Tuesday, May 11, 2010

always KISS me goodnight:::


I am feeling a little blue today, knowing that 2010 is almost heading into summer... I am blue, because although I bring myself to the point of exhaustion, spinning my wheels with the busy-ness of everyday life, my progress continues to stand still and I continue to lose money working at a job that pays only half what I used to make... I do not regret leaving my previous job, but I do wish that the efforts I make in my current job would bring at least a little bit of reward...

I am grateful that I have a job, even if it is a temporary job, but my mind and my body have become so exhausted that not even sleep brings renewal or relief... and what's worse is that the color of my eyes has gone from brown to red... Good grief @ who was the nut who invented money and did he hoard it all for himself?!

As a single person, my struggles are usually about money, because single people have no other choice but to work in order to survive... If you can't make the money, you learn to do without... but my biggest struggle is that I want to do more than just exist!

Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if there had been an encouraging person in my life to always kiss me goodnight... Unloved children with no support learn to comfort themselves with their own words and with their own arms... and so, I put my arms around myself once more, and tell myself that everything will work out for the best...