVER THE TOP award

2009-10-11T11:47:00.007-05:00

I am a little late with this, but Sandra nominated me for an Over the Top award.
So, the rules of this award are as follows:

~Answer the questions below using only one word
Like Sandra, I'll use as many words as it takes...........
~Thank the blogger who gave it to you: Gracias, Senorita Sandra.
~Pass it on to 4 of your favorite bloggers
so on with the questions:

1. Where is your cell phone? In an animal print mini-box

2.Your hair? Curly, Fluffy, Sexy

3. Your mother? Widow

4. Your father? MSgt. U.S. Army. Korean War Veteran. Died of Leukemia when I was 3.

5. Your favorite food? Seafood, Avocado, Chinese

6. Your dream last night? Too exhausted to dream lately

7. Your favorite drink? Margarita, Ice Mocha with whip cream, chocolate chips, cinnamon, nutmeg

8. Your dream/goal? To get BEYOND survival

9. What room are you in? Living Room

10. Your hobby? Almost Non-Existent since I started this job: Art, Cooking, Designing, Making Clothes, PSP

11. Your fear? FALLing in Love

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Retired by the sea

13. Where were you last night? Working GRRR

14. Something you aren't? Bitchy

15. Muffins? are boring

16. Wish list item? Happy-ness =.)

17. Where did you grow up? Texas

18. Last thing you did? Made a Bacon, Lettuce, & Tomato sandwich. YUMMM and watched a movie

19. What are you wearing? Smile

20. Your TV? Too much Spanish GRRRR

21. Your pets? Tidbit died this year. She was a cockatiel. I miss her.

22. Your friends? Belle & Daniel are my best friends. They live in the same town but they don't know each other. LOL =.)

23. Your life? Too much work DRAMA ~ STRESSful to work with She-Devils

24. Your mood? Happy NOT to be at work today

25. Missing someone? Not really... I enjoy my time alone, just kicking back. Ahhhhhh

26. Vehicle? THE BLACK KNIGHT

27. Something you're not wearing? Clothes =.)

28. Your favorite store? Paper Bear in San Marcos, TX

29. Your favorite color? Deep Royal Purple... although lately, I am drawn to browns, teal, olive green

30. When was the last time you laughed? When I was talking to Angel on the phone

31. Last time you cried? Don’t remember… They say Big Girls Don’t Cry… Am I finally a Big Girl? LOL… or maybe I am just overdue to cry... Lord knows I have plenty of reason to cry, but I haven't!

32. Your best friend? My BFF Belle. We have been friends for almost 20 years.

33. One place that I go over and over? To buy gasoline for my carro. GRRR

34. One person who emails me regularly? Belle

35. Favorite place to eat? The Boiling Pot, Crab’s Inn, or Red Lobster

My nominations are:
1.) http://kath-mysimplerhymes2.blogspot.com/
2.) http://jimsulliv3.blogspot.com
3.) http://coelhathoughts.blogspot.com/
4.) http://wouldyoulikesomeheartwiththat.blogspot.com/

I tried to put this award on my sidebar but it won't add. GRRR... I'll try later.........

Prayers Needed Please

2009-09-27T07:28:00.006-05:00

OK... Well, my last entry was a THOUGHT!... OMG @ why is LIFE always such a hard struggle for me? What can I do to make my life easier?! GRRR...

My primary problems are at work. It is hard to work with people who don't like you, especially because if they don't like you, they try their best to get you FIRED. Yes, my "New Boss from Hell who Can't Spell" is using her new found power to find anything and everything she can to get me fired. She wrote me up for being behind in my work while I was out three days sick, so I went in to work yesterday (Saturday)from 10:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m., and I didn't finish what she wants me to present to her boss, so I am having to return to work today (Sunday). Mind you that I live an hour away from work, so that takes an extra two hours away from my day. This means that I will not get a day off to rest this week. I work on salary which means the sick days were taken away from me, but the time I have been at work this weekend to make up the work is not credited, because I do not get paid by the hour... Plus, I missed a training and will have to study it by myself to get quizzed next week. Paperwork SUX. Now, I have to give her my work everyday for two months.

Grr... Also, the She-Devils at work collaborated with each other to get red shirts. Mine is the only one that is black. I love it because I think it looks more professional than theirs, but it just goes to prove that I am not part of their clique.

I hate working with women. This is probably part of retaliation for my writing up my previous boss who is now a trainer. I need to keep more notes on My Boss from Hell Who Can't Spell.

XX

Redheads Are Cool

2009-09-25T04:29:00.004-05:00

The traffic lights that take the longest to change are the ones that are closest to my apartment. What was different about today’s lights was that when I got to the light, I kept telling it to change… change… change… When are you going to change?!

Waiting for a light to change may seem like a lifetime, but it was very clear that it is the question that I should be asking myself! Autumn is all about change. In the Valley, we have tropical weather all year 'round, so we don't get to see all the pretty changing seasons... If we did, would we change with the season? Staying the same is safe, but staying the same is standing still, and standing still is not going forward, and not going forward means you are only existing, and if you are only existing, that means you are not living...

The first change I have made this season is to go red. I just got tired of the blonde, so I decided to go back to my natural haircolor. It took a lot of courage to change my hair color, but I have noticed that it has turned some heads and it will give my hair a rest to look healthier again. Plan 2 is to pick up after myself so that I don't end up spending a lifetime cleaning house. Plan 3 is to develop a better way to organize my work so I can get more things done in less time. Plan 4 is to change my eating habits. Plan 5 is to put myself on my own agenda! These are all short-term goals that I can start right now, changes that I should already be doing but keep putting on "ignore," because there always seems to be other things that are "more important" to fill my days.

XX

My Friday Dish

2009-09-05T07:31:00.004-05:00

Hello, Everybody! Deeply apologetic for being AWOL for so long... Life has been extremely hard lately, but there has been a bit of good news...

Last Friday, I went to visit my youngest daughter in San Antonio, Texas. She is learning Fashion Design... I know! One of the dreams I never fulfilled for myself, because life has forced me to survive instead! LOL... The goal was to complete the outfits, because she had two of her designs featured in a Fashion Show... So I went for support, but I also went to help her to complete the finishing touches. She worked so hard, staying up late every night until everything was completed. On Saturday morning, she was still working on the accessories, so I finished the sequined headband for her.

The first design was a fitted pinstripe jacket with a white collar, an open square back, and a tuxedo red, black, and white tail. The model wore it with a satin white mini skirt, and a white fedora hat with a veil and peacock feather. The second design was a white top with a pinstripe corset worn with white satin pants with pearls suspenders and a black and white sequined headband with a slanted veil and peacock feathers. Her second design was the only design in the entire show that the people stood up to clap. I don't mean to sound as if I am bragging, but her work was the only part of the show that looked really original and that included accessories. The rest of the designs looked like stuff you could easily find in a store or on the street.

Luciano is nine pounds now. He is on a heart monitor and still has seizures. He is looks like his big brother but he has green eyes. It's like going back in time! =.)

Monday was the funeral. My girls' father was cremated. I am still in shock that he is dead. I could write some really ugly things here because he was not a good man, but out of respect for my girls, I won't. My oldest daughter took it very hard, not because of their relationship but because he was her father. He was never part of my younger daughter's life, but like me, she is still in shock that her father is dead, so she went to support her sister. I am surprised to discover that when someone dies, it can still be shocking even if you never had a good relationship with them.

Work has been an infierno with the people I work with. What does it take for people to stop telling you stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable? What does it take for them to accept you? I work with two women with very strong personalities who are very bossy, who have probably always had their way in life, and who have never suffered a day in their lives. You know the type. OMG @ how can they be on PMS every single day of their life?!!!!!!! How do you keep them from breaking your spirit? All of the new boys that have come to the shelter have been placed in my caseload. Good grief at I am so overwhelmed and drowning in paperwork, and the tacky attitude of my new boss is not helping. I have been there almost a year, but I do not feel stable in my job, because if they don't like you, they can easily get rid of you.

It's no wonder that I find my bliss in chocolate. LOL

XX

Update

2009-08-27T22:30:00.003-05:00

Hi. I am not going to work tomorrow. I am going to spend time with my daughter and her family this weekend. She's going to put on a fashion show. Should I take my lucky black shirt?! LOL...

I Love NY

2009-08-23T18:18:00.004-05:00

Last week, I had two cases approved for Family Reunification. One of them was in Virginia and the other one was in New York. When I called the Mother who lives in New York, I told her that we were still looking for someone to travel with her son. "Oh, you come, Winivere!" she said... Little did I know that her wish would come true... YES! I was in New York this weekend, reuniting a family...

When we changed planes in Houston, our seats were so far apart that I tried to get us closer together. In doing so, somehow, I got bumped up to First Class. OMG @ is this how rich people are treated? The man gave me a margarita to start off. I was flying before the plane was! Lunch was a wonderful Greek salad with chicken and vinegarette dressing, a fruit salad of cantaloupe, grapes, and pineapple, a hard roll, and corn chowder. The man offered me some red or white wine, but after the margarita, I thought I had better not! LOL...

When we came into New York, the weather changed and it began to rain... We walked up to where we were supposed to meet... The boy was the first to see her there... With big smiles, they yelled for each other until their bodies were in a tight embrace... Mother kissing her son... and son hugging his Mother... As always, the reunions are so emotional... so full of joy and happiness and gratitude... and as usual, it brought a tear to my eye...

Meanwhile, the weather became worse. Because of the thunderstorms and tornado watch, I was not able to return to Texas on Friday night, so I had to look for a hotel. Unfortunately, I took the wrong shuttle and they gave me a hard time because I was looking for a different hotel. The man threw the phone number at me, but I got the ride back. Then, it took the hotel three hours to get me a room, because they were so busy checking people in. There were so many airport cancellations that people were pouring into the hotel and other hotels near the airport were booked also. They must have made a million dollars that one night at the hotel where I was! Every time my boss called to pay for the room, they put him on hold. By the time I got to my room, it was too late to do anything except look at the fabulous view outside my window of this bridge in my tag, so I ordered Chinese, took a long bath, and lay myself down to sleep in those wonderfully cold sheets in that king sized bed. I was feeling so pampered and I haven't felt like that in a very long time!

Unfortunately, the trip back was not as nice. On the morning flight, they only gave me cold cereal and on the afternoon flight, I only got orange juice...

YES, I wore my lucky black shirt, and as usual, it brought me luck. What is it about that shirt?! I met two men while I was on this trip, so I have two new email addresses. LOL

XX

Drama Queen

2009-08-17T22:21:00.004-05:00

I woke up full of anxiety this morning & prayed all the way to work (an hour's worth of prayer)! I hate it when I feel like that, because it usually means that something is happening or is going to happen... I reunited three families, so I had three cases to close. They scattered all of my kids again. Oooo, I hate that! But thank God, I survived my Monday...

Am I moving too fast for ya? I only got 3 comments on my last entry. LOL...

No, Danielle, I was not able to do anything with that link for the ice cream kit. I had to make my own tubes. LOL @ it happens... MORE work! Grrr...

LOL at Terri wanting to borrow my Lucky Black Shirt... It's just a plain shirt, but it was also the shirt I wore when the 23-year-old guy with the HOT body hit on me. I hope it never wears out. LOL

XX

Summer Tags

2009-08-16T10:04:00.002-05:00

OMG @ this would have been a nice kit to download but all I got was the preview, because my computer said it is corrupt. Oh, well, you work with what you've got!

XX

Summer Dreams

2009-08-15T08:54:00.005-05:00

I know summer is almost over, but I have not been able to get into my blog since my last entry. I have no clue as to how I managed to get in today but it was NOT through my server... I hope this will not be my last entry. Grrr... Anyway... I saw this picture of these little girls at the beach and it inspired this tag. This tag is rated very G. LOL... How fun it must be to have dreams instead of worries! Will I EVER get to that HAPPY place?! LOL...

Thanks for the update, Sybil. I hope this computer will allow me to check out your new blog. It's about time you started a blog here. I want to see more pictures of the inside of that cathedral in Bath, please.

Work? Well, I have been dragging at work. The getting up so early and driving to work an hour away is so tiring... And I am usually staying after five 'clock, which I don't get paid for because I am on salary... I am so tired. Healthwise, I am on my 3rd batch of antibodics and I am still sick... Grrr... My weekends are no help, either. I usually end up doing errands, washing clothes, buying groceries, and all those awful things that I don't have time to do during the week... I have slowly started to pack, but it has been difficult finding the size boxes that I want...

On Thursday, I threw some salt over my left shoulder! LOL... Am I jinxed? All of my cases are going into their 2nd or 3rd sponsors because the previous ones had charges or changed their minds or they have taken weeks and in one case a month to approve my cases. What is that?! Grrr...

The Eye has been removed as our supervisor. He is a trainer now... probably because I had to write him up?... but mostly because of his own doing... So now Spelling Bee (the one who can't spell) is our supervisor. She is always cranky so I don't know if it is going to be any better...

Yesterday, we had some summer activities with the kids and someone made some tasty barbecue chicken. It was so good! They told us we could go casual, so I wore jeans and a black shirt. One of the boys noticed the main secretary and was appalled by what she was wearing, especially because of her position. Then, two of the boys told me that I always look nice and elegant, and that even on casual day, I dress right and look good in my jeans. OMG @ they notice everything. Thank God, I was wearing my lucky black shirt. LOL

XX

To Love is to Receive

2009-08-01T09:12:00.004-05:00

My favorite Telenovela is back! Would you believe the woman in the picture above and the picture of the woman below are the same person?! They are! This is the original Ugly Betty aka Betty La Fea from Columbia. Ever since it came out, people have tried to copy it, and even though most new versions have been well received, none of them compare to this original version.

This is a comedy, and most of it made me laugh so hard that I almost peed in my pants, but Betty's transformation was my favorite part of this story. Betty used to cover up being ugly by making fun of herself. How do you cover up your own insecurities? The one thing that most women don't realize is that beauty is an option. Some women go about being ugly all of their lives because they have been hurt, because no one has taught them any different, or because they decide that age permits them to be ugly. Betty changes her style and she gets rid of the excess facial hair, but she knows that all of that is not enough to transform her into the beautiful person she wants to be... She works from the inside out, focusing on forgiveness of others, forgiveness of self, and in getting rid of the bad energies that keep us stagnant.

I wish this story was on DVD, because watching this Telenovela is how I learned Spanish, so it holds a special place in my heart.

Maybe I should have been a movie critic; huh? LOL...

Deeply apologetic for being away so long... I have been having big computer problems, but I'm happy to finally be able to get into my blog...

I have more tags to add. I will add them soon.

:::Always Kiss Me:::

2009-07-25T13:50:00.006-05:00

-=-

My "attorney" shoes broke yesterday. Yep. They broke straight across! I have never seen that! I call them my attorney shoes, because the attorneys we work with have the same pair of shoes. The only difference is that theirs are leather and mine were cheap plastic. LOL... So today, I had to go on the prowl for some black shoes...

-=-

Well, I walked into PayLess, and there he was. This cute 23-year-old gent with one of those hard bodies that made my mind think dirty little thoughts of running my fingers all over his chest. Of course, being the lady that I am, I kept my dirty little thoughts to myself, although my eyes were trying hard to pay more attention to the rack that had shoes on it... He asked me how I was doing so I responded that I have been sick for over a month... That must have been a good pickup line, because he followed me into the size six aisle, and then, he said that he likes his women petite... The boy was flirting! Of course, it brought a smile to my face, and made me look a little closer at the merchandise... "You like your women petite?"I paraphased... "Yes," he said, "because they are so much easier to manuever and... and... and".... OMG @ I was being sexually harassed and I was enjoying it. LOL... It was the perfect moment to slam my body into his, caress his face, lick his lips, and wrap my leg around his bod.... Well, that is what I was thinking, anyway... LOL... So what kind of shoes are you looking for?... Black shoes that are comfortable enough for work... I like these but they are too big and they are in the wrong box. Do you know if some other store has them in my size? So we looked for the shoes in another size so he could get the name and number of the shoe... Black Jockey... LOL as in my underwear?... OMG... So he continues to talk dirty to me... not one sentence but several... some that I cannot bring myself to write! and then, he finally comes to the point... "So you like older women?" I ask... He responds with a big YES... "But wouldn't you rather be with someone your own age?".... "No, he says, they just lie there. LOL... All this dirty talk had him so excited that his pants were at attention. OMG @ I was too embarassed to look... Then, he asked me for a hug. I think he just wanted to feel my breasts pressed against him. LOL... He gave me a list of stores where to find the shoes... I know I should be feeling offended, but for a woman who is old enough to be his mother, he made my day! I wonder if he will be there when I buy another pair of shoes. LOL

-=-

By the way, I found the shoes downtown... Now everytime I put them on, I will remember this story... :::giggle:::... Once upon a time, there was a woman who walked into a PayLess store feeling fat and unattractive, but she walked out of the PayLess in complete catharsis, knowing a hot male made love to her with his eyes and his mind.

-=-

Another Year...

2009-07-19T08:17:00.003-05:00

Today is my Birthday.

If my oven was working, I would make myself a cake. LOL

:::Michael Jackson:::

2009-07-14T14:09:00.002-05:00

Oops @ I am a little late with this "King of Pop" tag, but it seems as if they are still talking about him and playing his music, so I guess it doesn't matter if I post it late.

My boss yelled at me this morning... again. He didn't like it when I told him that I was still having car problems, especially since he went through my desk yesterday and found some papers that I have not filed. Grrr @ he can be very harsh. It's amazing that I dreamed about him way before I met him and I said to myself that he was the kind of boss that I wanted to work for... until I got to know him... I have never worked at a job where I have felt intimidated. I have always been so sure of myself at other jobs. Why is this job different?! I think it is primarily because of the people I work with.

The wrecker guy finally showed up. OMG @ his feelings were hurt, because I didn't recognize him. Why would he feel bad if he has been living with someone for four years?! He denies that he is married, although in the state of Texas, if you live together for a year, you're married! Well, at least he thought I was only 35 years old. LOL...

Mr. Wrecker hadn't even taken my car off the wrecker when the mechanic had it fixed! It was only a $3.95 fuse. OMG!!!!!! =.)

Winivereology

2009-07-13T17:14:00.007-05:00

Let others know a little more about yourself. Re-post this as your name followed by "ology."

What is your salad dressing of choice? Kraft Free Zesty Italian
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Red Lobster or Crab's Inn
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Avocado
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni & Mushrooms
What do you like to put on your toast? Raspberry Fruit Spread
Chocolate or Vanilla? CHOCOLATE
How many televisions are in your house? 1
What color cell phone do you have? Black with a little flower sticker =.)
Do you have a laptop? Yes without the letter D
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Yes, lots of things! LOL
What is the last heavy item you lifted? trash
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yes
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? I have lived twice. I died and came back to life in 1980.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I already did.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? What kind is it?! Only if I like it!!!
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 1
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Car accident 2008
Last person you talked to on the phone? my boss
Last person you hugged? Suzie
Favorite Holiday? Halloween
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
Month? February - probably the only month it is cold here
Missing someone? yes
Mood? Worried about how I'm getting to work tomorrow
What are you listening to? The voices in my head! LOL... Worries
Watching? TV & radio in background. LOL (Radio alarm went off.)
Worrying about? Car problems
First place you went this morning? Neighbor took me to buy oil for the car but it still won't start.
What's the last movie you saw? Victoria Telenovela
Sleeping Alone Tonight? Unless if I get lucky in my dreams. LOL
Do you always answer your phone? No, sometimes, I don't hear it.
If you could change your eye color what would it be? Green, like my father's.
What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I don't even remember going to Sonic.
Do you own a digital camera? Yes
Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes. His name was Neptune.
What's on your wish list for your birthday? For people to tell me happy birthday! My family always forgets. Purple roses would be nice... and cake with ice cream.
Can you do push ups? yes
Can you do a chin up? Maybe one LOL
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? both
Do you have any saved texts? Yes, but my phone made them up. LOL
Ever been in a car wreck? Lots
Do you have an accent? Yes, I have been told I sound white. LOL @ is that what you sound like when English is your first language?.
What is the last song to make you tear up? It's been such a long time that I don't remember it.
Plans tonight? Yes.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes, lots of times, but I keep on going...
Name 3 things you bought yesterday. I was a good girl yesterday. I was a bad girl on Saturday! LOL. Three things I bought on Saturday: St. Anthony statue with removable baby, rosary, corset keys holder
Have you ever been given roses? Yes. I miss that!
Current hate right now? Being without transportation.
Met someone who changed your life? Yes, but it was not a good thing.
How did you bring in the New Year? I ran around naked drinking champagne. LOL! Not!
Name 3 people who might complete this? Probably Sandra.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes, but another era.
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Yes, boring. LOL
Do you have any tattoos/piercings? My ears are pierced.
Does anyone love you? Well, I am VERY lovable! xx
What songs do you sing in the shower? How can I be sure in a world that's constantly changing...
Ever had someone sing to you? Yes, it was a serenade at my window.
Do you like to cuddle? cuddling is very good
Have you held hands with anyone today? not even with myself! LOL
Who was the last person you took a picture of? the kids at my work. They put on a play.
What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? The hit parade which are now called "old school" LOL
Do you believe in staying close with your ex's? good grief NO!!
Are most of the friends in your life new or old? Both but I feel more comfortable with the old because I've known them longer.
Do you like pulpy orange juice? The pulpier the better!
What is something your friends make fun of you for? My friends don't do that. My family does. Grrr
Have you ever ridden an elephant? no, too stinky.
Do you like to play Scrabble? never tried it.
What are you saving your money up for right now? I want to move to another apartment
When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? sometime in June?
What were you doing 12 AM last night? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I wish I didn't have to work. LOL @ be careful what you wish for!!!!!!!!

Happy 4th

2009-07-03T11:26:00.002-05:00

I am thankful to be an independent woman in an independent country. God bless our forefathers who dared to build a country of the people, for the people, by the people... God bless the U.S.A.

Update

2009-07-02T05:07:00.004-05:00

Well, the doctor wanted me to stay home yesterday, but he let me go back to work instead. He was mad, because he couldn't reach me by telephone. They sent me two certified letters that I have not been able to pick up. Hello... he knows I work an hour away from where I live. If I can't even take myself to the doctor when I am sick, how am I going to find the time to pick up certified letters from the doctor?! Don't get after me, just pay for me to have the phone you want me to have! Grrr...

At work, we have seven boys in isolation because of the flu... a big worry at the shelter, because of the flu epidemic through Mexico. I was unable to find the file they audited. When I got to the office, the forms they had been looking for were on my desk the whole time. How could she have missed them? I don't understand... They will probably hound me about it...

I waited to pick up medications until last night... one because I waited til payday and two, because I waited for the doctor to call in my prescriptions... The doctor hounds me to take my meds, and then, he doesn't call it in? Grrr... I was at the pharmacy waiting and waiting forever. I wish I didn't ever need to mess with doctors... If I didn't have to get doctor excuses to return to work, I probably wouldn't bother. Gotta get my health back up to par.

One good thing about being sick is that I lost seven pounds. I'm only about 20 flu's away from my ideal weight. LOL @ I really need to get back in shape... Lord, strengthen me in mind, body and spirit, because I continue to stand alone...

Last night I had another dream. I was wearing loose clothing, dancing, and my inner child was with me. We were happy, dancing freely to the music. A man's voice asked me where I went today. He followed us and saw us dancing and full of joy. He said he wanted to go with us, too, but then, the room was so cold that I lost the dream and I could not get back to it... After that, I kept feeling someone staring at me in my sleep and I have not been able to go back to sleep... Now it is already time to go back to work... Grrr...

Update

2009-06-30T11:15:00.003-05:00

I woke up on Saturday morning so sick that all that I could do was to stay in bed. I was burning up for two days. On the third day, I lost my voice. Have you ever been so sick that you cannot take yourself to the doctor? I keep thinking of all the money that I have to give to the doctor when I could better use that money on medicine. The last time I went to the doctor, I couldn't afford to get the medication so I went without. Grrr @ I will have to go to the doctor today, because my employer is asking for a doctor's excuse already. Why can't they be like regular employers who wait until the third day? By law, they are supposed to wait until the third day. One big thing that has me worried is that I am behind in my work. One of my charts is being audited today and the paperwork is not in the file. Also this week is when they are going to evaluate us... another risk of whether they keep me or not and here I am at home sick...

My head feels as if somebody hit it with a sledgehammer, but I must be feeling better if I am here, writing, and making some cinnamon tea on the stove. I love the way the smell of cinnamon tea fills the whole apartment when it's brewing...

We last three people last week: Ed McMann, Michael Jackson, and Farrah Faucett. We heard a little bit about Ed and Farrah, but Michael's music has been playing for days... but I will write more about that later...

I apologize for not visiting as much as I should. I keep promising myself I am going to get to it, and then something unexpected happens... like getting sick. Grrr...

I had a strange dream. I will need to write about that soon...

Make a Splash!

2009-06-23T18:43:00.005-05:00

Snag or Tag!

Just remember to let others know where you got it!

http://womanintheglassbox.blogspot.com/

@->----

I am playing the guinea pig at work... I have to take the boys to court all week. There is a batch of boys that go to morning court, which usually lasts until noon or later, and then, I have to bring them back and pick up a different batch of boys to take to afternoon court, which usually lasts until close to 5 p.m. Yesterday, I only had 1/2 hour for lunch. Today, I only got 5 minutes to eat lunch. Tomorrow is Wednesday. We do updates on Wednesday, because we have staffing on Thursday, but how can I have updates if I have been at court instead of working on my cases? This morning, a parent was really angry, because I haven't had a chance to make his fingerprint appointment. At court, the judge is talking in English and the interpreter is talking in Spanish, one voice blends into the other. It's like a subliminal thang! It's so embarrassing to have them catch me nodding off, but my stomach is also creating a scene all it's own with all of it's uncontrollable growling! Grrr...

@->----

Winter Is Gone BUT Summer is Here!

2009-06-19T20:19:00.004-05:00

I think it's time for a little Marilyn. LOL @ if it were up to me, I'd probably make all my tags Marilyn... This a blinkie that I made last summer. It brings back memories of all those days that I would spend time drawing and creating fashions... Mother would freak to see my designs on paper, only to see me wearing the same design a day or two later... I so love to be creative~

:::

On a happy note, the best part of this week is that Luciano Alfredo was released from the hospital and was able to go home with his Mommy. His nourishment will require special treatment, but hopefully, he will grow to be big and strong...

:::

This week has not had enough hours in it... I usually stay at least an hour after work and I am still behind! Today is Friday. I usually leave at 5:00 on Fridays but today, I stayed until 6:30, trying to finish up on a couple of cases that I have been trying to complete since last week!

:::

On Wednesday, Ms. Tiara said that the big bosses were yelling at The Eye behind closed doors. They were mad because he is always making the receptionist do things for him and he is not her boss. I don't know what else they got after him about, except that they moved him into the office where they had my friend, the supervisor that he and the clique got fired. He has been doing a lot of trainings. I think Monday may be the last day we see him next week before he goes on vacation. I don't know when he is going to stop being our boss, but I think it is going to be soon. That means Spelling Bee will be taking over. I don't know if she will get his job, but she has seniority over Betty Crocker and myself because she has been there the longest. She can be just as mean and hateful. I hope they will not hire her for the job. Really, I don't know if they can, without credentials...

:::

Next week, I am going to play the guinea pig. I will be going to court with the kids all week. Grrr @ I don't know how I am going to do my work. I wish a different person could go on certain days but to be gone all week? I don't know how that is going to work, because it is going to set me further behind at getting the families reunified, which is the main purpose of my work.

:::

:::Sensual:::

2009-06-14T20:26:00.003-05:00

Just swinging by

to post a tag that I made today.

This one was difficult to make,

but it came out a little better

than I thought it would. LOL

As always,all my tags are

snaggable or taggable.

Just remember to let others know

where you got them.

FootNotes

2009-06-10T22:11:00.006-05:00

Where do I start?! My blood pressure has been really high this week. On Monday, I had to call in SICK. Although I wasn't feeling well, I thought I needed to take advantage of my day off, so I tried to go get Jones' license plates. As it turned out, I was told I couldn't register him, because I had a lapse in insurance last year when I was without a job and had that big vehicle run into Jones. I was told that I would not be able to keep him, that I had to sell him. Sell him? OMG... Here it was already noon. I had wasted the entire morning trying to get him registered... I didn't have enough money to buy a car cash. All I had was the money that I was going to use to move... I didn't know if I could get credit... I just went in FAITH. I told God: I don't know where to look, Lord, but I need to buy another car today. Otherwise, how am I going to get to work? There are no buses in the Valley and I live an hour away from work. Car salesmen always try to steer you wrong. Please lead me towards someone who will provide me with what I need... Jones kept going past the first dealer we came across. I guess he knew where he was going. We stopped at the next dealer. I didn't even look at the prices. I automatically saw a silver car and a black car and assumed they must be the cheapest ones. When the salesman asked me what I was looking for, I told him I wanted something reliable and cheap and it had to have air. Apparently, I was right about the two cars, but I was surprised that the black car was cheaper than the silver car, because it looked nicer. Yes, I have a 2001 Chrysler Sebring. Yes, it was the black car... I actually cried when I had to say goodbye to Jones. It was like losing a good friend...

When I got home, I called my daughter, but she didn't answer. I tried calling the hospital and found her there. Luciano Alfredo came into the world on Monday morning, June 8, 2009, at 10:30 a.m. He is two months early. My daughter was out of it, because of the medications, but when I called later, she was panicky because they wouldn't allow her to see him. He was on an IV and hooked up to tubes. She was worried that he wouldn't know her or want her. She was upset that the nurses were not helping her to pump. Her milk was not flowing, so she was afraid that she would not be able to feed him. I tried to get her to calm down so her body would allow the milk to come, although it is hard to comfort your child when she is six hours away... It has been hard for me to concentrate on my work, so I am not doing so well. I am behind in my work big time. I hope I will be able to do better tomorrow, although I have asked for Friday off so I can go visit her and the baby over the weekend. I have a feeling that she will go home before the baby does, however... Last night she was finally allowed to see him. He is weighing only four pounds. He is very little. Today, he was able to latch on, although he was full when they brought him to her. Hopefully, he will have a better day tomorrow. I would hate for her to have to leave the hospital without him... That would be so sad...

The third thing that happened is that the Eye asked me to sit in for him at the administrative meeting because he had to conduct a training. At the meeting, the main boss said that he has an open door policy. I asked him if that was true. He asked me what I meant. I told him that we were told that if we talked to him, we would be written up. What is scary is that he asked me to put it in writing in an email... The program director showed up at the case management office and wrote on a piece of paper for me to write the email. I think it brough suspicion with my coworkers, because although I tried to write it, the one who is the Eye's right arm kept coming up to the copy machine because it is on my side of the room. I think she was trying to see what I was up to. I am frightened about what could happen. I am not a snitch, but it sounds to me as if the Eye is in trouble, because the program director says there is a reason why he is going to be a trainer instead of our supervisor. I was so nervous that I don't even remember what I wrote on the email but I hope it won't mess me up with the girls, because the Eye's right arm is always hinting that I am not going to have a job.

I had to go by the dealer's today to sign some papers. The dealer had gone with a different bank and got my payment down cheaper. Jones was there! His fender bender had been repaired and he had a bath. He already had a price tag on him. I was going to go see him, but one of the men had taken him on an errand. I told the dealer that I want him to go to a good home. He said that he will be a blessing for someone who will not be able to afford to get an expensive car. Yes, Jones was always dependable and he will be a wonderful blessing to someone else... I just pray that God will continue to bless me by helping me to pay off my new used car so that I can continue to be a blessing to others. I keep wondering what to name him, but I keep thinking of him as my Black Knight... Is that a good name for him? Any other suggestions?

Motherhood

2009-05-31T12:54:00.003-05:00

As always, thank you so much for being my angels and keeping me in your prayers. It is a shame that I had to wait until I grew up to find you. I can only imagine how much better my life would have been if you had been in my life always...

* * *

Children don't come with a manual. I thought I had done an excellent job at motherhood, considering that I had no blue print except for the type of mother that I didn't want to be. So naturally, it came as a complete shock to discover how upset my youngest daughter has been with me. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong except that I have not been there for her. Not been there for her? OMG @ where did that come from? The miles keep us apart, but surely, she knows that she is never far from me, because I carry her and her sister in my heart... always... So after several weeks of the silent treatment, she finally opened up and we are talking again... She's going through another high risk pregnancy... I worry a lot about her when she is pregnant, because it is hard to see all the pain and suffering that she goes through. She is healthy, but she has to have injections every week so she will not lose the baby. This week, she had to go to the hospital on Wednesday and she had to return to the hospital on Friday. She is supposed to go home today, but I don't think she's been released yet. Living most of my life without my mother, I never realized that when children grow up, they still need their mommy.

* * *

I am anxious, because I am behind in my work. This week, I was not able to turn in any cases, because they have not been paying for us to be able to do the background checks. I had to give the ones I had to Spelling Bee, because The Eye made me. He said her case took priority, mostly because that kid has been a behavior problem lately. That means that I have had to sit on a case for two weeks, because I have not been able to do the background check. I was able to release three kids last week, which is good, but I'm back at the drawing board on Monday. They were supposed to give us 5 each but even Betty Crocker had to give her one. Grrr... On Friday, my Sponsor missed his flight, because The Eye made us have a meeting and he didn't care that the Sponsor and the Minor had to leave to buy the ticket. In my family, I have never been the favorite. I am experiencing the same thing at work.

* * *

I had made up my mind that I was going to take the two bedroom apartment, but on the day after Labor Day, I forgot my wallet. On Wednesday, she told me to hold off, because the man might be moving out of the one-bedroom apartment... so I am still suffering through the heat in my old apartment. Still, I don't question the ways of the Lord... If he is holding off, it has to be for a reason.

* * *

Jones has been ill, also. Yesterday, he needed a radiator flush, so that's where we were most of the day. The mechanic's wife was not there. To my surprise, he didn't charge me to flush the radiator...

* * *

My body feels so tired... I have so much to do at home, but I am feeling too lazy for housework. All I have done so far is wash clothes. I hope I can get my energy up, but for now, my body just wants to rest...

The top tag is snaggable, but the bottom one is not. This is a tag I made from my daughter's pregnancy photograph. Luc is pronounced Luke. His name will be Luciano Alfredo. I love it! It's so Italian.

Honor Their Sacrifice

2009-05-24T15:31:00.004-05:00

In loving memory of all who sacrified their lives

so that we could be free, including my Daddy.

Update

2009-05-19T19:36:00.003-05:00

Why is it that when one part of your life goes a little bit right, something else falls apart?!# Basically, I have been kicking butt at work. My original plan was to complete at least two cases per week, but Spelling Bee caught on to my game so now she is trying to complete two per week. That's why I have been focusing on three per week for the past two weeks!... My fast work is making them look bad, so the She-Devils have gotten off their butts instead of only doing the minimum on their cases... ha ha @ even Betty Crocker who has the brownest nose and thinks she is so perfect. I over-hear them saying the same words to their sponsors that I do. LOL... I see them surprised that I know the names of some of their kids. LOL... After all, I am the ONLY one who talks to the boys everyday instead of once a week...

@->----

I have a great relationship with my boys. They can see how hard I work for them... Unlike my co-workers, everything that I do is not for my own glory or to look good in front of my supervisors. Everything that I do is for the good of my boys and they know it... Several direct care workers have told me that many of the boys wish that I could be their case worker instead of Betty Crocker or Spelling Bee. Both of them have had boys that have run away. I hope I never have a boy that runs away. That would be really hard for me, to know that a boy didn't have enough faith in me to help him...

@->----

I am not sure, but I think that even the Eye has noticed the increase in my performance. One thing for sure is that the Eye is a jealous god! He told us that if we went above him, he will write us up and he doesn't want us to talk to any other people about our cases except for him. That's just stupid that he wants to be in so much control. I have seen that in women bosses, but a man boss? That's just wierd.

@->----

The thing that I am hurt about, I cannot write about right now. Thank God that I have work to drown myself in...

@->----

My best friend came down from Corpus Christi to visit with me on Saturday. We went to the outlet mall, and we shared a meal at Chili's. All I've got to say is that my feet hurt. LOL... But it was a good little escape...

@->----

My brother's truck is not working. Mother is all worried about him, as always, but especially now because of his truck, because he makes a living cutting lawns and doing landscaping. It's funny how she always tries to protect him and rescue him, even if he is 54 years old. LOL

@->----

What's even more funny is that she has ten acres, her house is a patchwork, and yet, there is not even room enough for her. All that property and all those rooms, but there is no room for anyone...

@->----

That got me to thinking about my apartment... God said that we are supposed to expand our tent... To save money, I have been renting a one-bedroom apartment. Perhaps the reason why I have not found an apartment is because I need to expand my tent... I know that it is more expensive, but I have wasted six months of thinking "what if." I have been abusing Jones, going back and forth to a job that is an hour away. I have been abusing my body by eating only what I can put into a refrigerator. Yes, I have made up my mind that I am going to put the deposit down on that two-bedroom townhouse. Somehow, I will sacrifice costs on other things so I can afford to live there. The one thing I was counting on, however, is for my brother to help me to move, and now, his truck is not working, so I will need to find an alternative way to move.

@->----

Deeply apologetic at falling behind on making tags. Will get to it asap.

@->----

Thanks for listening.

Friends

2009-05-17T16:34:00.003-05:00

I am going through something hard to talk about right now, so I am just leaving a tag. As always, you may snag or I will tag for you. Thanks for being here.

XX

2009-05-03T08:49:00.002-05:00

Monday was a Monday! I don't usually use an eyelash curler, and now I know why! Instead of curling my lashes, the eyelash curler took off a bunch of my lashes! Grrr.. I read up on how to get your eyelashes back & it is recommended to use petroleum jelly on your lashes before you go to sleep, so once again, I am forced to play the guinea pig of my dilemmas.

Sometimes, I put in a few electric curlers to give my hair a little lift, but on Monday morning, my curlers finally gave out! OMG @ they are REALLY old, so I know I will not be able to find some like them. Grrr...

I know other things happened that morning but my mind must have chosen to block them out! LOL... What I do remember is that it was very unusual for a cop to be traveling all the way from my home to my work. Yep! You heard right! So there was no way that I could have driven a little over the speed limit! Grr to the 3rd power...

When I got to work, I was able to complete one case to turn it in for approval... Yay!... but the airfare for the case from last week had not come in yet. Grrr... If the money came in on time, the plan was to get him on that plane on Thursday for him to be reunited with his family...

On Tuesday, I was able to submit two more cases for approval, but the man who reviews them was out on vacation until Friday. Grrr.... LOL @ so many Grrs this week...

On Wednesday, the family I was expecting the airfare money from called to tell me that the money order was returned because no one signed for it. Grrr @ the post office people never left us a note to tell us the letter was there and I know this because I checked the mail every day! Grrr...

Wednesday was the one year employment anniversary of one of the She-Devils that I work with, so I had to go out to eat with all the She-Devils. Grrr @ I was praying all day long over that! Of course, they only like to go to Mexican restaurants and there was really nothing on the menu that I wanted, so I tried the Spinach and Mushroom enchiladas. Yuk! Something I will never buy again... I just remained quiet and talked only when spoken to. Absolutely no bonding whatsoever there! They have missed their chances with me, because I have learned that they are people that I can never trust...

On Thursday, the auditors showed up at 4:50 p.m. What the ?!!@#. We couldn't leave until almost 8 p.m. I didn't get home until almost 9 & you know I am on salary! Grrr...

On Friday, a very angry man who had not seen his kid in 11 years insisted that he wanted to see his son. What the ?!!@# @ you abandoned your son 11 years ago. What's one more day of waiting?! EXPLAIN it to me, PLZ!!!!!!! Grrr @ I practically had to almost complete a case that takes about 2 weeks in four hours?! Grrr...

On Saturday, I finally went to get an Eye exam, because I cannot super-glue my glasses any more! Grrr... When I got there, I was surprised to discover that I had not been there since 2005. What?!!!!!!! Four years ago?! No wonder I have been having problems with my glasses... I got a contact and an eyeglasses prescription, which was $85.00. OMG! So instead of getting, glasses, I decided to get contacts first. Another big expense but I had to order them, because they didn't have them in stock. Grrr...

Today is Sunday and I ate before I weighed in so I don't know if I lost any weight this week. Grrr... LOL @ I hope all the GRRs won't forward over into this week... When will it get better?!

XX
Winivere

Update

2009-04-22T20:56:00.004-05:00

My boss called me in today to tell me again to shape up my attitude and to be more professional. Say WHAT?!@# It is their word against mine, but there's four of them and only one of me, so he doesn't care what I have to say. It was easy for them to get their supervisor, my friend, fired. How much easier will it be for them to do the same to me?! The Eye sees only what they want him to see. Please pray for me to find another job somewhere else before it is too late. Guess this is why I never found an apartment in the area where I work!

-=-For the Ladies-=-

2009-04-21T22:31:00.001-05:00

If you like it, you better put a ring on it!

LOL

:::TWISTED:::

2009-04-20T19:18:00.004-05:00

LOL @ I love this graphic... Reminds me of Youth Leadership Camp... teehee...

As always, the weekend was too short! It's Monday and it's back to work with the She-Devils. Grrr... Too bad I can't ask them questions because they never answer them...

I had a Sponsor come to visit with one of my kids. Tomorrow, I have 2 Sponsors coming... I have a kid who ages out on Saturday. That means the case has to be turned in, approved, and airfare needs to be in by Friday but the case is still incomplete. The Eyes spoke to us after work, because he wants us to help with transportation. He is showing favoritism again, sending me to court to sit there doing nothing in the lobby when he knows that I have an airfare ticket to pick up and I have two visits scheduled. Why can't he send the one who doesn't have anything to do? Is he testing me to see if I will rebel?! Is he trying to get me to quit or to speak out of turn to give him the ammunition to fire me?!#

I wish I could work with people who value my worth instead of people who try to wipe their feet on me as if I were some sort of doormat...

For the kids... I have to remind myself over and over again... I am there for the kids I serve, not for The Eye or for the people who think they are so superior because they are married with a second income and money to burn.... Single people... we have it rough when we are down, because we have no one to lift us up, but I can't help but remember the words of one of the boys who said that all of their husbands are fat and ugly. No wonder they are always PMS-ing. LOL...

Deeply apologetic for all the venting, but if I don't do it, I'll go MAD, I tell ya! MAD! MAD! LOL

:::The Guardian:::

2009-04-19T12:52:00.003-05:00

Every day on the way to work, I recite the 23rd Psalm, the Lord's Prayer, the Hail Mary, the Glory Be, the Prayer to my Guardian Angel, and then, I adlib a short prayer to ask God to be with me throughout the day, to thank Him for the Blessings in my life, and to Bless and Protect the people I love... but one day last week, I just didn't have it in me to say my prayers...

@->----

LIFE with the people I work with has been such a horrible series of events... I don't fit in... I do my work, but I do not say a word unless if I am asked something about my cases. I am not part of the click... It's as bad as my first marriage: see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, have no fun. Just be a "yes" person, just be passive, just do what they tell you. Don't bother to have ideas. Don't bother to have opinions. Don't bother to have a personality! LOL...

@->----

Everyday that I am there, I keep telling myself that I am not there to be friends with the She-Devils... I am there for the people I serve... If I go to another job, it will just be geography, because jealousy always follows me wherever I go... Being single is hard, because I cannot put my head on anybody's shoulder when I feel down... I just have to bite my tongue and keep on going...

@->----

But the morning after the day that I couldn't pray, I opened the car door to get into my car... and there it was... There was a little white feather on the floor in the back of the driver's seat. How did it get there? It wasn't as if the wind had blown it in... Nobody gets into my car but me... I have not been around feathers ever since Tidbit passed away...

@->----

... I smiled to myself, knowing that my Guardian Angel left a little feather behind... just a tiny reminder that He is always there to Guide me, to Protect me, to Comfort me and to LOVE me, even if there are no humans in my life to hug me...

@->----

:::Well beHAVED Women:::

2009-04-17T05:59:00.004-05:00

What a week this has been! Thank God It's FRIDAY!!!!!!! On Tuesday, I had to take a drug screening at work. On Wednesday, I was written up for multiple allegations and a warning to behave. I was warned that if I tried to defend myself, it would count against me. That's what I get for trusting the She-Devils. What was I thinking?!!! Obviously, it was a hung jury! On Thursday, I was forced to drive the van again. Yesterday, my goal was to make it through the day without crying... On top of that, there are other personal issues that I really don't want to deal with right now. Prayers requested here! Grrr @ when will it get better?!

XX,

Winivere =.)

-=REFLECTIONS=-

2009-04-12T15:31:00.002-05:00

Good Friday is always a reminder of the day I died. It is hard to believe that was 29 years ago. I only asked Him to keep me alive until my girls were prepared for life. To me, that meant after they received their education and were ready to face the world, but God continues to keep me on this earth. I do not know why I am still here. I only know that God still wants me here.

-=-

So here I am, reflecting on my life 29 years later... Once was a time when I scratched my claws through life to better myself for the sake of my children. Once was a time when I would go through any sacrifice for them. My body was strong and my mind was alert... It was as if I was invincible... Somehow, I managed to get myself through college. Somehow I managed to juggle home, work, and school while trying to play both roles of mom and dad...

-=-

As I read through this year's entries, I recognize that I continue to be stuck within the wheels of survival... With injury after injury, my body is no longer as strong and my mind is no longer as alert... My mind and my body are tired, but single people, like me, have no other choice but to keep working in order to continue to stay alive... I wish there was something that I could do to change having to be stuck at survival all the time. How can I get ahead?!#

-=-

Happy Easter

2009-04-11T21:30:00.005-05:00

LOL @ kinky rabbits and chicks!?!!# Hope everyone is having a great Easter holiday...

It has been a screaming kind of week... Because I was out one week, I had to catch up with two... Unfortunately, I wasn't in the office the whole time. On Tuesday, I had to overcome my fear, because I was forced to drive the van. On Wednesday, my coworker said the Eye said I had to take five kids to court. When I got to court, they laughed at us, because we were a month early... On Thursday, we had to be outside with the kids, because we had an Easter Field Day for the kids. The kids got to fly kites, hunt for Easter eggs, and play games like a water balloon toss and a 3-legged race... OMG @ I never really got caught up, but at least I was able to submit one case for approval...

The She-Devils are still being mean and hurtful. Defending myself has not worked. I wonder what they would do if I cried... Maybe I need to take out my acting skills for a spin... I hate bullies... It's like reliving my childhood all over again... What do She-Devils do on the Sabbath?

:::SCREAM LOUDLY HERE:::

2009-04-08T06:26:00.001-05:00

iiiiiiiSCREAM!!!!!!!!

:::SCREAM Quietly HERE:::

2009-04-07T06:26:00.002-05:00

I hope this entry won't need a lot of d's because I am not going to take the time to cut an* paste them on this entry... Mon*ay, I ha* to turn in my *octor's excuse by 5:00. My *octor comes in the afternoon, so I ha* to wait to call him. The receptionist is an airhea*. She never gets the excuse right. This time was no exception. She *i*n't but if I was able or unable to return to work or on what *ay. She put "until further notice," so of course my employer *i*n't accept it. At 3:00 p.m. (after I ha* worke* all *ay), they tol* me to go to the *octor to get the excuse correcte*, because the *octor sai* they are not able to fax an excuse. As usual, the receptionist fille* it out wrong twice. The last one, she went over the able-unable part, but refuse* to fill it out again, so we'll see if my employer accepts it or not.

When I showe* the excuse to my employer yester*ay, he sai* that I will not be able to return if it is for light *uty because they nee* for me to *rive an* to *o a take-*own if nee*e*. What? When I was hire*, I was not tol* that I woul* have to *rive. That is what *irect care workers *o. I wipe* out all of my time, so I will not be able to take any time off an* I might not have the time to take off for camp in August. Is it time to look for another job?

XX

First Day Back at Work

2009-04-06T05:35:00.003-05:00

I go back to work today. My body is hurting. Prayers requested today, please. Doctor said to play today by ear. If I don't feel well, he said for me to go back to see him. That would be another $30 and I have already spent $60 last week, not counting medications. I didn't get the medications for the infection because that woulc be another $88! Grrr... I hope I can make it through the day.

You Make My Heart BLOOM

2009-04-02T12:24:00.003-05:00

Thank you for all the Get Well wishes... Besides the pulled ligament and the high blood pressure, I think I have some kind of infection that went overlooked... The medication makes me sleepy, so I have been sleeping a lot, which is good for my recovery. The pain killers are pretty good. Yesterday, I was able to wash the dishes and clean up a little bit, but I wasn't able to finish, because my head hurts so bad and there is a lot of pressure in my eyes... so I have been spending most of my time resting and sleeping. Today, I spent all morning sleeping, which is very unusual for me, so that tells you that I am sick!

I am surprised that there is absolutely nothing good to watch on TV during the day... Yesterday, some doctors were talking about sex but even that was boring. LOL... For those of you who are married, why are you married if you don't have sex? I just don't get it...

The Waiting Room

2009-04-01T08:27:00.005-05:00

My boss said that I would need an excuse to return to work, so I had to go in to see the doctor... Getting down the stairs was kind of tricky, but by the grace of God, I made it into the parking lot. I told Jones that I needed his help and gently asked him not to fail me now! Well, we made it, although I was painfully limping from my car into the doctor's office...

I gave the receptionist my insurance card, and I waited. I think that waiting is a prerequisite for you to determine if you are really sick enough to wait for the doctor or healthy enough to stick it out at home... Unfortunately, I had to be there, because the Eye said so... And so I wait in the lobby...

Finally, the nurse comes for me and just about has a heart attack over my blood pressure reading... So for the next hour or so, she has me resting between multiple blood pressure readings, but of course, all the readings are the same! Hello @ that stupid woman doctor I saw the last time ignored me when I told her I needed blood pressure medication... So FINALLY, I am called into WAITing Room #2... where the patients wait for the doctor... Thank God there were no vaginas staring down on me. Believe me, posters of vaginas do not help to keep me entertained for the entire time that they make me wait...

Finally, the doctor showed up. The first thing he did was apologize for the wait, because some man chewed him out the day before for making him wait so long... I told him that I had actually been waiting for him since 8:00 a.m., when my boss told me that I had to see a doctor, because I specifically wanted to see him instead of the woman doctor, so for me, it was worth the wait... He looked at my leg and was surprised that the ankle bone was very swollen as well. He explained that even though such an injury would probably require an MRI reading to see what is actually wrong, the insurance requires for them to have an X-ray first. This seems kind of stupid, because an X-ray is only going to show the bones. LOL @ maybe insurance people need some kind of "Medical Tests for Dummies" manual...

And so, NOW they decide I need a wheelchair. LOL... I am wheeled away to the X-ray room to pose my leg for the X-ray shoot, but of course, the X-ray comes back reading as normal... Then, I am wheeled into a different room... a scary room full of vaginas. ::::SCREAM QUIETLY:::: The doctor returns with my chart in hand. He says the last time I had a blood test to see how my kidneys, etc, were functioning was in 2007, so he ordered Eddie the vampire to draw blood... As usual, the vampire could not find my veins, so he drew blood from the veins on my hand, which didn't hurt at all. Wow! And so, the doctor says he wants me out the rest of the week and I am to return on Friday to get re-evalutated. If all is well, I will be able to return on Monday... If not, he will need to order an MRI. He prescribed some pain killers and put me back on blood pressure medication... Eddie wheeled me to my car...

Then, I went to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Yep @ it was another long wait..... Grrr...

So here I am this morning... I think my blood pressure is still bad, because my head feels as if someone split it in two with a hatchet. OUCH!

iiiSUPER FREAK!!!

2009-03-31T07:18:00.005-05:00

Grrr @ me & my FREAKY accidents! Last night, I was taking the trash down the stairs. All of a sudden, I feel a sharp pain on the back of my calf. At first I thought it might have been a Charlie horse, but then, it snapped! OUCH!!! I couldn't go any further down the stairs. There I was in tears, praying for someone to come to help me. All of a sudden, the man with the noisy kids comes out of his apartment. I asked him to help me. He went back into his apartment to get his wife and daughter to help me up and took my trash to the trash bin... I cannot walk and it still hurts like OUCH!!!... I was so ready to zoom through my work at work, but it looks as if I am not going to be able to go in today, so here I am with a "frozen porkchops ice pack" on the back of my calf while I thaw out my pork chops for lunch. LOL

MORAL OF THE STORY: Taking out the trash: Don't try this at home!

If you hurt your leg, look in the freezer to see what you can thaw out for dinner and use it as an ice pack! LOL

A Little Birdie Told Me

2009-03-29T15:34:00.002-05:00

Ah, sweet Spring... the little birdies are chirping their cheerful songs at my window... Why must the weekend be so short?!

******

I was working so fast from Monday through Thursday that when Friday finally showed up, I was completely exhausted. I felt dehydrated and so tired and sleepy... It was hard to concentrate. I lost count at how many cases I am trying to complete at the same time... I am just grabbing them as people call and send in their documents and forms... I continue to waste a lot of time on the cases of the two kids who have been there since December, but I don't know why their Sponsors are waiting until the last minute to turn everything in... I wish they would hurry up, because it breaks my heart to watch them watch all the other kids leave... All in all, I turned in three cases for approval but it took them a whole week to approve the first one. Unfortunately, she sent an email to my coworkers to say that it was approved, but she didn't put my email address on the email and it was my case! And of course, my coworkers failed to tell me that my case was approved. Grrr... So the next one was approved also, but I am still waiting on the third one...

*****

Since my coworkers spend a lot of time talking to each other and Betty Crocker spends a lot of time talking to her husband on the phone, I was looking at the new form that lists what we are doing with our cases. The form travels from each worker to complete her part and then it goes to the next worker, etc, until the form is complete. In the middle of the month, the Eye said we have only had five reunifications this month. Last week, I submitted three cases for approval but the people who approve them took so long that I know I will not be able to have any Family Reunifications by Monday (which is the last day of the month), because I am waiting for money for airfare... Looking at the notes on last week's form, it looks as if neither one of my coworkers have Reunifications in the works. The cases they have require little or no work whatsoever except to wait for court... Betty Crocker, as usual, writes all this stuff on her notes and then ends it by saying that she doesn't have a fax number to send the forms to the families. LOL ... And so, in April, I plan to storm through my cases as quickly as possible to show The Eye that I am a valuable employee, no matter who gets jealous or what! LOL @ phooey to Betty Crocker and Spelling Bee and their stupid PMS!

*****

Another Sad Day

2009-03-26T19:11:00.003-05:00

What a sad day when you lose a friend. Today, I lost two... one of them is being transferred to another Shelter, but the one I will miss most is the one who started work on the same day as I did. Yes, one of the M&M girls was terminated. It is scary for someone to get terminated from one day to the next. Makes me afraid to get an apartment closer to work. What if I end up with higher rent and no money to pay the rent? Moving there is also scary because there are fewer jobs in the area...

Personally, I think she was doing a very good job, but she clashed with The Eye, & the girls under her supervision didn't like her. I clash with Betty Crocker & Spelling Bee. I hate office politics.

From the Mouths of Babes

2009-03-23T19:21:00.004-05:00

Something very unusual happened today... I was approached by one of the kids that belongs to Betty Crocker. He said that he has noticed the way I work. He says that he has heard me calling the parents and the Sponsors to get them to send what is needed for the kids cases. He says that I have managed to reunite many kids with their families within a few weeks. OMG @ I had no idea that he was paying attention to my work! The direct care workers said that the kids talk about their workers amongst themselves. OMG @ what a blessing for my work to be recognized by the kids!

@->----

He wanted to know what he could do to be placed on my caseload, because Betty Crocker does not move to help him. My heart goes out to this boy. I know where he is coming from, because when I inherited the cases that she transferred to me, it was like pulling teeth just to get phone numbers for the Sponsors or the parents. She depends too much on stickies and those things get lost or stick to the wrong places. Just this morning, I found one of her stickies of a closed case in an active file.

@->---

One bad thing is that Betty Crocker walked by when the boy was talking to me. I hope she doesn't ask me why I was talking to him. I don't want to disrespect anybody's work any more than I would like for them to disrespect mine.

@->----

Spring Fling~ Think Spring!

2009-03-22T08:06:00.005-05:00

This was a week that literally pushed at all my anxiety buttons. OMG @ the week threatened to set me back every single day!"

On Monday, the phones and the internet were not working. I was fortunate to be able to do some work from my little "memory" stick. Otherwise, I probably would have followed in my co-workers' shoes: playing with their cell phones, text messaging themselves right in front of each other...

On Tuesday, we couldn't print from our computers.

On Wednesday, we were short on direct care workers, so I had to accompany a Minor to court. Fortunately, the Eye drove us so I didn't have to drive the van. I am not looking forward to driving the van. I am hoping they will get more direct care workers so we won't have to do it... Anyways, as I was saying before I interrrupted myself: I wasted all morning sitting in the waiting lobby, because the court assistant wouldn't let me into court. I later found out that no one is allowed into court. How lame is that? The purpose for someone going with the Minor is in case the Minor becomes disruptive in court...

On Thursday, we had staffing in the morning on all of the cases, so I lost the morning...

They split up my Group B and scattered my kids into different groups, so now all of the new kids that are coming in are creating a brand new group B. That is bad for me, because it means that there is more probability for me to have a higher caseload because of this. That also means that I have to make the time to sneak in an Orientation between all the maddening competition of all of people who are required to make contact with them on "day one" of their time at the shelter.

On Friday morning, the firemen showed up to do a presentation with the kids and I had to be out there with the kids... It was so H-O-T. Why is it always so HOT in the Valley?! Grrr @ Jones' air condition is not working. That's more money I will have to give to the mechanic. Oh God, please let it only be that he needs more freon!

So counting... the actual amount of time that I was able to work this week was approximately three afternoons which is approximately 12 hours? OMG!!! I guess I didn't do so bad then! My two oldest cases are still trailing behind, but I was able to turn in one case for approval, and I was able to convince four Sponsors to start sending in the beginning paperwork so I've jumped a big giant step for Reunifications on Monday! I hope I didn't miss any filing or extensions last week...

I don't remember if I mentioned the man who was looking for me at my previous job. I do not remember what he looks like, but my friend Daisy put him in touch with me. Now I am paying the price, because he calls and calls. The last time I talked to him, he was like "give me some kind of hope that you will go out with me sometime." OMG @ I don't know whether to nickname him Fatal Attraction or Psycho. LOL

I am still looking for an apartment. Comparing prices and space, I am still considering the two bedroom townhouse. It is a shame that the one bedroom is not available. It would have been perfect.

2009-03-14T19:02:00.006-05:00

Last Monday, my goal for the week was for at least one Family Reunification. What came as a total surprise, however, is that I released five kids from the Shelter this week! The massive turn-out kept me so busy that it set me behind in my paperwork again... Next week, they are coming to check our charts (files), so I hope I can get caught up... I am still trying to find a way to organize my work so that I don't end up getting overwhelmed when the census goes up...

@->----

One unusual thing that happened this week is that I got the nerve to talk to The Eye about Betty Crocker's attitude. I do not like to point fingers. She is not one to keep secrets from her friends and she is friends with the click. That means that she will spread the news to her friends about me telling on her, so I would end up being hated by all of them instead of just one. That is why I suggested a different approach: setting it up as a training about how to behave around coworkers, stressing the importance of teamwork and no more whispering!

@->----

The more I get to know her, the more I am able to see right through her... She is a very selfish person. Her timing at bragging on herself in front of the boss is unbelievable. She doesn't like it if my work is faster or better than hers. She wants to be known as the better worker. At staffing, she takes center stage whenever it is her turn. She just loves all the attention, as if she is the only one at the staffing with something to say. Regardless of whatever work she does, the children do not really warm up to her. If they did, she would have more of their art than any of us, but she only has about three.

@->----

I was the last one hired, but my display of the children's art is beginning to look more like wallpaper, because there is so much of it. LOL ... I love it! Makes me happy. My greatest reward is not the money in my pocket but the appreciation I receive from the kids and their families.

@->----

Well, it looks as if the couple who were renting the apartment that I want to rent broke up after all, but the man stayed in the apartment. The landlady at the apartments says it is rare for a one bedroom apartment to open up. She is trying to get me to rent a 2-bedroom... That was my original thought, but I am still thinking about it, because I had my heart set on the one-bedroom....

-=-Lucky?!#-=-

2009-03-08T17:35:00.008-05:00

.............................................

I have never been lucky enough to receive a quarter from the Tooth Fairy. I have never been lucky at games of chance. I have never been lucky to win anything that I didn't work hard for. I have never been lucky in love. Could it be that LOVE is a game of chance?

@->----

They say Irish people are lucky, and if you kiss someone who is Irish, you will be lucky, too... So what makes kissing one person luckier than kissing another? Shouldn't it be lucky just to be kissed?

@->----

So maybe I am NOT Irish, and maybe I do not know where leoprochans hang out. I do not have any lucky charms, and I have never seen a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but at least, in America, you can keep your leprochans, because we are lucky enough to have the real Patrick!

@->----

:::Saying Goodbye:::

2009-03-08T11:06:00.005-05:00

What made us good friends ~ you and I?

I think I know the reason why...

The best in me and the best in you...

Held each other because they knew...

That always and always since time began...

Our being friends was part of God's plan...

This is a poem that I wrote in High School... One of my classmates liked it and asked me for it. I wish I had not been stupid enough to give it to him, because years later, he published it and did not give me credit for it! OMGG @ that is NOT the only time that I have written something that I have not been given credit for....

But as you can see, I still remember the poem, word for word... And it seems only fitting that I should dedicate it to Tidbit in this post...

When I left my job with the Mentally Ill, a client who looks like Patrick Dempsey gave me a male cockatiel. He mowed yards for a living, and before I left, he said that he wanted to take me to lunch. I can only imagine his sacrifice to cut yards just to take me to lunch, but he insisted and said that it meant a lot to him to do that for me. Billy was one of my favorite clients. It was hard to say goodbye ~ for both of us. The last thing he told me was to take care of his bird...

The male cockatiel loved to dance and he would always whistle at me when I would get dressed in the morning, so I named him Mad Max Over the Caged Dome...

Another client raised cockatiels. I am ashamed to say that I don't remember her name, but she was the one who gave me Tidbit. Tidbit was a young bird. She was handfeed as a baby. She already had a name, so I didn't change it...

Tidbit and Max were always fighting, because Max wanted sex and Tidbit wasn't old enough to mate... But that didn't stop Max from being his usual cheerful fun self. Years passed and then all of a sudden, I hear this noise coming from the cage. They were having sex all of the time. OMG @ did they every take a break?! Well, it was about that time that Tidbit started to produce eggs. Max insisted that Tidbit should sit on the eggs, but she had never been a mother before, so she just thought he was being macho about it. They started fighting over who should sit on the eggs. One day before Thanksgiving, I found Max at the bottom of the cage. Tidbit had pecked him to death because he kept bothering her about sitting on the eggs... Fortunately, my daughter and my son-in-law came for a visit that year and my son-in-law took Max out of the apartment. Tidbit went into a deep depression. She wouldn't eat and she wouldn't drink water. She just sat on the eggs and was very sad. I had to take the eggs out and try to help her out of the depression. She survived, but now, she was a widow... It was sad for me when Max died, especially, because I had promised Billy that I would take care of him...

Tidbit has been my friend and my companion for over ten years. She always alerted me when someone was near the apartment and she was better than a fire alarm, too! She always let me know when she needed birdseed or water. Sometime she would sing pretty and other times, she would just make a lot of noise. LOL... Like Max, she was a character. She loved attention. Sometimes I would blow bubbles at her to catch her reaction. She was a fun bird. She brought me much joy and I will miss her terribly.

I do not know the mysteries of how Tidbit died, because she died in the feed tray with her body hanging over. It is a visual that I wish I could erase from my memory. Also, because I live alone, I had to take her out of my apartment by myself... That was so hard for me, because I didn't think I would be able to do it... I had to close the blanket over her cage and I took her to the trashbin, cage and all... I am feeling guilty about not being able to give her a burial, but without help, there is no way that I could have touched her dead body to put her into the ground... I feel sad to have to put a friend into the trash, because she was not trash at all. She was a treasure that I will remember always.

When I Came Home

2009-03-05T21:11:00.004-06:00

When I came home tonight, there was a dead bird by the sidewalk. I almost stepped on it and it scared me because I hate to see things that are dead... When I came into my apartment, my bird wasn't making any noise. I whistled at her to see if she would start whistling and chirping but my little bird has passed away. It makes me feel so sad.

:::Blog Awards:::

2009-03-01T16:50:00.009-06:00

OMG... My Bad!!! My Blog has been honored with all of these awards but haven't followed through... so today seemed like a good day to get to it. Unfortunately, this my second try at trying to save this entry, so I hope it will save this time...

This award is the LOOK HOW COOL award. It is the one I received most recently, so I know where it came from. LOL... A big Thank You goes out to Alva of ADM Designs for this one... Because we are both into making Tagz and Graphics, I am assuming that he gave this to me because I love being creative. There are a lot of creative people out there, but like Obama, I like to share the wealth to those who have not been mentioned, and if you already have this award... Well, I tried! LOL...

1. Kath of My Simpler Rhymes ~ http://kath-mysimplerhymes2.blogspot.com/
2. Joyce of Tags & A Little Chatter ~ http://tagsandalittlechatter.blogspot.com/
3. Bethe of Palm Harbor ~ http://harborofpalms.blogspot.com/
4. Lorenzo of Crowned With Laurels ~ http://crownedwithlaurels.blogspot.com/

This is the Lemonade Award. Thank you, Mile101 of Come Into My Closet for nominating me for this awesome award. This award is very special to me, because it validates that no matter what happens to us in life, we can either accept to be stuck with a bunch of sour lemons or we can turn it into something wonderful, sweet, and refreshing. My life has been a living hell, but I thank God that I am not bitter about it, and that because of all that I have had to endure, I am a better person for it. Here are my picks for this award:

1. Charli of Broken Mannequin ~ http://brokenmannequin.blogspot.com/
2. Mike of Going Sane in a Crazy World ~ http://goingsaneinacrazyworld.blogspot.com/
3. Sandra of Senorita ~ http://frauleinsenorita.blogspot.com/
4. Katie of Turning the Page ~ http://lovinyou4lovinme.blogspot.com/

5. Estela of On My Weigh Down ~ http://estela-onmyweighdown.blogspot.com/

6. Lyn of Brit's Blog ~ http://lyn-britsblog.blogspot.com/

I am embarrassed to say that I do not remember who gave me this award, but if it was you, thank you for telling me that I have been an inspiration in your life... I have a ring that was given to me by my youngest daughter. Inside the ring it simply reads "My Inspiration." I still wear that ring today, because my greatest desire is to Inspire others and to be Inspired by them as well. The following blogs have been inspirational to my life:

1. Kat of The Big Journey to Change My Life ~ http://thebigjourneytochangemylife.blogspot.com/
2. Lyn of Escape from Obesity ~ http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/
3. Linda aka Pooh Girl of Linda Pooh's Thotful Spot ~http://lindapoohsthotfulspot.blogspot.com/
4. Lynne of On A Mission ~ http://lynne-is-on-a-mission.blogspot.com/

Now that you have your award, please share the LOVE.
XX

Glass Box Update ~again?!@#

2009-02-26T20:15:00.008-06:00

Jones and I were going to work on Monday, but we never made it... My boy was HOT. His velocity started slowing down. I thought for sure we would end up stranded on the Xpress-way... We started up and down the ramp into the frontage road. Jones knew exactly where he was. I started praying for us to make it just a little bit further... just a little bit more... just a little bit further... At last, we were there... right in front of the Mechanic's shop... The gate was locked... And then, I read the sign... It was Monday and the shop was closed... So then, I tell Jones not to be afraid... I pray for him to go just a little bit further... I remember the shortcut to get to Wal-Mart... I knew they wouldn't have a mechanic to help but maybe, just maybe if I bought some coolant it might help... So we are finally there. Poor Jones was so HOT... I go in and ask for some coolant and one of the oil change guys comes out to see what I am doing... He says Wal-Mart will not allow them to help with such things... Well, why did you bother to come out to see what I am doing then? I thought to myself! LOL... So he lends me a funnel and he watches me put the coolant into my car. I ask him if he has water for my car and he says he does, so he adds a little bit of water. Then I take Jones around to the other side and wait until he COOLS off... Fortunately, I got home. There was not much more that I could do for Jones that day...

@->----

On Tuesday, I had no choice but to go see if the Mechanic could check in on Jones. Once again, I prayed all the way. He was still getting HOT, but we made it to the Mechanic. I asked him if it was the water pump because of the evidence the steam left inside the hood. At first glance, he said it was. He also said that I was very lucky that Jones hadn't blown up... Ahhh... don't I know it?!! So I went into the waiting ROOM while Jones received a new transplant... Unfortunately, a SOLDIER man showed up. There he stood, in his Uniform, all cute with dimples and such... so Naturally, after he told the Mechanic his STORY about how he had to go and serve his country, even if it was only in Austin, Texas, it was his car that got worked on first while Jones was lying there, bleeding, with his guts out... So finally, the Soldier's car was fixed, and they finally took Jones into Surgery... You want how much money?! I think my Mechanic charged me too much for Labor this time... Was he hoping that I would just pay it? Well, I had to swallow my pride and just pay it, because Jones and I are a team, and I know he knew that he was injured pretty bad...

@->----

So yesterday, I got the news... The Eye wants us to paint the Medical room. It is going to be an examing room. I am not impressed with my coworkers ideas, but I went along with them. I cannot believe we are going to be painting all day tomorrow. Grrr... especially since I already donated whatever clothes I could have used to paint. Now, I don't know what I will wear...

@->----

Painting on Friday means that I only had yesterday and today to complete my work for the week. I saw all the kids on Wednesday and I worked a few cases. Today, I had a meeting in the morning. I did as many of the updates as I could and I filed them. What took a lot of my time is that I had a family who kept calling me. I talked to the sister-in-law, to the brother, and to the brother's boss. The brother wanted to take three days off to come "get his brother out of jail." I have no clue as to what the kid told him, but I spent so much time trying to calm all of them down because they were all so panicky... This means that I was not able to gather the paperwork that I needed for a case and I did not have time to complete a case to turn in for approval. How do you complete a week in two days?! Yesterday, I stayed after work for an hour and today I did the same thing, but I am no further ahead. Grrr...

@->----

Betty Crocker is no different. She continues to ask me if I have done any filing. I have a feeling she is voicing a mean streak of jealousy that streams down from conversations with the click. What is her problem?!# Immaturity?

@->----

This afternoon, I was surprised to see the receptionist filing the court documents... Has The Eye resolved the accessive filing problem by transferring the court documents to the receptionist? She is not under The Eye' s supervision... I wonder if her supervisor knows she is filing court documents...

@->----

Also, something that freaked me out is that the Eye said that one of us has been talking behind his back saying that he is demanding and forcing us to work on tomorrow's project. Was it Betty Crocker? I am sure he probably thinks it was me... I spoke up and said that it was hard for me to believe that any one of us could have said something like that... I am wondering what happened.

@->----

One fun thing is that I went to see a one bedroom apartment with a loft. Too bad the only way I might get it is if the couple who is in there splits up...

Glass Box Update

2009-02-17T20:36:00.002-06:00

I sent The Eye's boss an email this morning to ask him if he could see me today. Within minutes, the phone rang. It was him. He saw me right away! I went in a little scared but prepared to face my dragons... I told him that I wanted to know about my status at work, because I was on my last day of probation. He said so many nice things about my work... that I am very professional, that he wishes other people were as professional as I am, that The Eye was bragging at their meeting about me finishing the case last week in five days, that I have caught on quickly and that I am doing an excellent job... it just went on and on... so he said that I have nothing to worry about as far as my probation... that I am a valuable asset for the shelter... Then, he asked me if there were any problems. I told him that I have "concerns" about the women I work with. I told him about the whispers and how the girls do not want to answer my questions when I ask. I told him about the lack of privacy and how they are always watching and listening on every word... I told him about how they seem to act as if we are in competition but I am only trying to do my work... I told him about how the girls try to make me look bad in front of The Eye... He was very nice about it all. He said he would talk to The Eye about it and for me to let him know if there are any changes in their behavior. It's kind of scary to reveal these things, but he says that he does not want anyone to feel uncomfortable or harrassed at work and that he was glad that I was able to share this information with him. He even gave me his cell number to contact him if anything else should happen.

Young At Heart

2009-02-16T20:12:00.004-06:00

Spelling Bee and Betty Crocker transformed themselves into She-Devils again today. How can women be so b*tchy or is that their real selves and they only pretend to be nice when it is convenient? I can relate to men when they say they don't understand why women can be so b*tchy?! Thank God, I am not a b*tchy woman... Betty Crocker is always bending over backwards to play herself up. She always wants everybody to know when she is doing good and that she is the best worker, although it must drive her nuts because The Eye always leaves Spelling Bee in charge when he is away. Were they listening when I told The Eye that I completed "the case" last week? I didn't brag about getting it done in five days. I told my boss that I thought the case was complete, but then they asked for proof of the sister's address and then they asked for the telephone logs. I just wanted to be clear about what I would need to complete a family friend case for the next time when I have to do a case like it. Spelling Bee asked if I was going to ask for the visit on Friday as the visit that they evaluate from. She sounded offended as if I was taking a shortcut that she hadn't thought about, and she didn't like it. Grrr @ they watch everything that I do and say in my work and everything that I don't do and everything that I don't say. It is so hard working in an environment where there are no walls or privacy to do my work, because their eyes are all over me. But what I hate the most is when The Eye comes in and they try to make me nervous in front of my boss, asking me if I have done this or that.

:::dip me in CHOCOLATE:::

2009-02-15T10:08:00.003-06:00

What a STRESSFUL week! First of all, I got behind in my work again, but I was able to get my paperwork caught up by Friday. On Monday, I was assigned to a new kid who will be turning 18 on Thursday. That means that I only had last week to complete the case and turn it in for approval. This was the fastest anyone has ever been able to complete the paperwork and get the fingerprint results, and I am the newest case manager they've got! The problem was with the fingerprint results because the new interns at the fingerprint site had problems forwarding the prints to the site that processes them. Then, they asked me for more documents, because the Sponsor was not family... BUT I completed the entire case in one week and I turned in the case for approval on Friday... Wow @ it got me behind especially since I also had to arrange a visit because the child and the Sponsor did not know each other! People at work do not know yet that I turned the case in for approval on Friday. If the case gets approved on Monday, I have to wait 24 hours to request the Stipend and then, he can be released!!!!!! I am also in the process of trying to complete two other cases at the same time, and the money order for the airfare for the kid who will be released next week should be coming in by Monday.

@->----

Another thing is that one of the medical staff was told that he will have to be demoted to direct care staff because they cannot afford to pay for two medical staff. He was puzzled about this because they never changed his salary when he went from direct care staff to medical staff. He went to school to become medical staff and he has to continue to take classes to keep his meical status, so he got upset about it, and rightfully so, so he is quitting. The thing is that he was still on probation when they told him, so I don't know if he will get unemployment. I will miss him, because I consider him a friend. This worries me because my probation is not over until February 17, but also because we are all "at will" employees, which means that they can let you go whenever they want. Scary...

@->----

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T09:48:00.002-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

I bought my own flowers

and

I bought my own CHOCOLATE

and

I danced with myself in the kitchen.

LOL...

::::::MUAH!!!!!:::

Update

2009-02-12T06:19:00.003-06:00

Lots of changes happening at work. I am still on probation until Tuesday of next week. One medical staff person is being demoted before his probation ends so he is quitting. Please keep me in your prayers.

XX

Lao~Tzu::Being Loved

2009-02-10T05:49:00.004-06:00

I have been up since 2:30 a.m... I hope I won't fall asleep at work! I would crash for a few minutes but I will have to go out the door earlier than usual because I have to gas up. The price of gas was going down last year. What happened? It's gone up 50 cents. Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to gas up every other day. Prayers requested to stay awake! LOL

I'm ::TOO SEXY:: for my Car

2009-02-08T06:03:00.005-06:00

First of all, thank you for your insight on yesterday's entry about Beauty. I have so many girlfriends who are wondering what they are doing wrong. LOL...

@->----

LOL @ I couldn't resist this graphic. Had to make a tag out of it. Is this one rated G, too, Lorenzo? LOL @ I see you are a cockroach now, so I am not sure if a cockroach can rate tags by adult content. ha ha...

@->----

Anyways, this graphic got me to thinking about the drivers in the Valley... I must say that the drivers here keep you Spiritual, because I have brushes with death everyday. Statistics say that the one thing people do most when they are on the road is pray. LOL @ if you drive in the Valley, that's got to be TRUE!!!!

@->----

Most people complain about the "race car drivers" who drive at the speed of light. There are a few of those in the Valley, but most of the drivers here drive as if they have their Grandma in the car. I have seen drivers driving at less than the allotted 45 miles an hour in the center lane. LOL @ it sounds funny but not when you have to drive an hour to get to work. I am not sure if the drivers here are afraid to be on the EXPRESSway, if they are too macho that they are trying to look cool, or if that is as fast as their cars can go.

@->----

I know my brother's first car would not go very fast. "Let's take a drive down the Boulevard, Sis," he'd say... and then, he would lower himself down into the car, driving with one hand on the steering wheel. All his friends thought he looked cool, but actually, it was as fast as his car would go. LOL

@->----

Another concern is the drivers who come in from Mexico. Did you know that some Mexican drivers have United States license plates? Did you know that in Mexico they do not take a test to get a license?! Scary; isn't it?!!# If you have ever been to Mexico, then, you know the way these people drive. OMG @ I think I left my pancreas at the other block! Teeheehee...

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The Snowbirds have already started coming in, too. Snowbirds are the people who come to Texas for the winter. Sometime they call themselves "Winter Texans" but I like to call them Snowbirds. LOL... They drive slow, too, sometimes, but not as bad as the people who actually live here. I love it when the Snowbirds show up, because it gives me an opportunity to speak English...

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Although I must admit that I pretend not to know Spanish when people in stores want to sell me things. I figure that if you are going to work in America as a salesperson, you better speak my language. ha ha... My bad.

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:::Beau:ti:ful:::

2009-02-07T06:41:00.018-06:00

"If you could see yourself as others see you, you'd want to be as beautiful as you." I think the saying on this tag is funny, not funny "ha ha" but kind of shocking funny...

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Like Marilyn Monroe, no one ever told me that I was pretty when I was a little girl and no man has ever told me that, either... I think the only man who came closest was the guy who would always said "M*E*R*C*Y!!!" whenever he would see me, but that really isn't the same thing; is it? In a way, you can see they are attracted to you by the way they look at you. Their eyes seem to light up just as if they have seen their first Trans Am, but no man has ever come right out and told me that I am beautiful. Is that a word that they reserve for their mothers or is it just a word that is not in men's vocabularies?!

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With all the "beautiful" people making their way on the covers of magazines and on the modeling runways, average-looking people are spending thousands of dollars buying beauty products, age-defying creams, lotions, diet pills, makeup, name brand jeans, sexy clothes, etc., just trying to look "like everybody else." But then, there are people who don't want to look "average." They want to look more like the "beautiful" people. Those are the people who take more drastic measures to transform themselves through plastic surgery, adding or subtracting boobies and butts, and sucking in their guts through liposuction...

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It's funny how women are always critical of themselves. It's as if we cry the same cry as the Elephant man when we think about the way we look: "I am not a animal (freak)!" My efforts lately have not been anywhere close to the efforts of the "average" woman... pretty sad, I guess... I mean, I dress for business and I wear makeup in the morning, but the other day, I bought something I haven't bought since my youth: flavored lip gloss... It put a kick in my day that brought a smile to my face, knowing I was wearing something that was my own little secret...

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As a woman, I think it is only normal to wonder how men decide which woman is good enough to be a girlfriend or a wife and which woman is only good enough to have sex with. Does a woman's "beauty" have a part in that decision? Actually, being beautiful does not guarantee that a woman will find a man to love her. Marilyn Monroe was beautiful but she suffered this same tragic story. Men were so busy trying to undress her, focusing only on their own selfish desires, but they were blind to the true beauty that was before their eyes... It is not unusual to see ugly girls with gorgeous looking guys or girls who move up to "wife" who don't work and can't even cook. What is their secret? What makes them "more special" than the average or the beautiful woman who has actually gone out of her way to learn how to cook, how to sew, is economical, has a job, and is clearly a better "wife" choice?! Why don't they get noticed? What is the criteria? No mustache? Able to party? She's got to be pretty enough to show off to my men friends?

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Why are men always in a hurry to get sex without even knowing what my name is... If you are a man and you are reading this, please take the time to get to know us! Duh @ that's what most women want!!!!!!!!

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Being beautiful is not just about what I look like on the outside. Being beautiful is also about the lessons that I have learned in my life... It is about the skills I have strengthened in myself and for the good of all humanity... It is about all the things I have been able to accomplish and master when I had doubts in myself... It is about my personality, about my gestures, and the way I walk... It is about my ability to think for myself... It is about the little acts of kindness that I do without wanting to be found out and without asking for anything in return... It is about choosing love over fear... It is about having a huge capacity to love... But most of all, it is my flaws that make me beautiful.... Like my chocolate flavored lip gloss, it is a secret that only a very special man will be able to discover... or not...

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Cupid's Bow

2009-02-02T17:59:00.005-06:00

O.K., Lorenzo... Hope this tag is more to your liking. I used my body on this girl's head, by the way. LOL...

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I was very disappointed in Dr. Bandaid today. You know the type: They only put a bandaid on whatever is ailing you, because they don't want to cure you. Vampire George took out blood, but then, he set it aside, even though they do all of the bloodwork there... That's more money in their pocket, because you are forced to come in for the results. Good grief. Whatsmore, they make you wait forever. I wasted all day there, but I walked out without medication. Every other doctor I have ever seen has given me meds, but Dr. Bandaid said I had to wait for the results. What is that?!# She didn't even check my ears. I wasted all day for nothing, and they don't expect the results to come back til Friday. What is that?! Oooo, that made me mad. If I go back, I am going to wait for the Physician Assistant. He may be an assistant, but he is a much better doctor than Dr. Bandaid.

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Today is Carolina's birthday. We used to call her mother Maria La Loca, because she never took a bath but she always went visiting. Carolina would follow me everywhere. She was about four years old, and I was about seven. She had hair of gold and her eyes were blue. Like her mother, she was always dirty. I would clean her up with a washcloth and brush her hair until she looked like the pretty little girl that she truly was. One day, Maria was cooking beans. Carolina and her little baby sister Raquel were sleeping. Maria locked the door and went next door to visit and gossip with the neighbors. Suddenly, the curtains caught fire and Carolina was yelling for Maria to get her out, but the two little girls burned to death in the fire and there was nothing left of the little girls or of the home but ashes. Carolina was very special to me. If I hadn't been at school when it happened, I would have run into that house to save her and her sister. I will have to take some flowers to her grave this week.

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Another sad thing that happened recently is that the Nun downstairs moved and didn't tell me. She probably moved when I was at work. I leave in the dark and return in the dark. Is it any wonder that I missed her?! She was my favorite tenant in the building. She left behind a spider plant that is not doing very well. I brought it in to try to doctor it back to health. Every time I water it, it will remind me of our friendship.

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Bad to the CORE

2009-01-31T18:28:00.012-06:00

Well, I had a post here, but it disappeared... Oh, well... it happens...

Guess I will write about it another day... or not...

Here is the tag I made today.

OK... , It's Sunday and I am back to this post to add what disappeared...

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Last week was stressful, but it wasn't as bad as the previous week at work... I am getting the hang of things. In fact, I've lost track of the cases that I am getting approved, which is a good thing. LOL... I am waiting on airfare money to reunite one of the kids with family this week, and I submitted another case for approval on Friday... I didn't have to ask any questions to Betty Crocker or Spelling Bee this week. In fact, I was surprised that Betty Crocker asked me a question about how to close a file. I have five of Betty Crocker's old cases that were transferred to me and I have two new kids that just came in.

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Betty Crocker's old cases are what have me running behind. I have to write updates every week but now they want us to write an additional update every 30 days. It's hard to write updates from someone else's notes, because I was not the kids case manager at the time. I am still struggling with a kid that was there since July, but I have to hurry up with his because he might be transferring to another facility by Tuesday. Grrr...

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This week, I lost some papers that had me panicky for several days, but somehow, they mysteriously turned up. I am not sure if I already filed all of them, but I hope so. Also, I lost my approved case, but for some unknown reason, I wasn't panicky about it. I guess I was just trusting God to find it for me, and it showed up right away. I don't know if the girls are playing with my mind or if I actually lost them myself. I know Betty Crocker is all about her. She likes to play herself up whenever she does something right. I hope they are not playing games with me...

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This week, I finally had New Hire Orientation. I have to laugh at how these people do everything backwards. I won a Cheetah pillow for participating, and Frenchy won't let me forget about it, because she wanted it. I had it on my chair at work, but I decided that it might help her to forget if I brought it home, so I did...

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I wasn't able to go to the grocery store last week, so I had to go out to eat on Thursday and Friday, because I ran out of food to take for lunch. On Friday, I went to eat Chinese with Ms Tiara and one of the M&M girls. These are my no-diet weeks, but I have been a little bad. LOL... I told the M&M girl that I could only go to eat if I go from 12:00 to 1:00 because the last time when we left at 12:10 and returned at 1:10, the Eye gave me a five minute lecture about it... This upset her some, because I rarely go out to eat at lunchtime, and the Eye and the click are usually always late returning from lunch.

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The girls at work are not doing well with their diet. Betty Crocker and Frenchy only lost 1/2 a pound in two weeks, although I think the medical staff gave them a break so they wouldn't have to pay. Spelling Bee was out on weigh-in day, probably because she was stuffing cake and all this food the day before and pretty much the rest of the week. LOL...

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I have been without a key to get into our office since I started this job, but the week before last week, they changed all of the locks in the building. I was supposed to get a key last week, but I am still without a key. Hopefully, we should all have keys this week. It is hard to be without a key, because I always have to wait outside the door for Spelling Bee to open the door in the morning, and if I went out to eat all the time, I would have to wait for them to get back from lunch. That is another reason why I stay in to eat a sandwich instead...

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I was right about the files. We are going to have to check them out and back in, but whatsmore is that they are going to put them in a little room by Ms Tiara and only she will have the key. I hope it doesn't create any problems. From what I hear, the room is very small. Also, the Eye will be in charge of the Petty Cash, so we will have to go through him when a child leaves. This worries me, because the other M&M girl was in charge of Petty Cash, but she has not been at work for several days. Is she sick or is she no longer going to be with us? This week will tell...

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To add to my story, I have been battling with an ingrown pimple for two weeks, going on three weeks this week. OMG @ I only get pimples when I am under stress, but I have never had one that has lasted this long. The ingrown ones are the most painful. OMG @ so what does that tell you?!#

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P.S... It's February 1! My probation period ends February 17... the date is getting closer... Will I make it?!... I am trusting that the door that God opened up, will not be closed by a human being.

Check Him OUT!

2009-01-30T06:13:00.004-06:00

Guess men are more anxious than women to find someone, because the Mr. Eye Candy who was flirting with me when I first started this job now has a girlfriend. LOL... It happens...

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I went to pick up the company mail earlier in the week, because a Sponsor insisted that the Post Office told her that her money order was already here... When I was there, the Pastor stopped to talk to me... He was a little flirty, actually... OMG @ are Pastors allowed to do that? He is not a bad looking man but he has a wife... Yesterday, I ran into him again. This time, his son was with him. LOL @ that messed up his chances of flirting. Still, me and a pastor?!# I think NOT.

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One thing they said at Orientation that is still on my mind is that "men love nipples." OMG @ I cannot believe that is what I heard. Actually, it was a warning to women to wear a heavier bra to work. LOL

T.G.I.F.!!!!!!

:::It's In His KISS:::

2009-01-29T06:28:00.003-06:00

LOL @ Lorenzo requesting more anatomy shots! LOL @ this is not exactly the anatomy you were looking for. ha ha ha ha...

XOXO

We have staffing today plus the Eye is going to make us sign charts out and in. I know that because I created the form myself... Grrr @ I hope that doesn't mean that I can only pull out one chart at a time. Yesterday, I pulled out almost all of my files, trying to get caught up, but the new change of them wanting extra updates every 30 days is really hard, especially for the kids who have been there way before I was and were followed by someone else... Sometimes I think Betty Crocker gave them to me on purpose so she wouldn't have to do them.

I have another approved case so I am waiting for airfare money for him, which should give me a little time until he leaves...

XOXO

What's worse is that I lost some papers. Grrr @ hope nobody finds out until I can find them or I may have to have the kids redo them.

XOXO

Girl-O-Matic

2009-01-27T19:08:00.003-06:00

Can't find the girl of your dreams?!# Create one! LOL... Wonder if this little guy has a Man-O-Matic machine, although Richard Gere and Mario Cimarro are enough to make me drool. LOL...

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Things continue to be busy at work, and I continue to play catch up... Unfortunately, I had to participate in New Hire Orientation today... Yep @ I am only now getting it... While I was at the Orientation, my boss discovered that I am behind in my updates. OMG... If I had been at work today instead of Orientation, I would have filed them, and he never would have known that I was behind. He sent me an email about it, which is bad, because the email means that it is documented that I messed up. I hope it doesn't hurt my probationary period.

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Prayers requested here, please...